Page 1
[Transcriber's Notes]
This is one of the first books I remember reading as a child. Some of
the items are thoughtfully written, like how to write checks. Many
others are just rumors or careless opinions. Some are "racy" ads. Many
articles are lead-ins to the advertisements. Whatever their truth, they
are interesting reading, calculated to draw the attention of drug store
customers of 1910.
The text of the advertisements have been reproduced along with the
accompanying graphics. Correct grammar and punctuation has been sacrificed
to preserving the original format of the ads.
"Mother's Remedies, Over One Thousand Tried and Tested Remedies from Mothers
of the United States and Canada" (Gutenberg EText 17439) is a book for a
similar audience, but without advertisements.
Here are the definitions of some unfamiliar (to me) words.
aperients
Laxative.
averment
Assert formally as a fact.
biliousness
Peevish; irritable; cranky; extremely unpleasant or distasteful.
bill of attainder
Legislative determination imposing punishment without trial.
bodkin
Small, sharply pointed instrument to make holes in fabric or leather.
carnelian
Pale to deep red or reddish-brown.
catarrhal
Inflammation of a mucous membrane, especially of the respiratory
tract, accompanied by excessive secretions.
cholera morbus
Acute gastroenteritis occurring in summer and autumn; symptoms are
severe cramps, diarrhea, and vomiting.
conspectus
General or comprehensive view; survey; digest; summary.
copperas
Ferrous sulfate.
cumulation
Accumulation, heap, mass.
diathesis
Constitutional predisposition.
disseised
Dispossess unlawfully or unjustly; oust.
emercement (amercement)
Fine not fixed by law; inflicting an arbitrary penalty.
emoluments
Payment for an office or employment; compensation.
Erebus
Greek Mythology; the dark region of the underworld through which the
dead must pass before they reach Hades.
erraticism
Deviating from the usual conduct or opinion; eccentric; queer.
histologist
One who does anatomical studies of the microscopic structure of animal
and plant tissues.
impecuniosity
Having little or no money; penniless; poor.
indurated
Hardened; obstinate; unfeeling.
inheres
Inherent or innate.
intendent
Title of various government officials or administrators.
Irondequoit
Town of western New York on Lake Ontario and Irondequoit Bay, near
Rochester.
lees
Sediment settling during fermentation, especially wine; dregs.
luxation
Displacement or misalignment of a joint or organ.
Marque (letter of)
Commission granted by a state to a private citizen to capture and
confiscate the merchant ships of another nation.
meerschaum
Fine, compact, usually white clay-like mineral of hydrous magnesium
silicate, H4Mg2Si3O10, used for tobacco pipes, building stone and
ornamental carvings. Also called sepiolite.
Orfila
Mathieu Orfila (1787-1853). Chemist, founder of toxicology.
pearlash
Potassium carbonate.
prosody
Study of the metrical structure of verse.
Prussian blue
Dark blue crystalline hydrated compound, Fe4[Fe(CN)6]3.xH2O; ferric
ferrocyanide.
putrescible
Liable to decay or spoil or become putrid.
quassia
Shrub or small tree of tropical America, Quassia amara. Prepared form
of the heartwood, used as an insecticide and in medicine as a tonic to
dispel intestinal worms
quoits
Game; player throws rings of rope or flattened metal at an upright
peg, attempting to encircle it or come as close to it as possible.
rotten stone
Porous, lightweight, siliceous sedimentary rock; shells of diatoms or
radiolarians or of finely weathered chert, used as an abrasive and a
polish.
saltpetre
Potassium nitrate, KNO3.
sciatica
Pain extending from the hip down the back of the thigh and surrounding
area.
spatulate
Shaped like a spatula; rounded like a spoon.
sustension
Sustaining.
Tete d'armee
Head of Army.
theine
Caffeine.
towardliness
Apt to learn; promising; docile; tractable; propitious; seasonable.
[End Transcriber's Notes]
Every Purchase
Save You Money
AT
THE CENTRAL
Save money on your Drug Store Merchandise by buying at the Central. We
carry everything in Drugs Toilet Article, Rubber Goods, Sundries,
Candies, Cigars, etc.
You will be surprised at our low prices and quick service and pleased
with our complete stocks.
We carry a complete line of Burke's Home Remedies. Burke's Home Remedies
are sold under the Money Back Guarantee.
3 STORES IN DETROIT
CENTRAL DRUG CO.
Main Store 219 Woodward Ave.
Branch Stores
89 Woodward Ave. 153 Grand River Ave.
Detroit, MICH
The Handy Cyclopedia
Of
Things Worth Knowing
A Manual of Ready Reference
Covering Especially Such Information
Of Everyday Use as is often
Hardest to Find When
Most Needed
"Inquire Within About Everything"
For alphabetical index see page 277
CHICAGO
ALBERT J. DUBOIS
1911
Copyright. 1911, by Joseph Trienens
TO OUR PATRONS
This little book is presented to you to evidence our appreciation of
your patronage. We trust you will examine its contents closely, for you
will find within its covers many things that will prove entertaining,
instructive and useful.
It is new and up-to-date and has been expressly compiled for our
patrons. Only matter of real interest and value has been included in its
pages.
It is a general experience that answers to those questions which arise
most often in every-day life are hardest to find. Information on
practical subjects is usually just beyond your reach when it is most
desired. You will use this little book every day when you "want to
know."
It is equally valuable to all classes, men as well as women; to workers
generally as well as people of leisure. It is the book for the busy
housekeeper as well as the woman of fashion.
We shall feel amply repaid for the painstaking labor, care and expense
which we have bestowed upon this little volume if its constant utility
to you more firmly cements your good will to our establishment.
Just a few words about the advertisements. They are from concerns of
established reputation whose products we freely recommend with full
confidence that they are the best of their respective kinds. The index
to the advertising section is on pages 5 and 6.
Sincerely yours,
THE CENTRAL DRUG CO.
INDEX TO ADVERTISEMENTS
For index of general contents see page
Abilena Mineral Water
Albany Chemical Co
Aleta Hair Tonic
Alexander's Asthma Remedy
Allen's Cough Balsam
Ankle Supports
Arch Cushions
Astyptodyne
Page 2
Athlophoros
Australian Eucalyptus Globulus Oil
Bath Cabinets
Blair's Pills
Blood Berry Gum Page facing inside back cover
"Bloom of Youth," Laird's
Blue Ribbon Gum
Blush of Roses
Bonheim's Shaving Cream
Borax, Pacific Coast
Borden's Malted Milk
Brown's Asthma Remedy
Brown's Liquid Dressing
Brown's Wonder Face Cream
Brown's Wonder Salve
Bryans' Asthma Remedy
Buffalo Lithia Springs Water
Buffers, Nail
Burnishine
Byrud's Corn Cure
Byrud's Instant Relief
Cabler's (W. P.) Root Juice
Calder's Dentine
Carmichael's Gray Hair Restorer
Carmichael's Hair Tonic
Celery-Vesce
Chavett Diphtheria Preventive
Chavett Solace
Chocolates and Bon Bons
Coe's Cough Balsam
Consumers Company
Corsets
Coupons
Crane's Lotion
Crown Headache Powders
Daisy Fly Killer
"Dead Stuck" for Bugs
Delatone
Dennos Food
Digesto
Dissolvene Rubber Garments
Downs' Obesity Reducer
Drosis
Duponts Hair Restorative
Dyspepsia Remedy, Graham's
Elastic Stockings
El Perfecto Veda Rose Rouge
Empress Hair Color Restorer
Empress Shampoo Soap
Euca-Scentol
Femaform Cones
Golden Remedy for Epilepsy
Golden Rule Hair Restorative
Goodwin's Corn Salve
Goodwin's Foot Powder
Gowans Pneumonia Preparation
Graves' (Dr.) Tooth Powder
Gray's Ointment
Great Western Champagne
Grube's Corn Remover
Guild's Asthma Cure
Harvard Athletic Supports
Heel Cushions
Hegeman's Camphor Ice
Hill's Chloride of Gold Tablets
Hoag's (Dr.) Cell Tissue Tonic
Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea
Hot Water Bottles
Hydrox Chemical Company
Hygeia Nursing Bottles
I-De-Lite
Irondequoit Port Wine
Jetum
Jucket's (Dr.) Salve
Karith
Kellogg's Asthma Remedy
Knickerbocker Spraybrushes
Kondon's Catarrhal Jelly
Kumyss, Arend-Adamick
Lemke's (Dr.) Golden Electric Liniment
Lemke's (Dr.) Laxative Herb Tea
Lemke's (Dr.) St. Johannis Drops
Leslie Safety Razors
Louisenbad Reduction Salt
Lune de Miel Perfume
"Lustr-ite" Toilet Specialties
Luxtone Toilet Preparations
Mando, Depilatory
Manicure Goods
Mares Cough Balsam
Martel's (Dr.) Female Pills
Marvel Syringes
Mayr's Stomach Remedy
"Meehan's" Razor Stropper
Mey's Poultice
Mixer Medicine Company
Mt. Clemens Bitter Water
Musterole
Nardine
New Bachelor Cigars
Noblesse Toilet Preparations
Obesity Gaveck Tablets
Obesity Reducer, Downs'
Olive Oil
Orange Blossom
Orangeine
Ordway (Dr. D. P.) Plasters
Oriental Cream
Orthopedic Apparatus
Palmer's Perfumes
Paracamph
Peckham's Croup Remedy
Perry Davis Painkiller
Physiological Tonicum
Pinus Medicine Co.
