TOASTER'S HANDBOOK
JOKES, STORIES, AND QUOTATIONS
Compiled by
PEGGY EDMUND
and
HAROLD WORKMAN WILLIAMS
Introductions by
MARY KATHARINE REELY
1916
CONTENTS
PREFACE
ON THE POSSESSION OF A SENSE OF HUMOR
TOASTERS, TOASTMASTERS AND TOASTS
TOASTER'S HANDBOOK
ABILITY
ABOLITION
ABSENT-MINDEDNESS
ACCIDENTS
ACTING
ACTORS AND ACTRESSES
ADAPTATION
ADDRESSES
ADVERTISING
ADVICE
AERONAUTICS
AEROPLANES
AFTER DINNER SPEECHES
AGE
AGENTS
AGRICULTURE
ALARM CLOCKS
ALERTNESS
ALIBI
ALIMONY
ALLOWANCES
ALTERNATIVES
ALTRUISM
AMBITION
AMERICAN GIRL
AMERICANS
AMUSEMENTS
ANATOMY
ANCESTRY
ANGER
ANNIVERSARIES
ANTIDOTES
APPEARANCES
APPLAUSE
ARBITRATION INTERNATIONAL
ARITHMETIC
ARMIES
ARMY RATIONS
ART
ATHLETES
ATTENTION
AUTHORS
AUTOMOBILES
AUTOMOBILING
AVIATION
AVIATORS
BABIES
BACCALAUREATE SERMONS
BACTERIA
BADGES
BAGGAGE
BALDNESS
BANKS AND BANKING
BAPTISM
BAPTISTS
BARGAINS
BASEBALL
BATHS AND BATHING
BAZARS
BEARDS
BEAUTY
BEAUTY, PERSONAL
BEDS
BEER
BEES
BEETLES
BEGGING
BETTING
BIBLE INTERPRETATION
BIGAMY
BILLS
BIRTHDAYS
BLUFFING
BLUNDERS
BOASTING
BONANZAS
BOOKKEEPING
BOOKS AND READING
BOOKSELLERS AND BOOKSELLING
BOOKWORMS
BOOMERANGS
BORES
BORROWERS
BOSSES
BOXING
BOYS
BREAKFAST FOODS
BREATH
BREVITY
BRIBERY
BRIDES
BRIDGE WHIST
BROOKLYN
BRYAN, WILLIAM JENNINGS
BUILDINGS
BURGLARS
BUSINESS
BUSINESS ENTERPRISE
BUSINESS ETHICS
BUSINESS WOMEN
CAMPAIGNS
CAMPING
CANDIDATES
CANNING AND PRESERVING
CAPITALISTS
CAREFULNESS
CARPENTERS
CARVING
CASTE
CATS
CAUSE AND EFFECT
CAUTION
CHAMPAGNE
CHARACTER
CHARITY
CHICAGO
CHICKEN STEALING
CHILD LABOR
CHILDREN
CHOICES
CHOIRS
CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS
CHRISTIANS
CHRISTMAS GIFTS
CHRONOLOGY
CHURCH ATTENDANCE
CHURCH DISCIPLINE
CIRCUS
CIVILIZATION
CLERGY
CLIMATE
CLOTHING
CLUBS
COAL DEALERS
COEDUCATION
COFFEE
COINS
COLLECTING OF ACCOUNTS
COLLECTORS AND COLLECTING
COLLEGE GRADUATES
COLLEGE STUDENTS
COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES
COMMON SENSE
COMMUTERS
COMPARISONS
COMPENSATION
COMPETITION
COMPLIMENTS
COMPOSERS
COMPROMISES
CONFESSIONS
CONGRESS
CONGRESSMEN
CONSCIENCE
CONSEQUENCES
CONSIDERATION
CONSTANCY
CONTRIBUTION BOX
CONUNDRUMS
CONVERSATION
COOKERY
COOKS
CORNETS
CORNS
CORPULENCE
COSMOPOLITANISM
COST OF LIVING
COUNTRY LIFE
COURAGE
COURTESY
COURTS
COURTSHIP
COWARDS
CRITICISM
CRUELTY
CUCUMBERS
CULTURE
CURFEW
CURIOSITY
CYCLONES
DACHSHUNDS
DAMAGES
DANCING
DEAD BEATS
DEBTS
DEER
DEGREES
DEMOCRACY
DEMOCRATIC PARTY
DENTISTRY
DENTISTS
DESCRIPTION
DESIGN, DECORATIVE
DESTINATION
DETAILS
DETECTIVES
DETERMINATION
DIAGNOSIS
DIET
DILEMMAS
DINING
DIPLOMACY
DISCIPLINE
DISCOUNTS
DISCRETION
DISPOSITION
DISTANCES
DIVORCE
DOGS
DOMESTIC FINANCE
DOMESTIC RELATIONS
DRAMA
DRAMATIC CRITICISM
DRAMATISTS
DRESSMAKERS
DRINKING
DROUGHTS
DRUNKARDS
ECHOES
ECONOMY
EDITORS
EDUCATION
EFFICIENCY
EGOTISM
ELECTIONS
ELECTRICITY
EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS
EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYEES
ENEMIES
ENGLAND
ENGLISH LANGUAGE
ENGLISHMEN
ENTHUSIASM
EPITAPHS
EPITHETS
EQUALITY
ERMINE
ESCAPES
ETHICS
ETIQUET
EUROPEAN WAR
EVIDENCE
EXAMINATIONS
EXCUSES
EXPOSURE
EXTORTION
EXTRAVAGANCE
FAILURES
FAITH
FAITHFULNESS
FAME
FAMILIES
FAREWELLS
FASHION
FATE
FATHERS
FAULTS
FEES
FEET
FIGHTING
FINANCE
FINGER-BOWLS
FIRE DEPARTMENTS
FIRES
FIRST AID IN ILLNESS AND INJURY
FISH
FISHERMEN
FISHING
FLATS
FLATTERY
FLIES
FLIRTATION
FLOWERS
FOOD
FOOTBALL
FORDS
FORECASTING
FORESIGHT
FORGETFULNESS
FORTUNE HUNTERS
FOUNTAIN PENS
FOURTH OF JULY
FREAKS
FREE THOUGHT
FRENCH LANGUAGE
FRESHMEN
FRIENDS
FRIENDS, SOCIETY OF
FRIENDSHIP
FUN
FUNERALS
FURNITURE
FUTURE LIFE
GARDENING
GAS STOVES
GENEROSITY
GENTLEMEN
GERMANS
GHOSTS
GIFTS
GLUTTONY
GOLF
GOOD FELLOWSHIP
GOSSIP
GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP
GOVERNORS
GRAFT
GRATITUDE
GRIEF
GUARANTEES
GUESTS
HABIT
HADES
HAPPINESS
HARNESSING
HARVARD UNIVERSITY
HASH
HASTE
HEALTH RESORTS
HEARING
HEAVEN
HEIRLOOMS
HELL
HEREDITY
HEROES
HINTING
HOME
HOMELINESS
HOMESTEADS
HONESTY
HONOR
HOPE
HORSES
HOSPITALITY
HOSTS
HOTELS
HUNGER
HUNTING
HURRY
HUSBANDS
HYBRIDIZATION
HYPERBOLE
HYPOCRISY
IDEALS
ILLUSIONS AND HALLUCINATIONS
IMAGINATION
IMITATION
INFANTS
INQUISITIVENESS
INSANITY
INSPIRATIONS
INSTALMENT PLAN
INSTRUCTIONS
INSURANCE BLANKS
INSURGENTS
INTERVIEWS
INVITATIONS