THE UNSPEAKABLE TURK.
(Supplement to "Punch", 16th December 1914)
"PUNCH" OFFICE, 10 BOUVERIE STREET, LONDON, E.C.
THE STATUS QUO.
Turkey. "Will you not still befriend me?"
Britannia. "Befriend you?—Not with your hands of that colour!"
September 9, 1876.
ONE BUBBLE MORE!!
January 6, 1877.
EVERYBODY'S FRIEND!
March 2, 1878.
THE SUBLIME "SUPER"!
Stage Manager. "What are you to do, Sir? Why, get well to the back, and—wave your banner!!!"
September 16, 1882.
COOPED UP!
October 26, 1889.
"DEEDS—NOT WORDS!"
John Bull. "Look here,—we've had enough of your palaver! are you going to let the girl go, or have we got to make you?"
June 15, 1895.
A FREE HAND.
The Unspeakable Turk. "Ha, ha. There's no one about! I can get to business again."
January 18, 1896.
A TURKISH BATH.
Sultan. "They gave it me pretty hot in that Armenian room! but—Bismillah! this is—— phew!!"
August 22, 1896.
"TURKEY LIMITED."
Sultan. "Make me into a Limited Company? H'm—Ah—S'pose they'll allow me to join the Board after Allotment!"
November 28, 1896.
TENDER MERCIES!
Dame Europa (to Little Crete). "Don't cry, my little man. I've asked this nice, kind Turkish policeman to stay and take care of you!"
March 13, 1897.
THE SLAVE OF DUTY!
Admiral John Bull. "Now then, out you'll have to go!"
The Unspeakable. "What! Leave my beautiful Crete in a state of disorder? Never!"
September 24, 1898.
THE MITYLENE MARCH.
The Sultan. "I don't like Solos! Give me the good old-fashioned European Concerto!"
November 13, 1901.
BETWEEN RUSSIA AND THE DEEP SEA.
September 9, 1903.
THE OPTIMIST.
Abdul Hamid. "What, all the Fleets coming here? That will be fun! I do hope they'll have Fireworks!"
November 22, 1905.
OUT OF BOUNDS.
May 9, 1906.
THE THRONE PERILOUS.
July 29, 1908.
THE SALT-WATER CURE.
Shah of Persia. "Go on in, Abdul—just for the look of the thing. You can always come out if you don't like it."
Sick Man of Europe. "Yes, I know. But one gets so wet!"
August 12, 1908.
AT LAST!
November 27, 1912.
ARMAGEDDON: A DIVERSION.
Turkey. "Good! If only all those other christian nations get at one another's throats, I may have a dog's chance yet."
December 4, 1912.
NO EFFECTS.
Balkan Leaguer. "It's your money we want."
Turkey. "Money, dear boy? Search me!"
March 26, 1913.
SETTLED.
Dame Europa. "You've always been the most troublesome boy in the school. Now go and consolidate yourself."
Turkey. "Please, ma'am, what does that mean?"
Dame Europa. "It means going into that corner—and stopping there!"
April 2, 1913.
"DEUTSCHLAND UEBER ALLES."
King of the Hellenes. "Our success was, as you know, entirely due to you."
German Emperor. "Thanks, thanks." (Aside) "I suppose he can't be referring to our organisation of the Turkish army."
September 17, 1913.
ANOTHER PEACE CONFERENCE.
Turkey (to Greece). "Aha! My young friend, alone at last! Now we can arrange a really nice treaty."
October 8, 1913.
HIS MASTER'S VOICE.
The Kaiser (to Turkey, reassuringly). "Leave everything to me. All you've got to do is to explode."
Turkey. "Yes, I quite see that. But where
November 11, 1914.