Piso's Remedy
Planten's Capsules
Plexo Toilet Cream
Poland Water
Pozzoni's Complexion Powder
"Queen Bess" Perfume
Rat-Nox
Razor Stropper, "Meehan's"
Razors
Rex Bitters
Riker's Tooth Powder
Roachine
Rossman's Pile Cure
Saliodin
Salted Peanuts
Salubrin
Samurai Perfumes
Sandholm's Skin Lotion
Sanford's Inks
"Sanitas," Disinfectant
Scheffler's Hair Colorine
Seguin et Cie
Sharp & Smith
Shoes for the Lame
Shoulder Braces
Simplex Vaporizers
Skidoo Soap
Soaps, Stiefel's Medicinal
Solo Rye
Sorority Girl Toilet Requisites
Sponges
Stiefel's Medicinal Soaps
St. Jacob's Oil
Strong's Arnica Jelly
Strong's Arnica Tooth Soap
Sweet Babee Nursing Bottle
Tailoring for Men
Tanglefoot Fly Paper
Toilet Paper
Tooth Brushes
Typewriters
Tyrrell's Hygienic Institute
Villacabras Mineral Water
Virgin Oil of Pine
Whittemore's Polishes
Wright's Catarrhal Balm
Wright's Rheumatic Remedy
Young's Victoria Cream
SOCIAL FORMS
Manners and Customs of Good Society
ETIQUETTE OF COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.
It is a growing custom in America not to announce an engagement until
the date of the marriage is approximately settled. Long engagements are
irksome to both man and woman, and a man is generally not supposed to
ask a girl to marry him until he is able to provide a home for her.
This, however, does not prevent long friendships between young couples
or a sentimental understanding growing up between them, and it is during
this period that they learn to know each other and find out if they are
suited for a life's partnership.
When a "young man goes a-courting" it generally means that he has some
particular girl in mind whom he has singled out as the object of his
devotion. A man a-courting is generally on his best behavior, and many a
happily married wife looks back on her courting days as the most
delightful of her life. At that time the woman is the object of a
devotion to which she has as yet conceded nothing. She is still at
liberty to weigh and choose, to compare her lover to other men, while
the knowledge that she is the ultimate girl that some man is trying to
win gives her a pretty sense of self-importance and a feeling that she
has come into the heritage of womanhood.
Whether it is one of the fictions about courtship or not, it is
generally assumed that a young woman is longer in making up her mind
than is the young man. When a man finds the right girl he is pretty apt
to know it, and it is his business then to start out and persuade her to
his point of view. "Neither willing nor reluctant" is the attitude of
the young girl.
Gifts and Attention.
Just what attention a man is privileged to show a young woman to whom he
is not engaged, and yet to whom he wishes to express his devotion, is a
point a little difficult to define.
If she is a bookish girl she will be pleased with gifts of books or the
suggestion that they may read the same books so they may talk them over
together. She will probably feel complimented if a man discusses with
her his business affairs and the problems that are interesting men in
their life work. When a man begins to call often and regularly on a girl
it is best to have some topic of conversation aside from personalities.
When a man is led to spend more money than he can afford in entertaining
a girl it is a bad preparation for matrimony. Courtship is a time when a
man desires to bring gifts, and it is quite right and fitting that he
should do so within reasonable limits. A girl of refined feelings does
not like to accept valuable presents from a man at this period of their
acquaintance. Flowers, books, music, if the girl plays or sings, and
boxes of candy are always permissible offerings which neither engage the
man who offers them nor the girl who receives them. This is the time
when a man invites a girl to the theater, to concerts and lectures, and
may offer to escort her to church. The pleasure of her society is
supposed to be a full return for the trouble and expense incurred in
showing these small attentions.
The Claims of Companionship.
A man cannot justly complain if a girl accepts similar favors from other
men, for until he has proposed and been accepted he has no claim on her
undivided companionship. An attitude of proprietorship on his part,
particularly if it is exercised in public, is as bad manners as it is
unwise, and a high-spirited girl, although she may find her feelings
becoming engaged, is prone to resent it. It should be remembered that a
man is free to cease his attentions, and until he has finally
surrendered his liberty he should not expect her to devote
Australian Eucalyptus Globulus Oil
Bath Cabinets
Blair's Pills
Blood Berry Gum Page facing inside back cover
"Bloom of Youth," Laird's
Blue Ribbon Gum
Blush of Roses
Bonheim's Shaving Cream
Borax, Pacific Coast
Borden's Malted Milk
Brown's Asthma Remedy
Brown's Liquid Dressing
Brown's Wonder Face Cream
Brown's Wonder Salve
Bryans' Asthma Remedy
Buffalo Lithia Springs Water
Buffers, Nail
Burnishine
Byrud's Corn Cure
Byrud's Instant Relief
Cabler's (W. P.) Root Juice
Calder's Dentine
Carmichael's Gray Hair Restorer
Carmichael's Hair Tonic
Celery-Vesce
Chavett Diphtheria Preventive
Chavett Solace
Chocolates and Bon Bons
Coe's Cough Balsam
Consumers Company
Corsets
Coupons
Crane's Lotion
Crown Headache Powders
Daisy Fly Killer
"Dead Stuck" for Bugs
Delatone
Dennos Food
Digesto
Dissolvene Rubber Garments
Downs' Obesity Reducer
Drosis
Duponts Hair Restorative
Dyspepsia Remedy, Graham's
Elastic Stockings
El Perfecto Veda Rose Rouge
Empress Hair Color Restorer
Empress Shampoo Soap
Euca-Scentol
Femaform Cones
Golden Remedy for Epilepsy
Golden Rule Hair Restorative
Goodwin's Corn Salve
Goodwin's Foot Powder
Gowans Pneumonia Preparation
Graves' (Dr.) Tooth Powder
Gray's Ointment
Great Western Champagne
Grube's Corn Remover
Guild's Asthma Cure
Harvard Athletic Supports
Heel Cushions
Hegeman's Camphor Ice
Hill's Chloride of Gold Tablets
Hoag's (Dr.) Cell Tissue Tonic
Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea
Hot Water Bottles
Hydrox Chemical Company
Hygeia Nursing Bottles
I-De-Lite
Irondequoit Port Wine
Jetum
Jucket's (Dr.) Salve
Karith
Kellogg's Asthma Remedy
Knickerbocker Spraybrushes
Kondon's Catarrhal Jelly
Kumyss, Arend-Adamick
Lemke's (Dr.) Golden Electric Liniment
Lemke's (Dr.) Laxative Herb Tea
Lemke's (Dr.) St. Johannis Drops
Leslie Safety Razors
Louisenbad Reduction Salt
Lune de Miel Perfume
"Lustr-ite" Toilet Specialties
Luxtone Toilet Preparations
Mando, Depilatory
Manicure Goods
Mares Cough Balsam
Martel's (Dr.) Female Pills
Marvel Syringes
Mayr's Stomach Remedy
"Meehan's" Razor Stropper
Mey's Poultice
Mixer Medicine Company
Mt. Clemens Bitter Water
Musterole
Nardine
New Bachelor Cigars
Noblesse Toilet Preparations
Obesity Gaveck Tablets
Obesity Reducer, Downs'
Olive Oil
Orange Blossom
Orangeine
Ordway (Dr. D. P.) Plasters
Oriental Cream
Orthopedic Apparatus
Palmer's Perfumes
Paracamph
Peckham's Croup Remedy
Perry Davis Painkiller
Physiological Tonicum
Pinus Medicine Co.
