women. And why not? The women are wise in thus preparing themselves for proficiency in the arts of primary elections, ballot stuffing and the rest, incidental to untrammelled suffrage.

In regard to this, also, it may not be amiss to suggest that this passion for match-making lies at the bottom of the recent increase in divorce, which so alarms some timid moralists. Certain it is that easy divorce enlarges the opportunities for its gratification, and to be "fancy" and "free" is no longer a charm peculiar only to "maiden meditation."

HISTORY FACTORY.

Card to the Public.

The undersigned, having recently increased their facilities for the manufacture of History upon an unusually large scale, would hereby announce to their patrons and the public in general that they have associated with them Messrs. VICTOR EMANUEL and General TROCHU.

LOUIS NAPOLEON,
M. BISMARCK,
WM. O'PRUSSIA,

Commercial.

A proof of the present great depression in the Whaling business is the fact that the editor of the Sun still walks about unflogged.

HORSE-CAR AMENITIES.

Conductor. "Wanted to get off, did you?—Then why in thunder didn't you say so?"

THE CHOICE OF PARIS (IN AMERICA.)

"NOTHING LIKE LEATHER."

Freedom of action is one of the greatest boons enjoyed by mankind in modern days. Its rate of progress is encouraging, especially since the Liberal Club of this city has taken it under its protection. It is a very significant association, is the Liberal Club; rather iconoclastic, to be sure, but only a little ahead of the times, perhaps, in that respect; Some of our cherished forms of speech have already been rendered obsolete by the Liberal Club. It used to be such a clincher to say, when one wanted to enforce a point by indicating an impossibility, "I will eat my boots unless"—etc., etc. That clincher has gone to the place whither good clinchers go, forever. At a late meeting of the Liberal Club, Professor VAN DER WEYDE contributed to the evening collation a pudding made of an old boot. The pudding was garnished with the wooden pegs that had kept the boot together, sole and body, while it walked the earth. The boot-jack with which the original source of the pudding used to be pulled off was also exhibited, and excited great interest. It is the intention, of the Professor to subject this implement to some process by which it will be resolved into farina, or sawdust, and then to make a Jack Pudding of it. Many of the ladies and gentlemen present partook of the boot pudding, and pronounced it excellent. One lady, (a member of Sorosis, we believe,) said that she thought it tasted like a pear. The Professor assured her, however, that he had used but one boot in making it, not a pair. Altogether, the pudding was a success. Freedom of action had been vindicated, and the absurd prejudice that had hitherto prevented men from utilizing their old boots as food, except in extreme cases, was shattered with one blow.

PANOPLY FOR OUR POLICE.

PUNCHINELLO felicitates the Municipal Police Force on the magnificent new shields with which the manly breasts of its members are decorated. Nevertheless, PUNCHINELLO considers it sheer mockery to call that a shield by which nothing is shielded. A buckle might as well be called a buckler as the policeman's badge a shield. Already our noble skirmishers of the side-walk are fully provided for the offensive, and, considering the risks run by them from the roughs, the toughs and the gruffs, it is high time that they were furnished with something in the defensive line. Curb-chain undershirts have been suggested, but an objection to their use is that links of them are apt to be carried into the interior anatomy by pistol bullets, thus introducing a surplus of iron into the blood,—an accession which is apt to steel the heart of the officer thus experimented on, and so render him deaf to the cries of innocence in distress. PUNCHINELLO suggests, then, that the policeman's shield should be a shield. Let it be made sufficiently large to cover the most vulnerable portion of the person, as shown in the annexed design. If made of gong-metal, so much the better, as the wearer could then ring out signals upon it with his locust far more effectively than by the present ridiculous mode of beating up rowdydow upon the flag-stones. Although our gallant Municipal Blue is never backward in facing danger, yet it might be judicious for him to wear a shield upon his back as well as upon his front, because it is just possible that, in case of a row, his large, heavy boots might be conveying him away in a direction diametrically opposite to the spot at which the shooting was going on.

AGGRAVATING. Sidewalk Merchant. "BUY A BUNDLE OF TOOTHPICKS, BOSS—ONLY THREE CENTS." Old Gent. "TOOTHPICKS?—WHY, I'VE JUST BIN AND HAD MY LAST TOOTH OUT!"

"THE PRINTING HOUSE OF THE UNITED STATES" AND "THE UNITED STATES ENVELOPE MANUFACTORY." GEORGE F. NESBITT & CO 163,165,167,169 Pearl St., & 73,75,77,79 Pine St., New-York. Execute all kinds of PRINTING, Furnish all kinds of STATIONERY, Make all kinds of BLANK BOOKS,  Execute the finest styles of LITHOGRAPHY Makes the Best and Cheapest ENVELOPES Ever offered to the Public. They have made all the pre-paid Envelopes for the United States Post-Office Department for the past 16 years, and have INVARIABLY BEEN THE LOWEST BIDDERS. Their Machinery is the most complete, rapid and economical known in the trade.

Travelers West and South-West Should bear in mind that the ERIE RAILWAY IS BY FAR THE CHEAPEST, QUICKEST, AND MOST COMFORTABLE ROUTE, Making Direct and Sure Connection at CINCINNATI, with all Lines By Rail or River For NEW ORLEANS, LOUISVILLE, MEMPHIS, ST. LOUIS, VICKSBURG, NASHVILLE, MOBILE, And All