class="c10">O Mount! O view! thy beauties now I can no
Longer tell,
For, after breakfast, I must say—O Katskill!
Fare thee well!
And leave thee—in one of those abominable stages,
"which I wish it"
Was in H------eaven!

Extraordinary Ledger-demain.

The Soldiers' Monument at Cambridge is the result of the combined efforts of CYRUS and DARIUS COBB, whereas, SYLVANUS, alone and unassisted, is able to raise, every week, a tall column on the surface of the N.Y. Ledger.

Censor of the Press.

The unfortunate official who sought reliable information, the other day, respecting the age and immense property possessions of PUNCHINELLO, on comparing his notes subsequently, remarked to a friend that he felt as if he had temporarily lost his Census.

Appropriate.

DANA, of the Sun, is about to open an undertaker's establishment for the arrangement of murderer's obsequies. Motto—"Pinking done here."

The Wrong Mouth.

A LITTLE Fourth-of-Julyer in Pittsburgh, going along with his mouth open, (after the manner of boys), caught a fire-cracker therein, just as the cracker was going off. He had often had crackers in his mouth, but preceding ones had proved nourishing and non-explosive; whereas, this cracker was quite the reverse. As a consequence, the boy has lost his voice, but (what is curious, certainly,) is otherwise all sound.

Were we certain that heaving a fire-cracker into an open mouth would always produce such a result, we should certainly hire some one to shut up the noisier of our public nuisances—such as G.F. TRAIN, and several members of Congress. This could be easily done, as their mouths are always open, and usually are very large ones. We invite proposals from boys, relating to next season's operations.

Theft Extraordinary.

A weekly journal gravely informs a correspondent that "the line, 'A thing of beauty is a joy forever,' occurs in TUPPER's Proverbial Philosophy."

Shades of the poets! More than fifty years ago, JOHN KEATS commenced a poem called "Endymion," with that very line. To think that he should have gone and borrowed it from TUPPER!

Politician's Plant.

See WEED.

THE LATEST MELODRAMATIC DODGE OF A PLAYED-OUT POLITICIAN.

PROMPTER DANA, OF THE "SUN," GIVES THE CUE TO A REAL SKELETON.

Conversion of the "Sun."

It was said of Bishop COLENSO that he "undertook to convert a Zulu Kaffir, but the Z. K. converted him."

Such a circumstance may be fallen upon without going so far as Africa to seek for it. JOHN ALLEN, of Water Street, was, once upon a time, the Zulu Kaffir of DANA of the Sun and his fascinating Satellite, OLIVER DYER.

The ways of JOHN ALLEN were very wicked when these pious missionaries threw themselves upon his trail, and tried to convert him. Perhaps the reformatory effort was well meant; but, alas! for the feebleness of all human arrangements—JOHN ALLEN remains the reprobate he was, while he to his flock has brought DANA, the Sun man, and DYER, the Satellite man, converts to the Allenian theory that money made from dirt is the only healthful stimulant to virtuous toil.

And so it was that DANA the devout, and DYER the saintly, went forth to convert the Zulu Kaffir of Water Street, and the Z. F. converted them.

Ready for Another Heat.

The horses of PHOEBUS.

A Royal Game.

The ex-queen of Spain fears that ALFONSO will be "euchred." She remarked to him recently, Play you're king.

CONTEMPORARY SENTIMENTS,

On the Great War Question.

The Aldermen to their Dinner.

Gorge us!

HIRAM GREEN AT THE FEMALE CONVENTION.

The Cardiff Giant and other Fossils at Saratoga.

The wolves in sheeps clothin' convenshed agin for an annual rippin' up of things, at Saratogy.

The undersined, in custody of the undersined's wife, who is a Hicockalormn of the Skeensboro Sore-eye-sisses, was present at the singin' of the above selection from the defunct bard.

Male and femail wimmen was there dressed emblamatical of their callin'.

SOOZAN B. ANTHENY was scrumpshusly ragged out in broad-cloth.

A turkish towellin' vest-pattent lether butes and silk hat, completed her Toot in cymbals.

ERNEST L. ROZE wore a nobby scotch cassimer soot. She carried a cane and wore her hair parted in the middle.

Mrs. RUBE PHENTON—MARTHY WRITE—O'LIMPING BROWN—SARY FILLEO—Mrs. DEXTER NOLTON—LILLY DEVERS BLAKE—SARY HALLEK—FEBEE CAREY, and other prominent Fireside agitaters and Herthstun depopulaters, were becominly araid, and did gustise to their tailors.

PHREDRICK DOUGLIS, a firey broonet from Rochester, looked bewitchin' in a more anteek silk dress.

A camels hair overskirt hung grasefully over his loins. Peepin' out from beneath his robes, was a delicate little foot, encased in a flesh cullered pair of No. 11 buckskin mocasins.

His hair was done up in a 2 bushel waterfall, and was frizzled all over, a lar Ethiope.

EDWIN A. STUDWELL, of Brooklyn, looked stunnin' in a granny Dean walkin' dress and red cotton umbreller.

His back hair was tempestously arranged.

A couple of bolony sassiges, in a hily chawed up state, hung pendent from the aft of his gorgeous waterfall, and dangled to his heels, a lar cheapee John,

"When approached by that great captivater of susseptible hearts (?) SOOZAN B. ANTHENY, ED blushed like a red-headed woodpecker, and hid his modesty behind a $4.00 palm leaf fan.

STEVE GRISWOLD, DAN KETCHAM and a few other manikins, was dressed accordin' to the prevailin' fashions of the feminin sects.