Piso's Remedy
Planten's Capsules
Plexo Toilet Cream
Poland Water
Pozzoni's Complexion Powder
"Queen Bess" Perfume
Rat-Nox
Razor Stropper, "Meehan's"
Razors
Rex Bitters
Riker's Tooth Powder
Roachine
Rossman's Pile Cure
Saliodin
Salted Peanuts
Salubrin
Samurai Perfumes
Sandholm's Skin Lotion
Sanford's Inks
"Sanitas," Disinfectant
Scheffler's Hair Colorine
Seguin et Cie
Sharp & Smith
Shoes for the Lame
Shoulder Braces
Simplex Vaporizers
Skidoo Soap
Soaps, Stiefel's Medicinal
Solo Rye
Sorority Girl Toilet Requisites
Sponges
Stiefel's Medicinal Soaps
St. Jacob's Oil
Strong's Arnica Jelly
Strong's Arnica Tooth Soap
Sweet Babee Nursing Bottle
Tailoring for Men
Tanglefoot Fly Paper
Toilet Paper
Tooth Brushes
Typewriters
Tyrrell's Hygienic Institute
Villacabras Mineral Water
Virgin Oil of Pine
Whittemore's Polishes
Wright's Catarrhal Balm
Wright's Rheumatic Remedy
Young's Victoria Cream
SOCIAL FORMS
Manners and Customs of Good Society
ETIQUETTE OF COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.
It is a growing custom in America not to announce an engagement until
the date of the marriage is approximately settled. Long engagements are
irksome to both man and woman, and a man is generally not supposed to
ask a girl to marry him until he is able to provide a home for her.
This, however, does not prevent long friendships between young couples
or a sentimental understanding growing up between them, and it is during
this period that they learn to know each other and find out if they are
suited for a life's partnership.
When a "young man goes a-courting" it generally means that he has some
particular girl in mind whom he has singled out as the object of his
devotion. A man a-courting is generally on his best behavior, and many a
happily married wife looks back on her courting days as the most
delightful of her life. At that time the woman is the object of a
devotion to which she has as yet conceded nothing. She is still at
liberty to weigh and choose, to compare her lover to other men, while
the knowledge that she is the ultimate girl that some man is trying to
win gives her a pretty sense of self-importance and a feeling that she
has come into the heritage of womanhood.
Whether it is one of the fictions about courtship or not, it is
generally assumed that a young woman is longer in making up her mind
than is the young man. When a man finds the right girl he is pretty apt
to know it, and it is his business then to start out and persuade her to
his point of view. "Neither willing nor reluctant" is the attitude of
the young girl.
Gifts and Attention.
Just what attention a man is privileged to show a young woman to whom he
is not engaged, and yet to whom he wishes to express his devotion, is a
point a little difficult to define.
If she is a bookish girl she will be pleased with gifts of books or the
suggestion that they may read the same books so they may talk them over
together. She will probably feel complimented if a man discusses with
her his business affairs and the problems that are interesting men in
their life work. When a man begins to call often and regularly on a girl
it is best to have some topic of conversation aside from personalities.
When a man is led to spend more money than he can afford in entertaining
a girl it is a bad preparation for matrimony. Courtship is a time when a
man desires to bring gifts, and it is quite right and fitting that he
should do so within reasonable limits. A girl of refined feelings does
not like to accept valuable presents from a man at this period of their
acquaintance. Flowers, books, music, if the girl plays or sings, and
boxes of candy are always permissible offerings which neither engage the
man who offers them nor the girl who receives them. This is the time
when a man invites a girl to the theater, to concerts and lectures, and
may offer to escort her to church. The pleasure of her society is
supposed to be a full return for the trouble and expense incurred in
showing these small attentions.
The Claims of Companionship.
A man cannot justly complain if a girl accepts similar favors from other
men, for until he has proposed and been accepted he has no claim on her
undivided companionship. An attitude of proprietorship on his part,
particularly if it is exercised in public, is as bad manners as it is
unwise, and a high-spirited girl, although she may find her feelings
becoming engaged, is prone to resent it. It should be remembered that a
man is free to cease his attentions, and until he has finally
surrendered his liberty he should not expect her to devote
Page 3
all her time
to him.
At this period it is a wise man who makes a friend of a girl's mother,
and if he does this he will generally be repaid in a twofold manner. No
matter how willful a girl may be, her mother's opinion of her friends
always has weight with her.
Moreover, what the mother is the girl will in all probability become,
and a man has no better opportunity of learning a girl's mental and
moral qualities than by knowing the woman who bore and reared her.
Engagement and Wedding Rings.
The form and material of "the mystic ring of marriage" change but
little, and innovations on the plain gold band are rarely successful.
The very broad, flat band is now out of date and replaced by a much
narrower ring, sufficiently thick, however, to stand the usage of a
lifetime. It is generally engraved on the concealed side with the
initials of the giver and the date of the marriage. The gold in the ring
should be as pure as possible, and the color, which depends on the alloy
used, should be unobtrusive, the pale gold being better liked now than
the red gold. Many women never remove their wedding ring after it has
been put on and believe it is bad luck to do so.
There is but one choice for an engagement ring, a solitaire diamond, and
clusters or colored stones are not considered in this connection. As
after the wedding the engagement ring is used as a guard to the wedding
ring, it should be as handsome as possible, and a small, pure stone is a
far better choice than a more showy one that may be a little off in
color or possess a flaw.
Correct Form in Jewelry.
On the wedding day the groom often makes the bride a wedding present of
some piece of jewelry, and if this is to be worn during the ceremony it
should consist of white stones in a thin gold or platinum setting, such
as a pendant, bracelet or pin of pearls and diamonds. If a colored stone
is preferred--and a turquoise, for instance, adds the touch of blue
which is supposed to bring a bride good luck--it should be concealed
inside the dress during the services.
As a memento of the event a groom often presents his ushers with a scarf
pin or watch or cigarette case ornamented with the initials of the bride
and groom, and the bride generally makes a similar present to her
bridesmaids of some dainty piece of jewelry. Whether this takes the form
of a pin, bracelet or one of the novelties that up-to-date jewelers are
always showing, it should be the best of its kind. Imitation stones or
"silver gilt" have no place as wedding gifts.
Wedding Customs.
There is no time in a woman's life when ceremonies seem so important as
when a wedding in the family is imminent. Whether the wedding is to be a
simple home ceremony or an elaborate church affair followed by a
reception, the formalities which etiquette prescribes for these
functions should be carefully studied and followed. Only by doing so can
there be the proper dignity, and above all the absence of confusion that
should mark the most important episode in the life of a man or woman.
Wedding customs have undergone some changes of late years, mostly in the
direction of simplicity. Meaningless display and ostentation should be
avoided, and, if a girl is marrying into a family much better endowed in
worldly goods than her own, she should have no false pride in insisting
on simple festivities and in preventing her family from incurring
expense that they cannot afford. The entire expenses of a wedding, with
the exception of the clergyman's fee and the carriage which takes the
bride and groom away for their honeymoon, are met by the bride's family,
and there is no worse impropriety than in allowing the groom to meet or
share any of these obligations. Rather than allow this a girl would show
more self-respect in choosing to do away with the social side of the
function and be content with the marriage ceremony read by her clergyman
under his own roof.
Invitations and Announcements.
In the case of a private wedding announcement cards should be mailed the
following day to all relatives and acquaintances of both the contracting
parties.
Evening weddings are no longer the custom, and the fashionable hour is
now high noon, although in many cases three o'clock in the afternoon is
the hour chosen. Whether the wedding is to be followed by a reception or
not, the invitations to it should be sent out not less than two weeks
before the event, and these should be promptly accepted or declined by
those receiving them. The acceptance of a wedding invitation by no means
implies that the recipient is obliged to give a present. These are only
expected of relatives and near friends of the bride and groom, and in
all cases the presents should be addressed and sent to the bride, who
should acknowledge them by a prettily worded note of thanks as soon as
the gifts are received or, at the latest, a few days after the marriage
ceremony.
Silver and Linen.
The usual rule followed in the engraving of silver or the marking of
linen is to use the initials of the bride's maiden name. The question of
duplicate gifts is as annoying to the sender as it is to the young
couple who are ultimately to enjoy the gifts. Theoretically, it is bad
form to exchange a gift after it has been received, but, in truth, this
is often done when a great deal of silver is given by close friends or
members of the family it is a comparatively easy matter to find out what
has already been sent and to learn the bride's wishes in this matter.
Prenuptial Functions.
After the wedding invitations are out it is not customary for a girl to
attend any social functions or to be much seen in public. This gives her
the necessary time to devote to the finishing of her trousseau and for
making any necessary arrangements for the new life she is to take up
after the honeymoon is over. Family dinners are quite proper at this
time, and it is expected of her to give a lunch to her bridesmaids. The
wedding presents may be shown at this occasion, but any more public and
general display of them is now rarely indulged in and is, in fact, not
considered in good taste.
The groom, as a prenuptial celebration, is supposed to give a supper to
his intimate bachelor friends and the men who are to act as ushers at
the marriage ceremony. The ushers are generally recruited from the
friends of the groom rather than those of the bride, but if she has a
grown brother he is always asked to act in this capacity. Ushers, like
bridesmaids, are chosen among the unmarried friends of the young couple,
although a matron of honor is often included in the bridal party.
