or all together.
Hence, Pigs devour, from lack of self-respect,
What Epicures would certainly reject.

Learn from the Pig to take whatever Fate
Or Elder Persons heap upon your plate.

Q

for Quinine, which children take

With Jam and little bits of cake.

How idiotic! Can Quinine
Replace Cold Baths and Sound Hygiene?



R

the Reviewer,

reviewing my book,
At which he had barely intended to look;
But the very first lines upon "A" were enough
To convince him the Verses were excellent stuff.
So he wrote, without stopping, for several days
In terms of extreme, but well-merited Praise.
To quote but one Passage: "No Person" (says he),
"Will be really content without purchasing three,
"While a Parent will send for a dozen or more,
"And strew them about on the Nursery Floor.
"The Versification might call for some strictures
"Were it not for its singular wit; while the Pictures,
"Tho' the handling of line is a little defective,
"Make up amply in verve what they lack in perspective."

The habit of constantly telling the Truth
Will lend an additional lustre to Youth.



S

stands for Snail, who, though he be the least,
Is not an uninstructive Hornèd Beast.

His eyes are on his Horns, and when you shout
Or tickle them, the Horns go in and out.
Had Providence seen proper to endow
The furious Unicorn or sober Cow
With such a gift the one would never now
Appear so commonplace on Coats of Arms.
And what a fortune for our failing farms
If circus managers, with wealth untold,
Would take the Cows for half their weight in gold!

Learn from the Snail to take reproof with patience,
And not put out your Horns on all occasions.



T

for the Genial Tourist, who resides
In Peckham, where he writes Italian Guides.

Learn from this information not to cavil
At slight mistakes in books on foreign travel.



U

for the Upas Tree,

that casts a blight
On those that pull their sisters' hair, and fight.

But oh! the Good! They wander undismayed,
And (as the Subtle Artist has portrayed)
Dispend the golden hours at play beneath its shade.[B]

Dear Reader, if you chance to catch a sight
Of Upas Trees, betake yourself to flight.

V for

the unobtrusive Volunteer,
Who fills the Armies of the World with fear.

Seek with the Volunteer to put aside
The empty Pomp of Military Pride.



W

My little victim, let me trouble you
To fix your active mind on W.

The waterbeetle here shall teach
A sermon far beyond your reach:
He flabbergasts the Human Race
By gliding on the water's face
With ease, celerity, and grace;
But if he ever stopped to think
Of how he did it, he would sink.

Don't ask Questions!



X

No reasonable little Child expects
A Grown-up Man to make a rhyme on X.