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قراءة كتاب Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870

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‏اللغة: English
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870

Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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class="c7">Finest Cigars made in
the United States.

All sizes and styles. Prices very moderate. Samples sent to any responsible house.
Also Importers of the

"FUSBOS" BRAND,

Equal in quality to the best of the Havana market, and from ten to twenty per cent cheaper.

Restaurant, Bar, Hotel, and Saloon trade will save money by calling at

29 LIBERTY STREET

SYPHER & CO.,

(SUCCESSORS TO D. MARLEY.)

No. 557: Broadway, New-York,

MODERN AND ANTIQUE

FURNITURE,
BRONZES,
CHINA,
AND

ARTICLES OF VERTU.

GUFFROY'S

COD-LIVER DRAGEES.

SUGAR-COATED PILLS OF COD-LIVER EXTRACT.

A perfect substitute for Cod-Liver Oil, more efficacious, more economical, and free from all its disagreeable qualities. Used in English, French, and American hospitals, and highly recommended by the Medical Faculty here and in Europe.

Send for a pamphlet, which contains many very emphatic testimonials from eminent physicians who have tried them.

Ward, Southerland & Co.,

130 William Street, New-York.

A box of 240 Dragées, equal to six pints Cod-Liver Oil, $2. Sent by mail on receipt of price.

AMERICAN
BUTTONHOLE, OVERSEAMING,

AND

SEWING-MACHINE CO.,

563 Broadway, New-York.

This great combination machine is the last and greatest improvement on all former machines, making, in addition to all work done on best Lock-Stitch machines, beautiful

BUTTON AND EYELET HOLES;

in all fabrics.

Machine, with finely finished

OILED WALNUT TABLE AND COVER

complete, $75. Same machine, without the buttonhole parts, $60. This last is beyond all question the simplest, easiest to manage and to keep in order, of any machine in the market. Machines warranted, and full instruction given to purchasers.

DOUGAN,

PRACTICAL HATTER,

102 NASSAU STREET,

NEW-YORK.

WEVILL & HAMMAR,

Wood Engravers,

No. 208 BROADWAY,

NEW-YORK.

BELMONT HOTEL.

J.P. RICHARDS, Proprietor.

DINING ROOMS.

Rooms 50c., 75c., and $1 per night.

133, 135, and 137 FULTON STREET,

NEW-YORK.





Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of United States, for the Southern District of New-York.


PREFACE

PUNCHINELLO, Vol. 1. No. 1.

(Suggestion: "Take care of No. 1.")

PUNCHINELLO TO THE PUBLIC, GREETING:

His name, PUNCHINELLO hopes, will not be found a difficult one to articulate. He flatters himself that it has a smack of grape-juice and olives about it. It rhymes with "mellow," which naturally brings us to "good fellow.". On occasions PUNCHINELLO can "bellow," cut a "tremendous swell," O, and he never throws away a chance of pocketing the "yellow." He would like to rhyme with "swallow;" but alas! it can not, can not be.

And yet, in spite of (or perhaps on account of) PUNCHINELLO'S mellifluous name, much cavil has been brought to bear upon him. (Prepare to receive cavilry.)

Squadrons of well-meaning persons with speaking-trumpets marched to and fro before the sponsors of PUNCHINELLO, each roaring at them to stop such a name as that, and attend to his suggestion, and his only.

One did not like PUNCHINELLO because it means a "little Punch," and he—the speaking-trumpeter—liked a great deal; and lo! while he spoke, he changed his trumpet for several horns. Then he was taken with a fit of herpetology in his boots, and sank to advise no more.

Another—a fellow with an infinite fancy for buffo minstrelsy—was vociferous that PUNCHINELLO should be called "Tommy Dodd." The discussion upon this lasted for three months; but finally, "Tommy Dodd" was rejected on account of the superfluously aristocratic aroma that exhaled from the name.

Four divisions of men with banners then came by, each division respectively composed of members of the waning families of Smith, Brown, Jones, and Robinson, and each division bawled and thundered that the name round which it rallied should be adopted instead of PUNCHINELLO, on pain of death.

And thousands of others came with suggestions of a like sort; for which some of them wanted "stamps." And when they had all had their say, PUNCHINELLO was called PUNCHINELLO, and nothing else—a name by which he means to stand or fall.

And now to business. PUNCHINELLO is not going to define his position here. He refrains from boring his readers with prolix gammon about his foreign and domestic relations. He will content himself (and readers, he hopes) by briefly mentioning that he has foreign and domestic relations in every part of the habitable globe, and that they each and all furnish him with correspondence of the most reliable and spicy character, regularly and for publication. Among his foreign relations he is happy to reckon M. MEISSONNIER, the celebrated French artist, to whom he is indebted for the original painting from which PUNCHINELLO, as he appears on his own title-page, is taken.

A preface is not the place in which to enlarge upon topics of great humanitarian interest, political importance, or social progress. PUNCHINELLO will merely touch a few of such matters, then, and these with a light finger. (No allusion, here, to the "light-fingered gentry," for whom PUNCHINELLO keeps a large grape vine in pickle.)

PUNCHINELLO observes the incipient tendency to return to specie payments. To this revival, however, he is not as yet prepared to give his adhesion, though, on the whole, he considers it preferable to relapsing fever, which is also noted on 'Change. Cuba shall have her due share of attention from him. And if She-Cuba, (Queen of the Antilles, you know,) why not also He-Cuba?—lovely and preposterous woman, who, from her eagerness to slip on certain habiliments that are masculine, but shall here be nameless, shall henceforth be appropriately distinguished by that name.

Let other important topics take care of themselves. PUNCHINELLO will only add that he would at any time rather suspend the public plunderers than habeas corpus, and that he means to take the gloss off the grim joke that "Hanging for murder's played out in New-York."

It is pleasant for PUNCHINELLO to draw the attention of his readers to the fact that this, his First Number, is dated April 2d—the day after All Fools' Day. This is cheering; since thus it is manifest that PUNCHINELLO leaves all the fools and jesters behind, and is, therefore, first in the race for the crown of comic laurel and the quiver of satiric shafts.

And now, by DAN PHOEBUS!—that's the DAN (ah!) that drives the Sun, you know, and is the biggest spot upon it—here we find that we have talked ourself all the way to DELMONICO'S, and there's CHARLEY on the lookout.

Punchinello: "Good evening, Mr. DELMONICO; have you any room for us?"

Delmonico: "You are very welcome, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, and your rooms are quite ready; for we have been expecting you ever so long. Of course, your staff of artists can be accommodated in our Drawing-room, if you will permit me to throw off so insignificant a joke."

Punchinello: "Tut, CHARLES!—'tis a joke of the first water, (first brandy-and-water, CHARLES.) Cap your

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