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"THERE IS A TIE THAT BINDS US TO OUR HOMES"

He. "I can't understand Phyllis rejecting me last night."

She. "Never mind. You'll soon get over it."

He. "Oh, I've got over it right enough; but I can't help feeling so doosid sorry for her. I shan't ask her again!"

"A NIGHT OF IT"

Young Wife (2 a.m..). "Dinner at the Albion! the theatre! and supper and a rubber at the club! Well, Henry, I wonder you did not go to all the places of amusement in London, and (sobbing) not come home all night!"

Henry. "My dear, all th' other places shu' rup!!"

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

A FRAGMENT

Yes, Robert! But O! do look at the excellent evening glow on yon distant hills! How solemn!! How sublime!"

"O! stunning. Well, then I measured the scullery: six feet by ten ... that'll just do, won't it?"

PRIMARY ROCK

The Effect of Getting Married.—"Poor Dick! how sadly he is altered since his marriage!" remarked one friend to another. "Why, yes, of course," replied the other; "directly a man's neck is in the nuptial noose, every one must see that he's a haltered person."

A Bad Pre-eminence.—What is there beats a good wife? A bad husband.

Question by a Sewing Machine.—What is woman's true sphere?—The Hemisphere.

A Marriage Question.—If a man addicted to smoking marries a widow, does it follow that he must lay down his pipe, because she gives up her weeds?

A Ready-made Rejoinder.—He. "You made a fool of me when I married you, ma'am!" She. "Lor! You always told me you were a self-made man!"

Mem. by an Old Maid.—If you "look over your age," you won't find anyone else willing to do the same.

MAFEKING NIGHT

(Or rather 3 a.m. the following morning)

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