A good cleen shave would have completed their disgize, and folks woulden't have had a suspicion but what they was what they was actin' to be.

I was shocked to hear one audacious retch remark:

"Them chaps look like a lot of hen-peckt broken furniture."

SOOZAN B. was elected chairman.

On takin' her seat she said:

"My femail friends by birth, and my femail friends by brevet;"

"We have convenshed for the purpuss of having our rites redressed----"

A voice: "Haden't you better go home and redress yourselves first?"

The whole convention was onto their feet in a second, while the chairman fell into her seet and regained her composure, by takin' a good helthy pinch of scotch snuff.

Quiet bein' restored, a Mrs. GAGE riz to her feet, and, removin' a chew of tobacker from her mouth, read the follerin' resolutions:

Whereas: 2 National Wimmen's Suffrage Circus are industrously plyin' their vocation.

Whereas: A effort is afoot to jine 'em together under the same tent.

Now be it resolved: We don't perceeve it in them sunbeams. The New York State Suffrage Circus is able to paddle her own stone bote. Bosting to the contrary not-with-out-standin'-up.

Resolved finally: We is the original JACOBS, and if Bosting don't like the cut of our Jib, let her lump it.

(Grate applaws.)

A strange lookin' woman, who wore a swaller tail cote, red the follerin resolutions:

Whereas: Woman has a spear, it hain't to cook vittles—darn stockin's—tend baby and try to make her husbin happy.

Whereas: Man is a brute—woman an angle. Man can vote—woman can't.

Resolved: That as long as man won't give us the ballit, that after Jan., 1871, every mail brat that comes squawkin' into the world, be smothered the minnit he is borned.

Resolved: That when the mail rase is extinguished, the superior critter, woman, take peaceable possession of the ballit box.

These resolutions was vociferously cheered, Mrs. GREEN becomin' so exsited that she whacked me over the head with her parasol in a most ongentlemanly manner.

(N.B.—I would heer state that I'me a Resistanter agin femail suffrage.

Give woman the 16th Commendment and we can cry "peece" ontil our wind-pipes are collored, but not a darned bit of peece will we git, except occashunly a peece is nockt off of our snoot, for refusin' to get up early Monday mornin's to do the washin'.)

At the above juncture of the proceedin's, the Cardiff Jiant, who is spendin' the summer at this selebrated waterin' place, entered the room.

The old feller had heard of this grate Fossil Convenshun.

As the distinguished fraud entered the room, cheers filled the air.

Members in exstasy jumped up onto the benches—stood on their heads—threw their false teeth all about the floor, and acted like a lot of Rocky Mountain injuns, chock full of New England rum.

Silents was restored by tossin' a live man to the exsited Amazons, whom they tore to peeces, partly satisfyin' their cravin' appetites.

Old GIPSUM then oratoricised as viz.:

"Feller Fossils: This is indeed the most momentous event I've attended since I left Onondagar.

"When COTTON MATHER came over in the Grate Eastern, he sent out a dove to see if the Pilgrims, would allow her to pick any flowers off of Plymouth Rock.

"What was the result of that experiment?

"Why, the dove coulden't find any rest for the soul of her shoo; for Plymouth Rocks were thicker than Cardiff Jiants. That base man, BARNUM, had taken plaster casts of the old rock, and there wasen't a town along the coast, but what had its 'original Plymouth Rock.'

"The dove, not bein' a good judge of genuine stuns, made her "Shoo fly" back to the old ark, and told her tail. Therefore, I ask as a personal favor, seein' that BARNUM sarved me same's he did old Plymouth Rock, that when this august assemblage of Fossilized human bein's comes down onto the mail portion of the U. States, old P.T. be turned over to us. I'le make him think he's got straddle his wooly hoss, and an army of mermades was after him with red hot pitchforks.

"Grant me this favor, and when the fite of the Amazons begins, you can count on me to hold your bonnets."

Amid tremenjus applaus old Fort Dodger squatted.

Letters were then read from the Cohoes Mastodon—ARTEMAS WARD'S wax figgers—the wooly hoss—a miselaneous lot of Egipshun Mummies, and THEODOR TILTIN—regrettin' their inability to attend the Fossil Convention.

HORRIS GREELY was then anathemized, BEN BUTLER—Senator WILSON—and GEO. FRANCIS TRAIN Ulogized.

Resolutions were offered that Congressman MORRISEY be pulverized, by some talented femail startin' a opposition club house, employin' none but Tigers of the gentle sects.

After a few more summer complaint speeches agin that Horrible! Bloodthirsty! 2 legged Monkster, MAN!! the annual Hen convention of Antideluvian Fossils tide up their bonnet strings—took their husbans under their off arm—walked down to Congress Spring.

The witches who dipp up the mineral fluid danced about the cauldron, while the President of the company spyin' the Femails approachin' remarked:

The above, Friend PUNCHINELLO, was as seen by,

Ewers faithfully,

HIRAM GREEN,

Lait Gustise of the Peece.

Birds of Passage.

The African ostrich is sometimes trained to carry passengers on his back, but the player of "our national game" is often seen "going out on a Foul."

A VERY NECESSARY PRECAUTION

BLOCKS AND BLOCKHEADS.

Mr. Punchinello: As the acknowledged redresser of American wrongs and the enemy of public nuisances, we beg your attention to a vice which seems to be upon the increase, and which grows in strength with what it feeds upon. As the vice in question appears to be upon the increase, and to fascinate its victims by the allurements of the excitement, we consider it worthy of PUNCHINELLO'S lance, or, in other words, of being transfixed upon PUNCHINELLO'S quill.

We refer