for performing the common courtesies of the parlor. So attend all the dances possible, and under all circumstances remember that you are a MAN and a GENTLEMAN.

Many often hesitate and become diffident from a lack of readiness in expressing their ideas, and from a fear that they do not speak correctly and elegantly. Now speaking grammatically is a mere matter of education. If lacking in this respect, the use of any good grammar, and particularly “Composition and Rhetoric,” already mentioned, with “Live and Learn;” or “1000 Mistakes Corrected,” will be all you require in this direction. “One Thousand Mistakes Corrected,” is better than half-a-dozen living teachers.

To express one’s self with fluency in conversation is an art that can be acquired by a little practice, in adopting the method of the great orator Clay, in gaining quick readiness in speech. “I owe my success in life,” said he, “chiefly to one circumstance—that at the age of twenty-seven I commenced, and continued for years the practice of daily reading and speaking upon the contents of some historical or scientific book. These off-hand efforts were made sometimes in a cornfield, at others in the forest, and not unfrequently in some distant barn, with the horse and the ox for my auditors. It is to this early practice of the art of all arts, that I am indebted for my subsequent destiny.”

Reading aloud from some book, enunciating every word clearly and distinctly, with a dictionary at hand to settle instantly in your own mind any question as to the proper pronunciation of particular words, is a practice so abundantly fruitful of good results, that those who will practise it even for a short time, will scarcely be induced to relinquish it. In reading, cultivate the purely conversational tone. It is as easy to read as it is to talk, yet there are few good readers. The tone of voice, modulation, accent, etc., should be precisely as if you were in conversation, not as if you were preaching in a drawling, monotonous way. Read well and you will converse well, and both are superior accomplishments, acquired with facility; though the orator who pours forth his thoughts with such apparent ease, achieves his wonderful power only by means of patient labor, after much repetition, and, like Disraeli, often after bitter disappointments.

So take courage, young men, and if you have a difficulty to overcome, grapple with it at once; facility will come with practice, and strength and success with repeated effort. And always recollect, that the mind and character may be trained to almost perfect discipline, enabling it to move with a grace, spirit and freedom almost incomprehensible to those who have not subjected themselves to a similar training.

Take a raw recruit; he stoops, he walks in a shuffling, slouchy manner; he is painfully awkward. A few weeks under the Drill-Sergeant, and he walks forth erect, dignified, with the true soldierly bearing. Life seems but for the purpose of mere drilling. In one form or another we cannot escape it; neither should we desire to do so.

Bashfulness from Ignorance of the Ways of Society.

It is certainly very embarrassing and conducive of bashfulness to be thrust into a glittering room filled with people superior to one’s self in position, and equally cultured in the knowledge of what is due to the place and occasion. A sensitive, uncultured man or maiden, with rustic garb and rustic speech, and little knowledge respecting correct manners, introduced at once to the presence of cultured ladies and gentlemen, does not know what to do with hands nor feet; whether to sit or to stand, or to hide. Is it to be wondered at that such a person acts and feels cheap and diminutive?

But, diffident reader, do not be discouraged, for general good breeding is very easy of attainment. You must possess simply common sense, self-possession, and a habit of observation.

The exercise of a good common sense will show you plainly enough what is right and wrong—what is proper and improper. Self-possession will prevent from doing awkward and bungling things; and by observation you will soon learn the manners of the well-bred.

“But I won’t know how to act, mother,” said a lad as he was about starting to his first party. “Keep your eyes open, and just do as the others do,” was the answer, and better advice could not have been given.

Quiet self-possession will enable a person quite unacquainted with the usages of society to conduct himself very acceptably even in the most superior company. It is the foolish feeling of timidity that causes the trepidation and bashfulness, and consequent uneasy manners when in company, with the class of persons for whose benefit this book was written. Why should you be timid and backward, and show by your hesitating ways that you do not feel at ease? You surely can notice how those about you conduct themselves, and conduct yourself accordingly. Why should you not enter a room filled with company like any other well-bred person, in an easy, unconcerned manner, and addressing those about you, even those with whom you are not acquainted, without restraint, and without embarrassment? If you cannot muster sufficient spirit to do this, you had better turn travelling agent and call from house to house till you are not afraid of associating and conversing with strangers.

Yet to be well-bred without ceremony; easy without carelessness; self-possessed and dignified with modesty; polite without affectation; pleasing without servility; cheerful without being noisy; frank without indiscretion; and secret without mysteriousness; to know the proper time and place for whatever you say or do, and do it with the air of the well-bred—all this requires time and close observation. “Manners make the man.” Old, but good. The power or influence of an easy, pleasing, deferential manner; of a polite, gracious and genteel address, is shown in a multitude of ways, and is acknowledged by high and low, and could not be better illustrated than by the success of great Counterfeiters, Forgers, and “Confidence men” generally. They are invariably men of the most polished and insinuating address. They listen to you with a consummate, well-bred air of interest and attention. They flatter you unconsciously, but none the less powerfully by the deep respect they apparently show to every word of your conversation; and when they address you it is as if to a person deserving of the highest consideration. And all this with such a combination of suavity, self-respect and dignity that it is most powerful to please. And these accomplished rascals have trained themselves to polished address and perfection of manners solely for the purpose of winning in their schemes with men.

Judicious flattery is incomparable as a means of pleasing. No person is proof against it, and one of its most delicate and effective forms is in showing a seeming deference to us—our conversation—opinions and advice. The ladies are particularly susceptible to polite and urbane manners. The act of a gentleman raising his hat and bowing gracefully to a lady, is really, or seemingly, a mark of esteem and respect, and the lady is pleased, as she should be. Little attentions thoughtfully shown are certain to please, and to secure that regard the person showing them is entitled to receive.

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