educated you are, the more you're wrong?

Mr. B. Nothing of—er—kind. Don' you make any mishtake. I ain't wrong. I gommy 'pinions—my p'litical 'pinions, and the prinshiples I go 'pon are—Down with—er—Tories!

Mr. C.-J. In that case, Mr. BULCHER, I need not occupy your time any longer, so I'll say—

Mr. B. (buttonholing him). Don' you go 'way, Guv'nor, 'fore I've finished torkin. I've lishened all you gorrer say—now itsh my turn talk, and I tell you er Conshervative Gov'men ish a downri'—&c., &c.

Mr. C.-J. (escaping, after ten minutes' incoherence). I'm afraid he was not quite in a condition to be argued with, but perhaps I shall do better with Mr. MOLESKIN, next door. (To a small boy in passage.) Mr. MOLESKIN in, my lad?

The Boy. Father—e's in. Go right up the stairs, and you'll find 'im.

[Mr. C.-J. flounders up the narrow stairs, and is met at the top by a very burly and surly mechanic.

"Bear with us!"

"BEAR WITH US."—In the case reported in the papers last week of "an infuriated bear shot at Croydon," Inspector ORMONDE said that "when the ring had been removed from its lip, the animal was so much relieved that it immediately turned a somersault." A picture of this interesting incident should be at once painted and hung up in the Divorce Court. The husband, who has become quite a bear in consequence of his better half having rendered herself quite unbearable, would naturally turn head-over-heels with joy on getting quit of the ring. But alas! mark the end of the poor bear. He got more and more excited; he had to be looked up in a stable. Here the joy and novelty of the situation overcame him; his mighty brain gave way; he became mad as a hatter—(Alice in Wonderland might have asked, "Then why didn't they send for a hatter, who would have brought a chimney-pot, or some sort of a tile for his bear-head?")—and subsequently the veterinary Mr. THRALE (whose ancestral namesake had considerable experience in dealing with that learned bear. Dr. JOHNSON) procured a gun, and potted the bear. Awkward in his life, but grease-ful in his death.

EDWARDO AND EDWINI.

A JAPANESE JAPE BY OUR EVER-ON-THE-SPOT ARTIST "LIKA JOKO," REPRESENTING SIR EDWIN ARNOLD RECEIVING THE ORDER OF "THE FIRST DESCRIPTIVE LEADER" FROM H.J.M., DALI TELLI, THE MIKADO.

LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.

Mount Street, Grosvenor Square.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

Anything more dreary than racing during this week's weather at Newmarket can scarcely be imagined! I have often heard Lord ARTHUR declare he was "as dry as a limekiln," and always thought it an absurd expression; and now I know it is!—for anything more wet than the Limekilns at Newmarket this week I never saw!—it's a mystery to me how the poor horses and men avoid catching cold, cantering about there without galoshes—though, by the way, Mr. HAMMOND had one "Galoche" which, of course, was not much use!

Owing to the smallness (that's a good word) of the attendance, we were "pinched" a little in the prices, and of course the pinch came where one least expected it, which was somewhat disconcerting—but as most of the "good things" came off all right—(especially those we took with us from BENOIST and FORTNUM's)—it did not matter so much. Ladies of course were chiefly conspicuous by their absence, but my sweet friend Lady NEWMAN GATESHEAD was quite the Belle of the gathering, and attracted nearly as much attention as the Queen of Navarre, who naturally won her race in royal style!

My selection for the Chesterfield Stakes, Meddler, was successful after a short struggle with the Duke of PORTLAND's Kilmarnock to whom he had to give five pounds (I hope this does not mean that the noble owner is in want of money!); but I am told the latter was not "fit" and "will do better with time!" though I don't quite see how that can be, as surely "time" travels faster than Meddler, so that, unless they take time with him, the handicap will be difficult to frame! By the way, when the handicaps are framed, where do they hang them up? and is it one of the "perks" of the Handicapper to supply the frames?

Those who waited in the rain for the last race on Wednesday were rewarded with a splendid exhibition of horsemanship, given by WEBB on St. Angelo; who appears to be somewhat of a "handful" (St. Angelo I mean, not WEBB, who is very slight), and evinces a strong desire to run in any direction but the one desired of him! I think Mr. MILNER should have him trained on a zigzag method, when his natural wilfulness would cause him to run straight when racing! This is an excellent idea, and I have others equally good (applicable to all styles of horses), which I intend to suggest to different trainers on my next visit to Newmarket!

We were all relieved when the "curtain rang down" on Thursday—(this is not, at first sight, a racing expression, but is largely used by sporting writers, as demonstrating the diversified nature of their knowledge!), in time for us to catch the early special for Liverpool Street; which, special, might really, from the major portion of its