قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, June 27, 1891
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
a bit too long to wait for your linen! (Unanimous and hearty assent by people in dingy flannels.) And if some o' these swells and aristocrats weren't so partickler, and didn't send so much linen to the wash as they do, why, it stands to reason as the hours the washerwomen 'ud work 'ud be shorter!
[Chorus of agreement; sudden unpopularity—especially, oddly enough, with lighthearted young laundresses—of persons in the crowd whose collars are at all aggressive in their cleanliness; universal feeling that the blame has been fitted upon the right shoulders at last. More speeches; simultaneous passing of Resolution; the Processions march away with colours flying and bands playing, and, if they have succeeded in advancing the true interests of labour, no one will be more gratified than their friend, Mr. Punch.
Joseph's Joust.
[Mr. CHAMBERLAIN, from the study of a certain "Liberal Leaflet" triumphantly draws the large conclusion that the Gladstonians have "dropped Home Rule."]
To "ride the high horse," my brave Brummagem boy,
Is doubtless, to you, a delight and a joy;
But little avails that equestrian quest,
If the fruit of your ride is the merest "mare's nest."
APPROPRIATE FOR THE SULTRY SUMMER WEATHER.—The revival of Drink, at Drury Lane. It ought to be "iced drink."
"PALMAM QUI MERUIT, FERAT!"
"It takes time to get ever such journeys and such experiences."—Mrs. Grimwood on her Manipur adventures.
Mr. PUNCH, loquitur:—
True, Madam, and tasteless would be the intrusion
That tactlessly took no account of the time
The praises of Britons are yours, in profusion;
The blame for a blunder, the judgment for crime,
Let Statesmen apportion; all know where the Honour
In Manipur's ill-managed business is due;
And Punch, whose delight is of praise to be donor,
Without hesitation awards it to you!
The terrible tale of that sudden disaster
Is vivid in memory, fresh on our ear;
We know how a tender-souled woman could master
The anguish of horror, the tremor of fear.
That short brave defence will long live in our story.
That long dreadful march England will not forget;
Though womanhood finds little comfort in glory,
For hearts that are aching and eyes that are wet.
Enough for to-day! When slow time has brought healing.
The tale of those hours by your lips may be told.
But proud admiration will scarce brook concealing,
And Punch to express it is courteously bold.
He speaks for all England. For womanly valour
We men have not shaped the right guerdon,—our loss!
A brave woman's heart flushing red o'er fear's pallor,
Deserves—what Punch gives—the Victoria Cross!
"Their acquaintance," observed Counsel, in a recent Breach of Promise Case, "began in a 'bus." This may have been an error of expression, or a misprint, as "began with a buss" would have been more likely.
ANOTHER JUBILEE!—The Jubilee of the COOK Tourist System will be celebrated July 22nd by a Banquet at the Métropole. The dinner ought to be A 1 with such a COOK.
SUMMERY MUMMERY.
I do not know how long the Summer Season at TERRY's, now being carried on by Mr. GEORGE EDWARDES, is to last, but with a little dexterous management there is no reason why this excellent form of entertainment should not go on all the year round. At 8 there is The Lancashire Sailor, by BRANDON THOMAS, which I didn't see; but have heard a first-rate report of it from those who have, and who "know." It might occasionally change places with A Commission. However, this is but a suggestion, as both the pieces I saw the other night will bear a second visit.
A Commission is a short one-act piece, with a sufficiently good plot, and every part in it a character, except "Parker, the Maid"—and here let me enter a solemn protest against the further use of "PARKER" as the name of a lady's-maid in farce or comedy. PARKER is played out. Let her be united to "CHARLES, his Friend," and let both enjoy their well-earned retirement from the stage.
Miss LILY HANBURY plays "Mrs. Hemmersley, a rich young widow," which cannot be described as "a poor part." With this LILY, who looks rich and is beautiful, the poor artist—a very poor artist—one Marshall (without a Christian name in the bill, so why not Snelgrove Marshall?) well played by Dr. FORBES DAWSON, falls desperately in love. WEEDON GROSSMITH is very good as the servant—almost better as the servant than as the author of the piece, and that's saying a good deal.
The Pantomime Rehearsal is eminently funny; especially the first scene between the four men, Messrs. ELLIOT, DANEMORE, GROSSMITH, and BRANDON THOMAS. As for the last-mentioned, it is well worth a visit to this theatre to see Mr. BRANDON THOMAS in two pieces, first as the Model, and then as the Heavy Swell. It is a strong thing to say, but I can call to mind no actor on the stage at the present moment who could in two different characters on the same night so completely and absolutely lose his identity,—for voice, manner, action, and of course appearance are all utterly changed,—as does Mr. BRANDON THOMAS as Gloucester the Model, and as Captain Tom Robinson.
All the ladies are good. Miss HELENA DACRE looks magnificent. Then Miss EDITH CHESTER combines prettiness with fun, and the duet between her and clever Miss LAURA LINDEN is enthusiastically encored—and deservedly so, for it is seldom that two young actresses will "go in" for a real genuine bit of nonsensical burlesque, and win. In fact it is all good, "and if our friends in front" will accept my tip, they will not find a more "summery" form of entertainment than at Mr. EDWARDES' TERRY's Theatre.
HOW IT HAPPENED;
Or, Many a Tru(ro) Word said in Jest.
"And the See of Truro, your Gracious MAJESTY?" asked Lord SALISBURY, as he was packing up his portfolio, previous to leaving the Presence.
"Ah!" said the QUEEN, "for the moment I had forgot"—
"Quite so, your MAJESTY, if you will graciously pardon the interruption," put in the PREMIER—"that's the very person I would suggest."
"Did I mention a name?" inquired the QUEEN, somewhat puzzled.
"Your MAJESTY," replied the noble Earl, "observed that 'you had forgot.' I would suggest that the Bishopric of Truro should be for GOTT." Of course it was at once settled, and a congé d'élire issued.
ETON JUBILEE CURIOSITIES.
FLOREAT ETONA!
Mr. Punch (to King Henry's "holy shade"). "CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR MAJESTY, ON THE 400TH ANNIVERSARY!"