can't be nice about anything.

Muriel. Will you consult Valentine? Dr. Roberts, you know?

Viola. How can you go and get engaged to people called Valentine!

At Dinner. Everyone very cheery, except Claude Mignon, who looks depressed, and Mrs. Averidge, who is unnoticed.

Albert (serving soup). What is that ring?

Viola. Oh, nothing.

Servant. Please, Sir, it's only Johnstone has sent misses's parasol, that was left in the cart!

Albert. This is some mistake! You didn't drive to-day, Viola?

Muriel (apart to Alan). Shall I betray you? (To Albert.) The fact is Master Roy went out alone, to develop an idea; and I lent him Viola's parasol, because he was afraid of getting sunburnt.

[Everyone laughs.

Alan. One has to be so careful. Freckles run dreadfully in my family. I had them once, and a relapse is most dangerous!

After Dinner.

Viola. Darling Muriel! I congratulate you and Valentine. Valentine is such a pretty name! How sweet you were! I shall never have another secret!

Muriel. And shall you tell Albert all about it?

Viola. Perhaps—to-morrow!

Claude Mignon (to Alan). I hate a house where a girl is engaged! I'm going away to-morrow.

Alan. So am I.

Claude Mignon. Rather a clumsy-looking creature—the old Doctor?

Alan. Oh, no! Very distinguished!

Muriel (to Alan, in a low voice). I told you not to leave the parasol.

Alan. You did, dear Miss Vane. It was dear of you.

Muriel. And did you develope your idea?

Alan. Well—no. Somehow, it didn't quite come off.

THE END.

Bye-bye to Daudet.—We could not stand the presence of two lions in London; so, when Nasrulla Khan appeared on the scene, Alphonse Daudet made his exit. Our, "Beau-bel Poète" sends us his jingle:—

An Interregnum of Brutality.—The Times last week announced that

"Applications for the vacant Chair of Humanity in the University of Edinburgh should be lodged not later than Saturday, June 29."

Alas! Poor Humanity! It may be news to many that the Chair of Humanity is in the possession of the Northern University. Of course a very large arm-chair, with arms to embrace all mankind. And a very easy chair. Whoever sits in it is only a Professor, and what is mere profession without practice?

OPERATIC NOTES.

Tuesday.—Madame Melba as Juliette! Bless her heart, she must have had a very large one, being a decidedly fine girl for her age, which I believe was fifteen; while Romeo was about nineteen, or thereabouts. Mons. Alvarez, it is needless to add, looked quite "thereabouts." Both singing and acting in first-rate style. Jupiter-Plançon, converted, appears as Frère Laurent, which, sounding like "Law-wrong," is a name rather descriptive of this worthy Friar's somewhat underhand proceedings Friar Law-wrong-Plain-song excellent. Full house night before the Derby. If omens go for anything, the gentleman who was making a book in the lobby, and who overheard some one speak of the opera as Rosebery and Juliette, might have made a small fortune. The slip was a tip.

Some people say, "Why orchestra in 'well' below stage?" But Sir Druriolanus, with experience of general advantage to sound and sight, says, "Shan't touch 'em. 'Leave well alone' is my motto." Exit Sir D. merrily.

Saturday.—Strange case of Rigoletto & Co.—"Co." being Melba at her best, Bauermeister and clever Julia Ravogli, with De Lucia as the Gay Dook, Ancona as the Fool, suggestive of the Pagliacci mummer with a court appointment. "House full." Maurel is coming. To Falstaff and Don Giovani he will give a "high Maurel tone."

SPORT, SPECULATION, AND COUNSEL'S OPINION.

So many letters have reached me during the past week begging for my opinion upon the legality of what may be termed sporting financial speculation, that I scarcely apologise for asking the hospitality of the columns of the leading law paper to give my response. No doubt the inquiry has to some extent been fostered by the report that I was seen taking part in the hippodromatic revels of the Derby Day. It is true that I certainly visited Epsom on the occasion in question; but only in a semi-official capacity. I have the honour to be consulting assessor of the Diamond Mine Salting Syndicate, Limited, and in that desirable position have frequently attended the meetings of the directors on occasions, so to speak, outside the Board-room. It is true that my experience as one learned in the law is seldom required at such seasons, still the directors, as fiduciaries, are to be applauded for neglecting no opportunity of availing themselves of my services.

Having satisfactorily explained how it came that I was on the Downs when, by a not unnatural coincidence, the Derby was decided, I proceed to consider the question that has been propounded to me. Is sporting speculative finance illegal? It is not a matter that can be decided off-hand. One must be careful not to interfere with the policy of trade, and do nothing to impede the development of honest industry. I am asked by a correspondent, who dates "From Sheffield," if there is anything undignified in his appearing as a "bookie" in a pink velvet coat, a yellow slouch hat, with blue feathers, and black leather knickerbockers. I can see no objection to a tradesman wearing any costume he determines to select. It would perhaps be as well not to attempt to disguise his features, as the operation might savour of secrecy, the chief element of fraud. This limitation of course does not apply to an auctioneer, who, having his name and address displayed on a board hanging on the rostrum he occupies, can legally carry on his business,