The Bride's Trousseau.
The bride's trousseau should be finished well before the fortnight
preceding the wedding. Fashions change so quickly now that it is rarely
advisable for a bride to provide gowns for more than a season ahead. If
the check her father furnishes her for her trousseau is a generous one
it is a wise provision to put a part of it aside for later use, and in
so doing she has the equivalent of a wardrobe that will last her for a
year or more.
Custom has decreed that the bride's wedding dress shall be of pure
white, and, as the marriage ceremony is a religious one, whether it
takes place in a church or in a private house, that it shall be made
high in the neck and with long sleeves. Orange blossoms, the natural
flowers, form the trimming to the corsage and a coronet to fasten the
veil. A bride's ornaments include only one gift of white
to him.
At this period it is a wise man who makes a friend of a girl's mother,
and if he does this he will generally be repaid in a twofold manner. No
matter how willful a girl may be, her mother's opinion of her friends
always has weight with her.
Moreover, what the mother is the girl will in all probability become,
and a man has no better opportunity of learning a girl's mental and
moral qualities than by knowing the woman who bore and reared her.
Engagement and Wedding Rings.
The form and material of "the mystic ring of marriage" change but
little, and innovations on the plain gold band are rarely successful.
The very broad, flat band is now out of date and replaced by a much
narrower ring, sufficiently thick, however, to stand the usage of a
lifetime. It is generally engraved on the concealed side with the
initials of the giver and the date of the marriage. The gold in the ring
should be as pure as possible, and the color, which depends on the alloy
used, should be unobtrusive, the pale gold being better liked now than
the red gold. Many women never remove their wedding ring after it has
been put on and believe it is bad luck to do so.
There is but one choice for an engagement ring, a solitaire diamond, and
clusters or colored stones are not considered in this connection. As
after the wedding the engagement ring is used as a guard to the wedding
ring, it should be as handsome as possible, and a small, pure stone is a
far better choice than a more showy one that may be a little off in
color or possess a flaw.
Correct Form in Jewelry.
On the wedding day the groom often makes the bride a wedding present of
some piece of jewelry, and if this is to be worn during the ceremony it
should consist of white stones in a thin gold or platinum setting, such
as a pendant, bracelet or pin of pearls and diamonds. If a colored stone
is preferred--and a turquoise, for instance, adds the touch of blue
which is supposed to bring a bride good luck--it should be concealed
inside the dress during the services.
As a memento of the event a groom often presents his ushers with a scarf
pin or watch or cigarette case ornamented with the initials of the bride
and groom, and the bride generally makes a similar present to her
bridesmaids of some dainty piece of jewelry. Whether this takes the form
of a pin, bracelet or one of the novelties that up-to-date jewelers are
always showing, it should be the best of its kind. Imitation stones or
"silver gilt" have no place as wedding gifts.
Wedding Customs.
There is no time in a woman's life when ceremonies seem so important as
when a wedding in the family is imminent. Whether the wedding is to be a
simple home ceremony or an elaborate church affair followed by a
reception, the formalities which etiquette prescribes for these
functions should be carefully studied and followed. Only by doing so can
there be the proper dignity, and above all the absence of confusion that
should mark the most important episode in the life of a man or woman.
Wedding customs have undergone some changes of late years, mostly in the
direction of simplicity. Meaningless display and ostentation should be
avoided, and, if a girl is marrying into a family much better endowed in
worldly goods than her own, she should have no false pride in insisting
on simple festivities and in preventing her family from incurring
expense that they cannot afford. The entire expenses of a wedding, with
the exception of the clergyman's fee and the carriage which takes the
bride and groom away for their honeymoon, are met by the bride's family,
and there is no worse impropriety than in allowing the groom to meet or
share any of these obligations. Rather than allow this a girl would show
more self-respect in choosing to do away with the social side of the
function and be content with the marriage ceremony read by her clergyman
under his own roof.
Invitations and Announcements.
In the case of a private wedding announcement cards should be mailed the
following day to all relatives and acquaintances of both the contracting
parties.
Evening weddings are no longer the custom, and the fashionable hour is
now high noon, although in many cases three o'clock in the afternoon is
the hour chosen. Whether the wedding is to be followed by a reception or
not, the invitations to it should be sent out not less than two weeks
before the event, and these should be promptly accepted or declined by
those receiving them. The acceptance of a wedding invitation by no means
implies that the recipient is obliged to give a present. These are only
expected of relatives and near friends of the bride and groom, and in
all cases the presents should be addressed and sent to the bride, who
should acknowledge them by a prettily worded note of thanks as soon as
the gifts are received or, at the latest, a few days after the marriage
ceremony.
Silver and Linen.
The usual rule followed in the engraving of silver or the marking of
linen is to use the initials of the bride's maiden name. The question of
duplicate gifts is as annoying to the sender as it is to the young
couple who are ultimately to enjoy the gifts. Theoretically, it is bad
form to exchange a gift after it has been received, but, in truth, this
is often done when a great deal of silver is given by close friends or
members of the family it is a comparatively easy matter to find out what
has already been sent and to learn the bride's wishes in this matter.
Prenuptial Functions.
After the wedding invitations are out it is not customary for a girl to
attend any social functions or to be much seen in public. This gives her
the necessary time to devote to the finishing of her trousseau and for
making any necessary arrangements for the new life she is to take up
after the honeymoon is over. Family dinners are quite proper at this
time, and it is expected of her to give a lunch to her bridesmaids. The
wedding presents may be shown at this occasion, but any more public and
general display of them is now rarely indulged in and is, in fact, not
considered in good taste.
The groom, as a prenuptial celebration, is supposed to give a supper to
his intimate bachelor friends and the men who are to act as ushers at
the marriage ceremony. The ushers are generally recruited from the
friends of the groom rather than those of the bride, but if she has a
grown brother he is always asked to act in this capacity. Ushers, like
bridesmaids, are chosen among the unmarried friends of the young couple,
although a matron of honor is often included in the bridal party.
The Bride's Trousseau.
The bride's trousseau should be finished well before the fortnight
preceding the wedding. Fashions change so quickly now that it is rarely
advisable for a bride to provide gowns for more than a season ahead. If
the check her father furnishes her for her trousseau is a generous one
it is a wise provision to put a part of it aside for later use, and in
so doing she has the equivalent of a wardrobe that will last her for a
year or more.
Custom has decreed that the bride's wedding dress shall be of pure
white, and, as the marriage ceremony is a religious one, whether it
takes place in a church or in a private house, that it shall be made
high in the neck and with long sleeves. Orange blossoms, the natural
flowers, form the trimming to the corsage and a coronet to fasten the
veil. A bride's ornaments include only one gift of white
Page 4
jewelry, pearls
or diamonds, from her future husband, and the bouquet he presents her.
So many awkward moments have been occasioned in wedding ceremonies by
removing the glove that brides are dispensing with wearing gloves at
this time. The bride's appearance is by no means affected by this
custom, and the slipping of the ring on the third finger of the left
hand is made simpler and thereby more graceful. The engagement ring,
which up to the time of the wedding ceremony has been worn on this
finger, afterwards serves as a guard for the wedding ring.
The Bridesmaids.
Millinery is a most important question in discussing a wedding, and we
cannot dismiss the question with the gown worn by the bride. A most
serious consideration is what the bridesmaids are to wear, and this is
generally only settled after long and serious consultation with the
bride.
It is generally agreed that all of these gowns shall be made by the same
dressmaker so that they may conform to the colors and styles decided on,
the gown of the maid or matron of honor differing slightly from the
general scheme. At a church wedding bridesmaids wear hats and carry
baskets or bouquets of flowers, but, if bouquets are carried, they
should be quite unlike the one borne by the bride. It is customary for
the bride to give her bridesmaids some souvenir of the occasion, and it
is expected that the groom provide the gloves and ties for the ushers.
Duties of the "Best Man."
The duties of the "best man" are arduous, and it is indeed wise, as it
is general, for a man to ask his best and most devoted friend to serve
in this capacity. The best man is supposed to relieve the groom of all
the details of the ceremony and to take on his shoulders all the worry
incident to its success as a social function. It is he who purchases the
gloves and ties for the other ushers and sees that they are coached in
their duties; he procures the marriage license, if that is necessary,
and has the ring ready for the groom at the critical moment. After the
ceremony he is supposed to hand the clergyman his fee, and at the same
time be in readiness to conduct the line of bridesmaids and ushers to
their carriages. He must be at the bride's home, in case there is a
wedding reception, before the principal actors in the ceremony are
there. It is he who sends the notices of the event to the newspapers,
and, if there is a formal breakfast with speech-making, it is the best
man who proposes the health of the newly-married pair and replies to the
toast in behalf of the bridesmaids. He is the one member of the wedding
party who sees the happy couple off at the station and bids them the
last farewell as they depart on their honeymoon. This is perhaps the
time and moment when his good sense and social tact is the most needed,
The foolish custom of decorating bridal baggage with white ribbon, and
of throwing a superabundance of old shoes and a rain of rice after the
departing pair, may be mitigated by a little care on his part.
