whole matter to you. The telegram she sent me makes it perfectly clear. I daresay you know that the Archduchess Anastasia is a patient of Dickie’s. And a very nice patient for him to have. I’ve never met her, though I happen to know several members of her family, and she’s a very cultivated, pleasant woman. I’ve always said to Dickie that that is the sort of practice he ought to get. The middle classes do a doctor no good.

Golightly.

My dear Davenport, do go on with your story.

Barlow.

Well, it appears that the Archduchess Anastasia has signified her desire to know Penelope. Very charming and graceful action on her part, and just like her. Of course she’s extremely grateful to Dickie for all he’s done. He’s worked a miraculous cure, and I daresay she’s heard that Penelope is my niece. It’s a maxim you can always go on: royalty knows everything. And the long and the short of it is that she’s coming to lunch here. Of course Penelope knows nothing about these matters, and in a state of great excitement she’s sent for me. It’s the best thing she could do. I can tell her everything. I’ve lived in that set all my life. It’s nothing to be particularly proud about—mere accident of birth—I happen to be a gentleman. A certain family. Well, there it is, you see.

Golightly.

But do you mean to say that Penelope wired all that to you? It must have cost her a perfect fortune.

Barlow.

She put it a little more briefly, of course, but that was the gist of it.

Beadsworth.

I can’t imagine why she should send for me because a royalty is coming to luncheon with her. It was very inconvenient to get away. I had a dozen people waiting to see me, and I was obliged to slip out by the back door in order to avoid them.

Golightly.

But what are the exact words of the wire she sent you, Davenport?

Barlow.

You can see it if you like. [Taking it from his pocket and reading.] “Come at once. Archduchess Anastasia. Penelope.”

Golightly.

But d’you mean to say that you made up all that story out of those three words?

Barlow.

Penelope knew I had a certain amount of intelligence. She didn’t want to waste her money, so she just put what was essential, and left me to gather the rest.

Mrs. Golightly.

But my telegram says nothing about the Archduchess Anastasia.

Barlow.

What did Penelope say to you?

Mrs. Golightly.

[Taking out the telegram.] “Come at once! Grave scandal! Central African Mission. Penelope.”

Barlow.

But that’s absurd. You know how stupid the Post Office is. They must have made a mistake. I know that the Pomeranian Royal Family is very odd, but there are limits, and I can’t imagine the Archduchess Anastasia being mixed up in a scandal with a Central African missionary.

Beadsworth.

Well, my wire merely said: “Come at once; six and eightpence. Penelope.”

Barlow.

Six and eightpence! Why six and eightpence?

Beadsworth.

I don’t know. That is why I lost no time in coming.

Golightly.

[With a twinkle.] My impression is that the Archduchess Anastasia, instead of paying Dickie’s bill for miraculously curing