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قراءة كتاب Funny Epitaphs
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اللغة: English
الصفحة رقم: 2
violent death. He was shot by a colt's revolver, old kind, brass mounted, and of such is the kingdom of heaven.
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A Cornwall churchyard is enriched with the following dainty verses:
Here lies entombed one Roger Morton,
Whose sudden death was early brought on;
Trying one day his corn to mow off,
The razor slipped and cut his toe off.
Whose sudden death was early brought on;
Trying one day his corn to mow off,
The razor slipped and cut his toe off.
The toe, or rather what it grew to,
An inflammation quickly flew to;
The parts they took to mortifying,
And poor dear Roger took to dying.
An inflammation quickly flew to;
The parts they took to mortifying,
And poor dear Roger took to dying.
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The death angel struck Alexander McGlue
And gave him protracted repose;
He wore a checked shirt and a No. 9 shoe
And had a pink wart on his nose.
And gave him protracted repose;
He wore a checked shirt and a No. 9 shoe
And had a pink wart on his nose.
No doubt he is happy a-dwelling in space
Over on the evergreen shore.
His friends are informed that his funeral takes place
At precisely a quarter past four.
Over on the evergreen shore.
His friends are informed that his funeral takes place
At precisely a quarter past four.
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At Brightwell, Oron. On S. Rumbold, born February, 1582:
He lived one hundred and five,
Sanguine and strong;
A hundred to five,
You live not so long.
Dy'd March 4, 1687.
Sanguine and strong;
A hundred to five,
You live not so long.
Dy'd March 4, 1687.
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This is all that remains of poor Ben Hough
He had forty-nine years and that was enough.
Of worldly goods he had his share,
And now he's gone to the Devil's snare.
He had forty-nine years and that was enough.
Of worldly goods he had his share,
And now he's gone to the Devil's snare.
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In an old cemetery in Lyme, Conn.:
Close behind this stone
Here lies alone
Captain Reynolds Marvin,
Expecting his wife
When ends her life,
And we both are freed from sarvin'.
Here lies alone
Captain Reynolds Marvin,
Expecting his wife
When ends her life,
And we both are freed from sarvin'.
✠
Here lies the body of Captain Gervase Scrope, of the family of the Scropes of Bilton, in the county of York, who departed this life 26th August, Anno Domini 1705, aged 66.
An epitaph written by himself, in the agony and doloroes paines of the gout, and died soon after.
Here lies an old toss'd tennis ball.
Was racketted from spring to fall.
With so much heat and so much frost,
Time's arms for shame grew ty'rd at last.
Four kings in camps he truly served,
And from his loyalty ne'er swerved.
Father ruin'd, the son slighted,
And from the Crown ne'er requited.
Loss of Estate, Relations, Blood,
Was too well known, but did no good.
Was racketted from spring to fall.
With so much heat and so much frost,
Time's arms for shame grew ty'rd at last.
Four kings in camps he truly served,
And from his loyalty ne'er swerved.
Father ruin'd, the son slighted,
And from the Crown ne'er requited.
Loss of Estate, Relations, Blood,
Was too well known, but did no good.