MOURNING CUSTOMS.
There has been of late years a healthy revolt against the excessive use
of crepe or the wearing of mourning for an undue period. Mourning is
first of all a protection, for in these busy days and in a large city a
death affecting our acquaintances is not always known to us. If we meet
a friend wearing black we are instantly apprised that she has suffered
the loss of a near member of her family. It is easy to say under such
circumstances, "I am very sorry to see you in black," or "I am afraid I
have not heard of your loss."
For a father or mother full mourning, that is, black unrelieved by any
touch of white, is worn for a year, and at the end of that period half
mourning, consisting first of white with black, and then violet and
gray, is worn for the second year. For a brother or sister or
grandparent black is worn for six months, and then half mourning for the
six months preceding the wearing of ordinary colors. What is called
complimentary mourning, put on at the death of a relative by marriage,
consists of the wearing of black for a period of from six weeks to a
year, depending on the closeness of the personal relationship. For
instance, in the case of the death of a mother-in-law residing in a
distant city, it would only be necessary for a woman to wear black for a
few weeks following the funeral. If, on the other hand, she resides in
the same place and is a great deal in the company of her husband's
family, it would show more tact and affection on her part to refrain
from wearing colors for a longer period.
Crepe is no longer obligatory in even first mourning. Many widows only
wear the crepe-bordered veil hanging from the conventional bonnet for
the funeral services and for a few weeks afterward, when it is replaced
by an ordinary hat and veil of plain black net bordered with thin black
silk. Widows wear neck and cuff bands of unstarched white book muslin,
this being the only sort of white permitted during the first period of
mourning. Young widows, especially those who must lead an active life,
often lighten their mourning during the second year and discard it at
the end of the second year. Of course the conventional period of
mourning for a widow is three years, but, if there should be any
indication that a second marriage is contemplated, black should
gradually be put aside.
However, the discarding of mourning is no indication that a woman is
about to change her name, and the wearing of black is so much a matter
of personal feeling that a woman should not be criticised for curtailing
the conventional period.
In this country it is not the custom for young children to wear
mourning, and with men the wearing of a black band about the hat or on
the left arm is all that is deemed necessary.
A woman wearing full mourning refrains from attending the theater or any
large functions. She may properly be seen at concerts, club meetings or
lectures, and she may receive and visit her friends informally.
ETIQUETTE OF THE VISITING CARD.
The prevailing shape for a woman's card is nearly square (about 2-1/2 by
3 inches), while the correct form for a man's card is slightly smaller.
The color should be pure white with a dull finish, while the engraving,
plain script or more elaborate text, is a matter of choice and fashion
varying from time to time. It is safe to trust the opinion of a
first-class stationer in this matter, for styles fluctuate, and he
should be constantly informed of what polite usage demands.
A woman's card should always bear the prefix "Miss" or "Mrs." There is
no exception to this rule save in the case of women who have regularly
graduated in medicine or theology and who are allowed therefore the use
of "Dr." or "Rev." before the name. "Miss" or "Mrs." should not be used
in addition to either of these titles.
The card of a married woman is engraved with her husband's full name,
such as Mrs. William Eaton Brown, but she has no right to any titles he
may bear. If he is a judge or colonel she is still Mrs. James Eaton
Brown and not Mrs. Judge or Mrs. Colonel Brown.
A widow may with propriety retain the same visiting card that she used
during the lifetime of her husband, especially if she has no grown son
who bears his father's name. In that case she generally has her cards
engraved with a part of her full maiden name before her husband's name,
such as Mrs. Mary Baker Brown. In this country a divorced woman, if she
has children, does
or diamonds, from her future husband, and the bouquet he presents her.
So many awkward moments have been occasioned in wedding ceremonies by
removing the glove that brides are dispensing with wearing gloves at
this time. The bride's appearance is by no means affected by this
custom, and the slipping of the ring on the third finger of the left
hand is made simpler and thereby more graceful. The engagement ring,
which up to the time of the wedding ceremony has been worn on this
finger, afterwards serves as a guard for the wedding ring.
The Bridesmaids.
Millinery is a most important question in discussing a wedding, and we
cannot dismiss the question with the gown worn by the bride. A most
serious consideration is what the bridesmaids are to wear, and this is
generally only settled after long and serious consultation with the
bride.
It is generally agreed that all of these gowns shall be made by the same
dressmaker so that they may conform to the colors and styles decided on,
the gown of the maid or matron of honor differing slightly from the
general scheme. At a church wedding bridesmaids wear hats and carry
baskets or bouquets of flowers, but, if bouquets are carried, they
should be quite unlike the one borne by the bride. It is customary for
the bride to give her bridesmaids some souvenir of the occasion, and it
is expected that the groom provide the gloves and ties for the ushers.
Duties of the "Best Man."
The duties of the "best man" are arduous, and it is indeed wise, as it
is general, for a man to ask his best and most devoted friend to serve
in this capacity. The best man is supposed to relieve the groom of all
the details of the ceremony and to take on his shoulders all the worry
incident to its success as a social function. It is he who purchases the
gloves and ties for the other ushers and sees that they are coached in
their duties; he procures the marriage license, if that is necessary,
and has the ring ready for the groom at the critical moment. After the
ceremony he is supposed to hand the clergyman his fee, and at the same
time be in readiness to conduct the line of bridesmaids and ushers to
their carriages. He must be at the bride's home, in case there is a
wedding reception, before the principal actors in the ceremony are
there. It is he who sends the notices of the event to the newspapers,
and, if there is a formal breakfast with speech-making, it is the best
man who proposes the health of the newly-married pair and replies to the
toast in behalf of the bridesmaids. He is the one member of the wedding
party who sees the happy couple off at the station and bids them the
last farewell as they depart on their honeymoon. This is perhaps the
time and moment when his good sense and social tact is the most needed,
The foolish custom of decorating bridal baggage with white ribbon, and
of throwing a superabundance of old shoes and a rain of rice after the
departing pair, may be mitigated by a little care on his part.
MOURNING CUSTOMS.
There has been of late years a healthy revolt against the excessive use
of crepe or the wearing of mourning for an undue period. Mourning is
first of all a protection, for in these busy days and in a large city a
death affecting our acquaintances is not always known to us. If we meet
a friend wearing black we are instantly apprised that she has suffered
the loss of a near member of her family. It is easy to say under such
circumstances, "I am very sorry to see you in black," or "I am afraid I
have not heard of your loss."
For a father or mother full mourning, that is, black unrelieved by any
touch of white, is worn for a year, and at the end of that period half
mourning, consisting first of white with black, and then violet and
gray, is worn for the second year. For a brother or sister or
grandparent black is worn for six months, and then half mourning for the
six months preceding the wearing of ordinary colors. What is called
complimentary mourning, put on at the death of a relative by marriage,
consists of the wearing of black for a period of from six weeks to a
year, depending on the closeness of the personal relationship. For
instance, in the case of the death of a mother-in-law residing in a
distant city, it would only be necessary for a woman to wear black for a
few weeks following the funeral. If, on the other hand, she resides in
the same place and is a great deal in the company of her husband's
family, it would show more tact and affection on her part to refrain
from wearing colors for a longer period.
Crepe is no longer obligatory in even first mourning. Many widows only
wear the crepe-bordered veil hanging from the conventional bonnet for
the funeral services and for a few weeks afterward, when it is replaced
by an ordinary hat and veil of plain black net bordered with thin black
silk. Widows wear neck and cuff bands of unstarched white book muslin,
this being the only sort of white permitted during the first period of
mourning. Young widows, especially those who must lead an active life,
often lighten their mourning during the second year and discard it at
the end of the second year. Of course the conventional period of
mourning for a widow is three years, but, if there should be any
indication that a second marriage is contemplated, black should
gradually be put aside.
However, the discarding of mourning is no indication that a woman is
about to change her name, and the wearing of black is so much a matter
of personal feeling that a woman should not be criticised for curtailing
the conventional period.
In this country it is not the custom for young children to wear
mourning, and with men the wearing of a black band about the hat or on
the left arm is all that is deemed necessary.
A woman wearing full mourning refrains from attending the theater or any
large functions. She may properly be seen at concerts, club meetings or
lectures, and she may receive and visit her friends informally.
ETIQUETTE OF THE VISITING CARD.
The prevailing shape for a woman's card is nearly square (about 2-1/2 by
3 inches), while the correct form for a man's card is slightly smaller.
