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قراءة كتاب Punch, Or the London Charivari, Volume 148, January 6th, 1915
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Punch, Or the London Charivari
Volume 148, January 6th, 1915
VOL. CXLVIII
NOTES ON NEWS.
By a Cynic.
The news that fills our daily files
From special correspondents—miles
Behind the Front—perchance beguiles
The simple, but the sceptic riles.
From special correspondents—miles
Behind the Front—perchance beguiles
The simple, but the sceptic riles.
The news from Rott- or Amst-erdam
Has German powder in its jam.
Has German powder in its jam.
The news from Petrograd, when fine
And large, 'tis wiser to decline
Without the Grand Duke's countersign.
And large, 'tis wiser to decline
Without the Grand Duke's countersign.
The Russian news that comes from Rome
Is as romantic as a pome.
Is as romantic as a pome.
The news that comes from Austrian sources
Münchhausen's shade alone endorses.
Münchhausen's shade alone endorses.
The news from Nish upon Vienna
Acts somewhat like the tea of senna.
Acts somewhat like the tea of senna.
News from Vienna wakes in Nish
The exclamation "Tush!" or "Pish!"
The exclamation "Tush!" or "Pish!"
On Turkish telegrams, qua fiction,
We may bestow our benediction;
We may bestow our benediction;
They match (their humour is so tireless)
The exploits of the German Wireless.
The exploits of the German Wireless.
In fine, the cautious type eschews,
As wholly prejudicial
To his enlightenment, all news
Save the Allies' official.
As wholly prejudicial
To his enlightenment, all news
Save the Allies' official.
"The National Gallery had an unwonted experience. Quite a number of people, among them a church dignitary in garters, were inspecting its masterpieces."—Evening News.
No mention is made of ourselves—a Press dignitary in sock-suspenders.
FROM THE NEUTRAL NATIONS.
[The recent boom in the export of copper from America to the neutral nations is very significant. If the enemy's supplies of this article—an essential in the manufacture of cartridges, etc.—were cut off, the war would come to a speedy end. The figures for September and October, 1914, show an increase of nearly 400 per cent. over the corresponding figures for 1913.]
O Britain, guardian of the seas,
Whose gallant ships (may Heaven speed 'em)
Defend the wide world's liberties
Against the common foe of Freedom;
Doubt not where our true feelings lie;
We would not have you come a cropper,
Although it suits us to supply
That common foe with copper.
Whose gallant ships (may Heaven speed 'em)
Defend the wide world's liberties
Against the common foe of Freedom;
Doubt not where our true feelings lie;
We would not have you come a cropper,
Although it suits us to supply
That common foe with copper.
Dear Land of Hope, in which we trust,
Beneath whose ample wings we snuggle,
Safe from the Kaiser's
Beneath whose ample wings we snuggle,
Safe from the Kaiser's