have reinforced the bell-ringers at Speldhurst, Kent. As no other explanation is forthcoming, we can only suppose they are doing it out of malice.

A man charged at a London Police Court with being drunk stated that he had been drinking "Government ale." It appears now that the fellow was an impostor.

Another man who wrote a letter protesting against the weakness of the official stimulant inadvertently addressed his letter to the Metropolitan Water Board.

A correspondent who has just spent a day in the country hopes the Commission now dealing with Unrest will not overlook one of its principal causes—namely wasps.

There has been a great falling-off in the number of visitors to Stratford-on-Avon, and it is expected that a new and fuller Life of the Bard will shortly be published.

A Surrey soldier, writing from The Garden of Eden, says, "I think it is a rotten hole, and I don't blame Adam for getting thrown out." Still it is rather late to plead extenuating circumstances.

The Bantam. "AN' I DON'T WANT NONE OF YER NARSTY LOOKS NEITHER, OR IT'S ME AN' YOU FOR IT."

"James —— was remanded at the Thames Police Court on a charge of stealing nine boxes of Beecham's pills, valued at £5."—The Times.

So little? What about those advertisements?

"I was surprised to hear of Baron Heyking's dismissal from his post of Russian Consul-General in London. I had only been talking to him the day before—and then came his dismissal by telegram!"—"Candide," in "The Sunday Pictorial."

Some of our journalists have a lot to answer for.

THE KAISER'S ORIENTAL STUDIES.

A Distinguished Neutral, who has just returned from Germany after residing for some time in the neighbourhood of Potsdam, informs us that the KAISER has been taking a course of Oriental literature in view of his proposed annexation of India, and has lately given close attention to the works of Sir RABINDRANATH TAGORE. The Distinguished Neutral has been fortunate enough to secure the KAISER'S personally annotated copies of the Indian poet's Stray Birds and Fruit-Gathering. From these volumes we have the pleasure of reproducing a selection of Sir RABINDRANATH'S aphorisms and fantasies, accompanied in each case by the KAISER'S marginal reflections:—

"I cannot choose the best. The best chooses me."—R.T.

Very true. I never chose the Deity. He chose Me.—W.

"Through the sadness of all things I hear the crooning of the Eternal Mother."—R.T.

Sometimes, too, I hear the groaning of the Unforgettable Grandfather.—W.

"Life has become richer by the love that has been lost."—R.T.

I wish I could feel this about America.—W.

"'Who draws me forward like fate?' 'The Myself striding on my back.'"—R.T.

That cannot be right. I always said I didn't want this War.—W.

"Wrong cannot afford defeat, but Right can."—R.T.

"This ought to console poor old HINDENBURG."—W.

"Listen, my heart, to the whispers of the world with which it makes love to you."—R.T.

I must pass this on to TIRPITZ.—W.

"We come nearest to the great when we are great in humility."—R.T.

Quite right. I always make a point of acknowledging the assistance of my Partner.—W.