The color should be pure white with a dull finish, while the engraving,
plain script or more elaborate text, is a matter of choice and fashion
varying from time to time. It is safe to trust the opinion of a
first-class stationer in this matter, for styles fluctuate, and he
should be constantly informed of what polite usage demands.
A woman's card should always bear the prefix "Miss" or "Mrs." There is
no exception to this rule save in the case of women who have regularly
graduated in medicine or theology and who are allowed therefore the use
of "Dr." or "Rev." before the name. "Miss" or "Mrs." should not be used
in addition to either of these titles.
The card of a married woman is engraved with her husband's full name,
such as Mrs. William Eaton Brown, but she has no right to any titles he
may bear. If he is a judge or colonel she is still Mrs. James Eaton
Brown and not Mrs. Judge or Mrs. Colonel Brown.
A widow may with propriety retain the same visiting card that she used
during the lifetime of her husband, especially if she has no grown son
who bears his father's name. In that case she generally has her cards
engraved with a part of her full maiden name before her husband's name,
such as Mrs. Mary Baker Brown. In this country a divorced woman, if she
has children, does
Page 5
not discard her husband's family name, neither does
she retain his given name. For social purposes she becomes Mrs. Mary
Baker Brown or, if she wishes, Mrs. Baker Brown.
The address is engraved in the lower right corner of the visiting-card,
and, if a woman has any particular day for receiving her friends, that
fact is announced in the lower left corner. As a rule even informal
notes should not be written on a visiting-card, although when a card
accompanies a gift it is quite proper to write "Best wishes" or
"Greetings" on it. This is even done when a card does not accompany a
gift, but it should be borne in mind that a card message should not take
the place of a note of thanks or be used when a more formal letter is
necessary.
A man's visiting-card should bear his full name with the prefix "Mr."
unless he has a military title above the grade of lieutenant or is a
doctor or clergyman. In these cases the proper title should be used in
place of "Mr." Courtesy titles, although they may be common usage in
conversation and a man may be known by them, are best abandoned on the
visiting-card.
During the first year of marriage cards are engraved thus:
Mr. and Mrs. William Eaton Brown
and this card may be used in sending presents, returning wedding
civilities or making calls, even when the bride is not accompanied by
her husband. After the first year these cards are discarded, and husband
and wife have separate visiting-cards.
In some communities it is not the custom for a young girl to make formal
calls without her mother. To meet this requirement the girl's name with
the prefix "Miss" is engraved on her mother's card, below her mother's
name.
It is no longer considered necessary to leave a number of cards at the
same house when calling in person or sending cards. If there are several
women members of the family one card suffices. If a woman wishes to
leave her husband's card she should leave two, one for the mistress and
one for the man of the house. A woman never leaves a card for a man
unless she has called on him on a matter of business and wishes him to
be reminded of the fact.
At a tea or large afternoon reception a card should be left in the hall
as a guest departs, so as to enable the hostess to preserve a record of
those who have called on her. If she is not able to attend she should
send her visiting-card so that it may arrive on the day of the function.
After a dinner or any formal function she should make a personal call or
leave her card in person.
When making an ordinary call it is not necessary to send one's
visiting-card to the hostess by the servant who opens the door.
Pronouncing the name distinctly is sufficient, but, if it is a first
call, and there is danger that the hostess may not be familiar with the
caller's address, it is best to leave a card on the hall table when
leaving, no matter if the hostess herself conducts her visitor to the
door.
When one is invited but unable to attend a church wedding it is
necessary to send, on the day of the ceremony, cards to those who issue
the invitations. An invitation to a wedding reception or breakfast
demands a more formal acceptance sent immediately on receipt of the
invitation and couched in the same manner in which the invitation reads.
A newcomer in town or a young married woman may receive a card from an
older woman indicating her receiving days and hours. This is a polite
invitation to call, and if she is unable to make a call at the time
indicated she should send a card on that day.
Cards of condolence are left as soon as possible after learning of the
affliction. It is not necessary to write anything on the card; in fact,
it is better not to do so, for, if the acquaintance warrants a personal
message, it should take the form of a letter. On the other hand it is
quite proper in felicitating a friend on a happy event, such as the
announcement of an engagement in the family or the arrival of a new
baby, to send a visiting-card with "Congratulations" written on it.
There are times when it seems necessary to send cards to practically all
one's acquaintances, This is wise after a long absence or a change of
residence, and when one is leaving town for a long period it is proper
to send cards with the French expression, "Pour prendre conge."
FORMALITIES IN DRESS AND ETIQUETTE.
"Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy" was old Polonius' advice to his
son, and he counseled suitability as well. It is this question of
suitability that is the hall mark of correct dressing. A safe rule to
follow, especially in the case of a young woman, is not to be
conspicuous in attire and to conform to the standards of dress as set
down by older women of recognized standing in the town in which she
lives and the community in which her social or business life is spent.
A young girl needs little adorning. Her school or college dresses should
be characterized by their neatness, freshness, correctness of cut and
utility rather than by elaborate trimmings or costly materials. Her
party gowns are simpler than those of a girl who has left school, and
she wears less jewelry. At the end of school life, if her parents are
able and willing to give her a coming-out party, she begins her social
career under the pleasantest auspices, and this is the opportunity for
her first elaborate gown.
The Debutante.
The character of this gown depends largely on the nature of the
entertainment given her.
It most commonly takes the form of an afternoon tea or reception to
which her mother invites all of her friends as well as the younger set.
The debutante receives with her mother and wears an elaborate frock of
light material and color, made high in the neck and with elbow sleeves.
Long white gloves are worn, and her hair is more elaborately arranged
than it was during her school-girl period. In fact, she is now a full-
fledged young lady and is dressed accordingly. Such a gown may serve
later as an informal evening gown, or, if it is made with a detachable
yoke, it may be worn as a dancing-frock or for any evening occasion for
which a full evening gown is expected.
The receiving party at an afternoon function generally includes near
relatives of the debutante, and a number of her intimate girl friends
are asked to assist in various ways. These receive with her and her
mother in the early part of the afternoon and later assist at the tea
table or mingle among the guests. The ladies assisting do not wear hats,
and the young girls in the party are gowned much like the debutante,
except that their gowns may be less elaborate if they choose, and they
do not carry flowers.
A popular girl or one with many family connections may count on a good
many floral offerings on the occasion of her coming-out party. These are
scattered about the room, either left in bunches or arranged in vases.
One large bunch she generally carries in her left hand, and it is a wise
girl who avoids singling out anyone of her men friends by carrying his
flowers. A gift from her father or brother or the flowers sent by some
friend of the family is the better choice. The success a girl makes
during her first year in society depends more on her general popularity
than on the devotion of any one man.
Afternoon Reception.
For an afternoon reception light refreshments, consisting of tea,
coffee, chocolate, perhaps a light claret cup, with
she retain his given name. For social purposes she becomes Mrs. Mary
Baker Brown or, if she wishes, Mrs. Baker Brown.
The address is engraved in the lower right corner of the visiting-card,
and, if a woman has any particular day for receiving her friends, that
fact is announced in the lower left corner. As a rule even informal
notes should not be written on a visiting-card, although when a card
accompanies a gift it is quite proper to write "Best wishes" or
"Greetings" on it. This is even done when a card does not accompany a
gift, but it should be borne in mind that a card message should not take
the place of a note of thanks or be used when a more formal letter is
necessary.
A man's visiting-card should bear his full name with the prefix "Mr."
unless he has a military title above the grade of lieutenant or is a
doctor or clergyman. In these cases the proper title should be used in
place of "Mr." Courtesy titles, although they may be common usage in
conversation and a man may be known by them, are best abandoned on the
visiting-card.
During the first year of marriage cards are engraved thus:
Mr. and Mrs. William Eaton Brown
and this card may be used in sending presents, returning wedding
civilities or making calls, even when the bride is not accompanied by
her husband. After the first year these cards are discarded, and husband
and wife have separate visiting-cards.
In some communities it is not the custom for a young girl to make formal
calls without her mother. To meet this requirement the girl's name with
the prefix "Miss" is engraved on her mother's card, below her mother's
name.
It is no longer considered necessary to leave a number of cards at the
same house when calling in person or sending cards. If there are several
women members of the family one card suffices. If a woman wishes to
leave her husband's card she should leave two, one for the mistress and
one for the man of the house. A woman never leaves a card for a man
unless she has called on him on a matter of business and wishes him to
be reminded of the fact.
At a tea or large afternoon reception a card should be left in the hall
as a guest departs, so as to enable the hostess to preserve a record of
those who have called on her. If she is not able to attend she should
send her visiting-card so that it may arrive on the day of the function.
After a dinner or any formal function she should make a personal call or
leave her card in person.
When making an ordinary call it is not necessary to send one's
visiting-card to the hostess by the servant who opens the door.
