قراءة كتاب The Life and Times of Her Majesty Caroline Matilda, Vol. 2 (of 3) Queen of Denmark and Norway etc.

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The Life and Times of Her Majesty Caroline Matilda, Vol. 2 (of 3)
Queen of Denmark and Norway etc.

The Life and Times of Her Majesty Caroline Matilda, Vol. 2 (of 3) Queen of Denmark and Norway etc.

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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on the general welfare that no paying of fees should exist, and yet you wish that the valet should retain his fees, although I took them away from him, and exposed myself to the risk of having enemies in the king's entourage! I have deprived the king's servants of a lucrative source, and you wish to restore it to them, so as to render yourself popular with these people. These are certainly only trifles, but every sensible man is aware that slight causes frequently produce great effects. We ought, perhaps, to have paid a little more attention to buffoons; for the king would, probably, have applauded farces more than tearful tragedies, and if you had been reproached on that account by foreigners, but had amused the king, would not that have been a sufficient reward for the sacrifice of your taste? If the queen has been mistaken in her opinion about Martini and Paschini, she possesses sufficient good sense to recognise her error, and the whole affair only cost 2,000 dollars. You ought to have dismissed these soi-disant artistes, as I advised you. If the regimental "pot-house fiddlers" had been properly trained and practised in accompaniment, the expenses for flute and violin players would have been saved, who look like beaux, and drive about with four horses. If the balls had been carried on as they began, they would have breathed a natural merriment instead of all the affectation which the dancing-master, favoured by Madame de Holstein, introduced, and which rendered them insipid and tedious, because only a few danced well enough, and the others, the protectress included, were obliged to take lessons of the dancing-master ere they could take part. It was not the monotony but the affectation that ruined the balls; for the king has never been able to learn a set dance. You prefer to gain the applause of the public instead of pleasing your friend, and humouring the whims and peculiarities of the king and queen. The comic element has always been most in demand, because we could not expect to find tragedians. I have explained to you the causes of this a thousand times. That desire is founded in the character of the king and queen, and the relations in which they have always lived.

All your complaints are based on the passion which possesses me at times when at the card table. In other respects, however, I am not aware that I have ever offended against the rules of good behaviour. Your caprice alone has detected such failings in me. If I have insulted you, it occurred through carelessness, and I beg your pardon for it. I will, in future, be more attentive to myself, for it would grieve me were I to offend on this head, though I must confess that I am not happy in the matter of small attentions. As a compensation for this, I may be allowed to boast that I have never neglected any opportunity to please my friends that presented itself to me. Up to the present I was not aware either that persons had found your intercourse with me blamable, and that you ran a risk of injuring your character by it. Such an expression ought never to have passed the lips of a man who boasts of his susceptibility and fine feeling. It is hard to hear such things from a friend, although it has not insulted me; for I do not regulate my respect for others on the opinion of strangers; and I do not remember a single moment when you had cause to be ashamed of my acquaintance. And then, too, what would have become of you if I had followed the advice of my friends?

You accuse me of despotism? Well, if I am a despot in business, your despotism goes much further, for you wish to rule the taste at the theatres, and that of dress, balls, and parties. Loo is the only game that amuses the king; the queen, too, is fond of it, and neither cares for any other game, for I have often proposed it to no effect. That you and the Holstein lose at it, and that they refuse at once to begin another game, is sufficient to set you in a fury. In order to gain access to Frau von Moltke, I lost from 20 to 30 dollars nearly every evening, at a time when I had only a salary of 1,000 dollars. But I did not grumble at it, for I thought a man must regulate himself by the company he associates with. How many persons utterly ruin themselves at other places, in order to be able to live at court, and belong to the circles of the king and queen! The easy manner in which you obtained everything you desired, has led you to consider even those exalted personages as nobodies. My "delicate feeling" is not affected because you lose at play; for, in the first place, I do not always win; and, secondly, you are not without resources by which to recover your losses. However, these are but trifles when the point is to amuse the king and queen; but it is always a dangerous thing to undertake changes in their mode of life. After your return to court, you raised the stakes and bet heavily on the cards. I remember one evening when you won and I lost, but I did not, on that account, recommend more moderate stakes. But it is not you who wish or speak so, but the Holstein, and on that account I am vexed.

I ask you now, whether you do not consider your proposition (about the estates) indelicate and selfish? How have we deserved such great rewards, that we might amuse ourselves in Paris, because we are weary of Copenhagen? For my part, I would not accept such gifts, even if the king entertained the most insane and blind devotion to me, and therefore will not promote such a thing in the slightest degree, but always oppose it.

I shall be very cautious about proposing a friend to the king. He may choose one for himself, and I leave him perfect liberty to do so.

I also beg you to reflect, whether, when engaged with other people, either on business or pleasure, it is possible to avoid all unpleasantness and arrogance? But the more important the object of our action is, the less must we care for such vexations. If I had made some slight concessions, I could have made my fortune, but I declined the chance; for, if I succeed in introducing order into the government, I shall be sufficiently rewarded, although I must now put up with daily ingratitude.

I greatly regret that, in spite of my zealous exertions to render you happy, and thus afford you a proof of my friendship, I have effected exactly the opposite. Still, I beg you to calm yourself, to give no heed to ear-wiggers, to examine your position and what attaches you to it, to weigh the comforts on one side, the unpleasantness on the other; to compare the present with the past and the future, and to draw a final conclusion. I have spoken to you frankly and perhaps rather roughly. From the latter, you must not conclude that I am prejudiced against you: for I only did so because I felt convinced that Frau von Holstein is the cause of your dissatisfaction. You can say far more bitter things to me without arousing me. But so long as you maintain your connections with that lady, you will always find me reserved and susceptible, whether it is that I do not like the woman, or because I am jealous at being obliged to share your friendship with her. Pray reflect what a self-conquest it must have cost me to pay her such attention, or even to allow her to remain in Copenhagen.

Finally, I request you not to take any precipitate step, but to speak to me frequently about your affairs, so that we may discover a way to satisfy you. I will willingly sign any proposition to that effect.

Struensee.


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