قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 December 16, 1893
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
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The lion, fleas, and kangaroo,
Baboon, and shaving baby too,
Have all had shows—here's something new!
Terpsichore and Turveydrop
Have taught the turkeycock to hop,
To bow politely, skip and flop.
Like Cheshire cat, I would have grinned,
To see the fowl of Western Ind
Disport itself like Letty Lind!
Enough of barn-and serpent-dance!
We'll give the poultry-yard a chance—
With pas de deux-"toms" let us prance!
Charity's Crux.—Charity begins at home, we are told. Perhaps. But at present, confused by rival claims and conflicting counsels, Charity seems to be "all abroad."
CHANGE OF PARTNERS. PRESIDENT CLEVELAND ASKS FOR "JUST ONE TURN" WITH MISS FREE TRADE.
"NEXT HER HEART!"
Young Muddleigh, who has been out buying underwear for his personal use, purchases at the same establishment some flowers for his ladyelove—leaving a Note to be enclosed. Imagine Young Muddleigh's horror, on returning to dress, to discover that the underwear had been sent with the Note, and the Flowers to him! Muddleigh discovered, repeating slowly to himself the contents of the Note:—"Please wear these this Evening, for my sake!"
A CHANGE OF PARTNERS.
["The world should be open to our national ingenuity and enterprise. This cannot be while Federal legislation, through the imposition of a high tariff, forbids to American manufacturers as cheap materials as those used by their competitors.... A measure has been prepared ... embodying tariff reform on the lines herein suggested."—President Cleveland's Message to Congress.]
Grover Cleveland sings:—
(Air—"Are you coming to the dancing?")
Oh! there's only one girl in the world for whom I care a dime,
And I mean to be her partner—if you'll only give me time.
It is nice to see her smiling and a-calling from way over,
"Are you coming to the dancing, Mister Grover, Grover, Grover?"
Chorus—Are you coming, are you coming,
Are you coming to the dancing, Mr. Grover, Grover, Grover?
And I say, I guess I'm coming, Miss Free Trade, dear—as your lover!
"Come, Grover, come!" my love will say; "just one turn in the dance,
And we'll show all competitors they have but little chance.
That's why I love you Grover, 'cause you're limber in your feet
And defy the other fellows, to compete, pete, pete!"
Chorus—Are you coming, &c.
Miss Protection, my old partner's a bit passée, entre nous,
Yet I mustn't all forsake her; she's exacting and a shrew;
And to leave her quite a "Wallflower," and entirely in the shade,
Would mean ructions; yet I must try just one turn with dear Free Trade!
Chorus—Are you coming, &c.
So I'll kiss her little finger, and invite her to the waltz;
Though the other turns her nose up (temper's one of her worst faults).
But I say, "I cannot help it, dear; you're danced quite off your feet,
And a rest will do you good, dear, I repeat, peat, peat!"
Chorus—Are you coming, &c.
"The ball-room should he open to a dancer's enterprise.
I must try a change of partners; your high-tariff step so tries.
It's so stiff, and so exhausting, and a little Freedom's sweet;
Whilst I take one turn with Free Trade. You can take a seat, seat, seat!"
Chorus—Are you coming, &c.
"Oh! she's been and asked her mother, and her mother's said she might.
So sit down and don't show tantrums, for they make you look a fright."
May I ask you for just one turn, Free Trade, before this dance is over?
And she answers "With much pleasure, Mister Grover, Grover, Grover!"
Chorus—Are you coming, are you coming,
Are you coming for one turn, my dear, before this dance is over?
And she smiles—and I'm her partner—and hope soon to be her lover!
"VARIETY! VA-RI-E-TY!"
"The Kilanyi Troupe" at the Palace Theatre of Varieties, with their strikingly realistic Tableaux Vivants, might well change their name pro tem. to "The Kill-any-other Troupe" that might be venturing in the same line. Of course, they are a great attraction, and would be still greater, were the Show varied from night to night, altogether omitting No. 6 in the present programme, and, in view of the popularity of "A tale of the tide," the humour of which is perceptible to everyone on account of the waggery in the tail, by substituting two or three comic for the simply classic poses. Mr. Charles Morton, trading on his acquired store of operatic knowledge, might give us a statuette of Les Deux Gendarmes, who could just vary their attitudes according to the movement of Offenbach's celebrated duett. After a short interval of patriotic song about Nelson and "doing duty" there is a capital French clown, or clown of some nationality, whose fun is genuine, and whose imitations, animal and orchestral, are excellent and really amusing. This is a case in which, if a real bassoon or a real hen intruded itself, either would be hissed, and the false honestly preferred to the real. Altogether, except that the ballet which plays the people out, and does play them out effectually, is old-fashioned, it is an excellent evening's entertainment. The County Council ought to come in their thousands, and, like the little dog who was so pleased to see the cow jumping over the moon, they would "laugh to see such sport."
UNDER THE ROSE.
(A Story in Scenes.)
Scene XIX.—The Drawing-room. Mrs. Toovey is still regarding Mr. Jannaway, after the manner of an elderly bird in the presence of a young and somewhat inexperienced serpent.
Mr. Toovey (coming to the