Pronouncing the name distinctly is sufficient, but, if it is a first
call, and there is danger that the hostess may not be familiar with the
caller's address, it is best to leave a card on the hall table when
leaving, no matter if the hostess herself conducts her visitor to the
door.
When one is invited but unable to attend a church wedding it is
necessary to send, on the day of the ceremony, cards to those who issue
the invitations. An invitation to a wedding reception or breakfast
demands a more formal acceptance sent immediately on receipt of the
invitation and couched in the same manner in which the invitation reads.
A newcomer in town or a young married woman may receive a card from an
older woman indicating her receiving days and hours. This is a polite
invitation to call, and if she is unable to make a call at the time
indicated she should send a card on that day.
Cards of condolence are left as soon as possible after learning of the
affliction. It is not necessary to write anything on the card; in fact,
it is better not to do so, for, if the acquaintance warrants a personal
message, it should take the form of a letter. On the other hand it is
quite proper in felicitating a friend on a happy event, such as the
announcement of an engagement in the family or the arrival of a new
baby, to send a visiting-card with "Congratulations" written on it.
There are times when it seems necessary to send cards to practically all
one's acquaintances, This is wise after a long absence or a change of
residence, and when one is leaving town for a long period it is proper
to send cards with the French expression, "Pour prendre conge."
FORMALITIES IN DRESS AND ETIQUETTE.
"Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy" was old Polonius' advice to his
son, and he counseled suitability as well. It is this question of
suitability that is the hall mark of correct dressing. A safe rule to
follow, especially in the case of a young woman, is not to be
conspicuous in attire and to conform to the standards of dress as set
down by older women of recognized standing in the town in which she
lives and the community in which her social or business life is spent.
A young girl needs little adorning. Her school or college dresses should
be characterized by their neatness, freshness, correctness of cut and
utility rather than by elaborate trimmings or costly materials. Her
party gowns are simpler than those of a girl who has left school, and
she wears less jewelry. At the end of school life, if her parents are
able and willing to give her a coming-out party, she begins her social
career under the pleasantest auspices, and this is the opportunity for
her first elaborate gown.
The Debutante.
The character of this gown depends largely on the nature of the
entertainment given her.
It most commonly takes the form of an afternoon tea or reception to
which her mother invites all of her friends as well as the younger set.
The debutante receives with her mother and wears an elaborate frock of
light material and color, made high in the neck and with elbow sleeves.
Long white gloves are worn, and her hair is more elaborately arranged
than it was during her school-girl period. In fact, she is now a full-
fledged young lady and is dressed accordingly. Such a gown may serve
later as an informal evening gown, or, if it is made with a detachable
yoke, it may be worn as a dancing-frock or for any evening occasion for
which a full evening gown is expected.
The receiving party at an afternoon function generally includes near
relatives of the debutante, and a number of her intimate girl friends
are asked to assist in various ways. These receive with her and her
mother in the early part of the afternoon and later assist at the tea
table or mingle among the guests. The ladies assisting do not wear hats,
and the young girls in the party are gowned much like the debutante,
except that their gowns may be less elaborate if they choose, and they
do not carry flowers.
A popular girl or one with many family connections may count on a good
many floral offerings on the occasion of her coming-out party. These are
scattered about the room, either left in bunches or arranged in vases.
One large bunch she generally carries in her left hand, and it is a wise
girl who avoids singling out anyone of her men friends by carrying his
flowers. A gift from her father or brother or the flowers sent by some
friend of the family is the better choice. The success a girl makes
during her first year in society depends more on her general popularity
than on the devotion of any one man.
Afternoon Reception.
For an afternoon reception light refreshments, consisting of tea,
coffee, chocolate, perhaps a light claret cup, with
Page 6
cakes and delicate
sandwiches, are sufficient, and these are set out on a long table in a
room adjoining the reception parlors.
If a large number of guests are expected it is necessary to have a maid
or two in attendance to remove cups and saucers, keep the tea urn
replenished with hot water and to bring additional cakes and sandwiches
if the supply on the table is in danger of running short. Two women
friends are generally asked to preside at the refreshment table, one at
each end to pour tea and chocolate, and, as this task is an arduous one
and much of the success of the entertainment depends on its being well
done, it is advisable to relieve the ladies in charge during the
afternoon. This, however, like every other feature of the entertainment,
should be arranged beforehand. The charm of an afternoon reception lies
in its apparent informality, but every detail should be considered in
advance and all contingencies provided for. The debutante, and
especially her mother, should be relieved from all such responsibilities
before the guests begin to come.
The mother's duties consist in welcoming her guests and presenting her
daughter to them. If many people are arriving the guests are quickly
passed on to some one of the ladies assisting, whose duty it is to see
that they meet some of those who are already in the room and are
eventually asked to the tea table. A part of the receiving party, and
certainly the hostess and her daughter, should remain together in a
place where they may be easily found as the guests enter the room.
No more sympathetic act of friendship can be shown a debutante than to
contribute toward the success of her party. Girls who are asked to
assist should remember that their first duty is not to entertain their
own friends who may happen to be present, but to see that everyone is
welcome and that especially those who are not acquainted with many in
the room have an opportunity to become so. Anyone asked to assist at a
function of this sort is in a sense a hostess, and it is quite within
her province to enter into conversation with any unoccupied guest
whether she has been introduced or not.
The usual hours for an afternoon tea are from four to six, but in the
case of a coming-out reception the hour is often prolonged to seven so
as to allow more men to be present than would be the case if the time
were restricted to the early afternoon. In these busy days few men are
at liberty to make afternoon calls, and it is always a compliment to a
girl if her tea includes a sprinkling of black coats. Whatever hours are
decided on, they should be engraved on the cards sent out two weeks
before the tea. These are of the form and size of an ordinary
visiting-card and include the daughter's name below that of her
mother's. If she is the eldest unmarried daughter or the only girl in
the family the card reads as follows:
Mrs. Geo. Baker Blank
Miss Blank
December 9, 1911
4 to 7 o'clock
The daughter's given name is only used in case she has an older
unmarried sister.
Ball and Evening Reception.
A more elaborate form of coming-out party consists of a ball or of an
evening reception followed by dancing, and in this case the card
contains the word "Dancing" below the date of the entertainment and the
hours at which it is given. Few homes are large enough to provide for
even a small dance, and so a party of this sort is generally given at a
hotel. The guests as well as the receiving party wear evening gowns
without hats, and men are expected to come in full evening clothes,
which means the long-tailed coats and not the popular Tuxedo, white
gloves, and, although this is not obligatory, white waistcoats.
After a girl has been introduced into society she has her individual
visiting-cards, makes her own calls and is allowed to receive her own
friends. Social customs differ with locality, and the chaperon is less
customary in the West than in the East. In many cities girls are allowed
to go to the theater and to evening parties with a man friend without a
married woman being included in the party. A wise girl, however, is
careful that any man she meets shall be introduced as soon as possible
to some older member of her family and to introduce a young man calling
for the first time to either her mother or father. Also when she accepts
an invitation to an evening's entertainment she insists that her escort
shall call for her at her own home and bring her directly home at the
close of it. Dining or supping at a restaurant alone with a young man is
sure to expose a girl to criticism.
A Woman's Lunch.
There are many pleasant forms of entertainment offered to a young girl
entering society in which men are not included, and the most popular of
these is a woman's lunch. This is a favorite form of entertainment for a
young married woman to give in honor of some girl friend who has just
come out in society or whose engagement has just been announced. One
o'clock or half after is the usual hour, and the meal is served in
courses and is as elaborate as the household resources may allow. The
decorations of the table are important, and three courses are sufficient
if they are carefully arranged. Handsome street costumes are worn for a
function of this sort, and the guest of honor, if there is one, dresses
as the others do. Outer wraps are left in the hall or in a room put
aside for this purpose, and, as a rule, hats are retained and gloves
removed when the guests sit down at table.
The custom of wearing a hat during lunch is not an arbitrary one, and it
is not universal. In France, for example, where social customs are most
carefully observed, it is the custom to wear handsome afternoon gowns if
invited for the noon meal and to remove hats. The noon meal there is a
social function, and certain formalities are observed. In London, on the
contrary, no matter if a number of guests are expected, lunch is an
informal occasion, and women dress for lunch as they would for an
afternoon tea.
Hats are worn and women are prepared to rush off afterwards to meet
other engagements. The English custom prevails now in the large cities
in America, and, moreover, women seem disinclined to remove their hats
after they are once dressed for the round of the day's social
obligations.
It is simpler and really quite conventional to leave the wearing of hats
to the individual. The hostess should ask her guest if she wishes to
take her hat off or retain it, and she can at the same time intimate to
her guest, if she is a stranger in the town, what the others will
probably do in this connection. True hospitality on the part of the
hostess is to make her guests at ease, and true politeness on the part
of the visitor is to conform to the rules governing the community that
she is visiting.
