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قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, April 16, 1919
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
locally, as it is feared that this is an indication that the rodents on the isle have embraced Bolshevism.
The correspondent who, as reported in these columns, noticed a pair of labourers building within a stone's-throw of Catford Bridge, now writes to say that a foundation stone has been laid.
Philanthropists are warned against a beggar who is going about saying that, when wounded in France, he was so full of bullets that they took him back to the Base in an ammunition wagon instead of an ambulance.
The reported decision of the Sinn Fein Executive, that policemen shall only be shot at on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, has definitely eased a situation which it was feared could only be coped with by arresting the instigators of such crimes.
In a recent suit for alimony a wealthy New Yorker complained that his wife used a diamond-studded watch for a golf tee. If she had only wasted the money on a new ball he would never have complained.
Experiments in rat-killing, says a news item, are being carried out at the Zoo. At the time of writing the reticulated python is said to be leading the whale-headed stork by a matter of three rats.
Husband (just arrived home). "WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF?"
Wife, "ONLY THE COAL-MAN'S BEEN AT LAST, AND I SIMPLY COULDN'T RESIST GIVING THE DEAR MAN A KISS!"
From the report of a breach of promise case:—
"The engagement came about through a chance meeting in Richmond Park in the summer of 117."—Daily Herald.
Despite the happy case of Jacob and Rachel, we never have approved of these long engagements.
A PAYING GAME.
When Belgium lay beneath your heel
To prove the law that Might is Right,
And Innocence, without appeal,
Must serve your scheme of Schrecklichkeit,
"Justice," we said, "abides her day
And she shall set her balance true;
Methods like yours can never pay."
"Can't they?" you cried; "they can—and do!"
And now full circle comes the wheel,
And, prone across the knees of Fate,
You are to hear, without appeal,
The final terms that we dictate;
And, when you whine (the German way)
On presentation of the bill:
"Ach, Himmel! we can never pay,"
"Can't you?" we'll cry; "you can—and will!"
O.S.
THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF PEACE.
I'm not out of the Army yet, but lately I was home on leave. At a time like that you don't really care about being demobilised just yet. After all, to earn—or let us say to be paid—several pounds for a fortnight's luxurious idleness is a far, far better thing than to receive about the same number of shillings for a like period of unremitting toil. There you have an indication of the financial prospects of my civvy career. None the less, to me in Blighty the future looked as rosy as a robin's breast, and life was immensely satisfactory. I deemed that I was capable of saying "Ha, ha" among the captains (though myself only boasting two pips). Then one day, in the lane that leads to the downs, I met Woggles.
I've known Woggles for years and years. Some time ago she became a V.A.D. and began to drive an ambulance about France; since when I had lost sight of her. I greeted her