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قراءة كتاب Punch, Or the London Charivari Volume 107, November 24, 1894
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Punch, Or the London Charivari
Volume 107, November 24, 1894
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
THE HAYMARKET HEROINE.
A THRILLING MOMENT; OR, GO IN AND WYNN.
The Rev. Stephen Wynn startled by a Woman with a good many Tails about her!
As A. Pinero's—the Pinero's—Second Mrs. Tanqueray?
We know that reputations great have often been, and are made,
By such a part, but not by Mister Arthur Jones's barmaid.
Though then there was a chance when both the men began to gamble;
Yet—no—I never cared for it," quoth Mrs. Patrick Campbell.
"When at the T. R. H. I feared, and so did Mr. Tree,
That Haddon Chambers hadn't an apartment fit for me.
Kate Cloud is rather hazy; but they said 'there will for you be "bus,"'
(Theatrical for 'business')—which seems to me in nubibus.
For I'm a shady heroine of squalor not romance,
For passion and emotion I have barely got a chance.
I'm in a yacht both first and last, and what becomes of meI am not very certain, and no more is Mr. Tree,
As at the finish both of us are thoroughly at sea.
For the villain there's Charles Cartwright, and, speaking for myself, I
Preferred him when, more villainous, he was at the Adelphi.
They talk a deal of Pat-mos (a name that sounds like two),
A mixture of Hibernian that's 'Pat' with 'Moss,' He-brew,
This coupled too with John-a-Dreams,—of course there's no offence
Intended, yet it has a smack of some irreverence.
The play's successful to a point, the critics say 'no doubt of it,'
But were I Mister Tree I would cut thirty minutes out of it.
I finish with no postscript, I commenced with no preamble,
And sign myself devotedly, your Paula Patrick Campbell."
UNDER A CLOUD; OR, AN OXFORD (COMPACT) MIXTURE.
Puzzled by plot when the clock strikes ten.
Up jumps Harold, "A cloud in the sky!"
"Comrade!" cries Hubert, "how's that for high?"
NEW AND OLD.
(By One who prefers the Old.)
What time the water-lilies wake,
Fair rosy cheeks and eyes of blue,
Clear windows that the soul sees through,
A moving grace, a brow of snow:
Such were the girls we used to know.
Woman's advancing majesty:
The flashing eyes, the brows that knit,
The ready tongue all themes to fit,
The heavy stride—the hose in hue
Unlike her eyes and deeply blue.
That hung on gleaming shoulders down:
Close-cropped as never Roundhead knave
In sternest times aspired to shave,
Not Milton's self, however blind,
To toy with such had felt inclined.
Not thine the lilt of lover's rhymes,
Whom some grim don perchance may wed,
Who scorns the heart and sues the head:
Farewell for ever and a day,
Miss Araminta Jones, B.A.!
A TASTE TO BE ACQUIRED.
Sporting Farmer (to young Pupil from provincial town, who has just made his first effort to ride over a Fence). "Now then, jump on again! Better luck next time! You'll like it after a bit!"
Pupil (still seeing stars). "Shall I, Sir? Seems to me as much like a Railway Collision as anything!"
"THE FOURTH R."
'Twas "The Three R's" they promised us, but now They're merged in a bad fourth—Religious (?) Row!
["The so-called 'compromise' of 1871 was based on the assumption that, when all the differences of our English Christendom were struck out, there would be found the beating heart of 'a common Christianity' sending a quickening life through all its members.... Believing it not impossible for 'all who profess and call themselves Christians' to reconcile themselves to these two forms, elementary and supplementary, I earnestly commend them for peaceful co-existence to the conflicting parties of School Board electors and members."—Dr. James Martineau's Letter to the "Times" of November 14.]
Is to the common heart, whilst general anger
Distracts and darkens all our commonweal,
And schools and churches ring with noisy clangour;
Would they but heed thy loving call, though late,
How would the prospect