PROPER APPAREL FOR MEN.
American gentlemen are no longer dependent on English tailors or on
English fashions as they were some years ago. The American type of
physique is a distinct one, and London tailors have never been able to
fit American men as well as they do their own clients. Moreover social
life is so different in the United States from what it is in England
that men really need different clothes.
Practically all American
sandwiches, are sufficient, and these are set out on a long table in a
room adjoining the reception parlors.
If a large number of guests are expected it is necessary to have a maid
or two in attendance to remove cups and saucers, keep the tea urn
replenished with hot water and to bring additional cakes and sandwiches
if the supply on the table is in danger of running short. Two women
friends are generally asked to preside at the refreshment table, one at
each end to pour tea and chocolate, and, as this task is an arduous one
and much of the success of the entertainment depends on its being well
done, it is advisable to relieve the ladies in charge during the
afternoon. This, however, like every other feature of the entertainment,
should be arranged beforehand. The charm of an afternoon reception lies
in its apparent informality, but every detail should be considered in
advance and all contingencies provided for. The debutante, and
especially her mother, should be relieved from all such responsibilities
before the guests begin to come.
The mother's duties consist in welcoming her guests and presenting her
daughter to them. If many people are arriving the guests are quickly
passed on to some one of the ladies assisting, whose duty it is to see
that they meet some of those who are already in the room and are
eventually asked to the tea table. A part of the receiving party, and
certainly the hostess and her daughter, should remain together in a
place where they may be easily found as the guests enter the room.
No more sympathetic act of friendship can be shown a debutante than to
contribute toward the success of her party. Girls who are asked to
assist should remember that their first duty is not to entertain their
own friends who may happen to be present, but to see that everyone is
welcome and that especially those who are not acquainted with many in
the room have an opportunity to become so. Anyone asked to assist at a
function of this sort is in a sense a hostess, and it is quite within
her province to enter into conversation with any unoccupied guest
whether she has been introduced or not.
The usual hours for an afternoon tea are from four to six, but in the
case of a coming-out reception the hour is often prolonged to seven so
as to allow more men to be present than would be the case if the time
were restricted to the early afternoon. In these busy days few men are
at liberty to make afternoon calls, and it is always a compliment to a
girl if her tea includes a sprinkling of black coats. Whatever hours are
decided on, they should be engraved on the cards sent out two weeks
before the tea. These are of the form and size of an ordinary
visiting-card and include the daughter's name below that of her
mother's. If she is the eldest unmarried daughter or the only girl in
the family the card reads as follows:
Mrs. Geo. Baker Blank
Miss Blank
December 9, 1911
4 to 7 o'clock
The daughter's given name is only used in case she has an older
unmarried sister.
Ball and Evening Reception.
A more elaborate form of coming-out party consists of a ball or of an
evening reception followed by dancing, and in this case the card
contains the word "Dancing" below the date of the entertainment and the
hours at which it is given. Few homes are large enough to provide for
even a small dance, and so a party of this sort is generally given at a
hotel. The guests as well as the receiving party wear evening gowns
without hats, and men are expected to come in full evening clothes,
which means the long-tailed coats and not the popular Tuxedo, white
gloves, and, although this is not obligatory, white waistcoats.
After a girl has been introduced into society she has her individual
visiting-cards, makes her own calls and is allowed to receive her own
friends. Social customs differ with locality, and the chaperon is less
customary in the West than in the East. In many cities girls are allowed
to go to the theater and to evening parties with a man friend without a
married woman being included in the party. A wise girl, however, is
careful that any man she meets shall be introduced as soon as possible
to some older member of her family and to introduce a young man calling
for the first time to either her mother or father. Also when she accepts
an invitation to an evening's entertainment she insists that her escort
shall call for her at her own home and bring her directly home at the
close of it. Dining or supping at a restaurant alone with a young man is
sure to expose a girl to criticism.
A Woman's Lunch.
There are many pleasant forms of entertainment offered to a young girl
entering society in which men are not included, and the most popular of
these is a woman's lunch. This is a favorite form of entertainment for a
young married woman to give in honor of some girl friend who has just
come out in society or whose engagement has just been announced. One
o'clock or half after is the usual hour, and the meal is served in
courses and is as elaborate as the household resources may allow. The
decorations of the table are important, and three courses are sufficient
if they are carefully arranged. Handsome street costumes are worn for a
function of this sort, and the guest of honor, if there is one, dresses
as the others do. Outer wraps are left in the hall or in a room put
aside for this purpose, and, as a rule, hats are retained and gloves
removed when the guests sit down at table.
The custom of wearing a hat during lunch is not an arbitrary one, and it
is not universal. In France, for example, where social customs are most
carefully observed, it is the custom to wear handsome afternoon gowns if
invited for the noon meal and to remove hats. The noon meal there is a
social function, and certain formalities are observed. In London, on the
contrary, no matter if a number of guests are expected, lunch is an
informal occasion, and women dress for lunch as they would for an
afternoon tea.
Hats are worn and women are prepared to rush off afterwards to meet
other engagements. The English custom prevails now in the large cities
in America, and, moreover, women seem disinclined to remove their hats
after they are once dressed for the round of the day's social
obligations.
It is simpler and really quite conventional to leave the wearing of hats
to the individual. The hostess should ask her guest if she wishes to
take her hat off or retain it, and she can at the same time intimate to
her guest, if she is a stranger in the town, what the others will
probably do in this connection. True hospitality on the part of the
hostess is to make her guests at ease, and true politeness on the part
of the visitor is to conform to the rules governing the community that
she is visiting.
PROPER APPAREL FOR MEN.
American gentlemen are no longer dependent on English tailors or on
English fashions as they were some years ago. The American type of
physique is a distinct one, and London tailors have never been able to
fit American men as well as they do their own clients. Moreover social
life is so different in the United States from what it is in England
that men really need different clothes.
Practically all American
Page 7
men are business men for the working hours of
the day, and few of them have any time or inclination for anything save
business clothes while daylight lasts. For dinner or for the evening
what are generally called evening clothes are permissible, and in fact
obligatory in large cities for anything beyond the most informal home
functions.
For the evening there is the informal and formal dress suit. The former
consists of the long-tailed coat worn with either a white or black
waistcoat. For a dancing party or formal dinner the white waistcoat is
generally preferred, and, if it is worn, it must be accompanied by a
white lawn tie. A made-up bow is considered incorrect. The
accompaniments to a suit of this sort are patent-leather shoes and white
kid gloves if dancing is a part of the evening programme.
The informal evening suit includes the shorter dinner jacket or Tuxedo,
as it was formerly called, and, strictly speaking, this is only
considered proper for the club or for parties where ladies are not
expected to be present. However, men who commonly dress for dinner in
the home circle generally prefer the dinner jacket to the long coat, and
well-dressed men are often seen wearing it at small dinner parties, at
the theater or at any informal evening event. This coat is always worn
with a black tie and waistcoat, and it is not a suitable apparel for a
dance or any large formal evening affair.
The correct dress for a daytime wedding is a black frock coat with light
trousers, light fancy waistcoat and gray gloves and gray Ascot or
four-in-hand tie, and the frock coat with black waistcoat proper for
church or when making afternoon calls. Many young men are adopting for
afternoon wear the English morning suit, which consists of a cutaway
coat with trousers and waistcoat to match and made of some other color
save black.
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.
the day, and few of them have any time or inclination for anything save
business clothes while daylight lasts. For dinner or for the evening
what are generally called evening clothes are permissible, and in fact
obligatory in large cities for anything beyond the most informal home
functions.
For the evening there is the informal and formal dress suit. The former
consists of the long-tailed coat worn with either a white or black
waistcoat. For a dancing party or formal dinner the white waistcoat is
generally preferred, and, if it is worn, it must be accompanied by a
white lawn tie. A made-up bow is considered incorrect. The
accompaniments to a suit of this sort are patent-leather shoes and white
kid gloves if dancing is a part of the evening programme.
The informal evening suit includes the shorter dinner jacket or Tuxedo,
as it was formerly called, and, strictly speaking, this is only
considered proper for the club or for parties where ladies are not
expected to be present. However, men who commonly dress for dinner in
the home circle generally prefer the dinner jacket to the long coat, and
well-dressed men are often seen wearing it at small dinner parties, at
the theater or at any informal evening event. This coat is always worn
with a black tie and waistcoat, and it is not a suitable apparel for a
dance or any large formal evening affair.
The correct dress for a daytime wedding is a black frock coat with light
trousers, light fancy waistcoat and gray gloves and gray Ascot or
four-in-hand tie, and the frock coat with black waistcoat proper for
church or when making afternoon calls. Many young men are adopting for
afternoon wear the English morning suit, which consists of a cutaway
coat with trousers and waistcoat to match and made of some other color
save black.
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.