glass) May ye be always so, though there's nothin' like it all the same. (Handing coin) I think I'll have a little drop from meself this time.

MRS. COTTER (as she takes the money)
Will I bring it up-stairs?

HEAD
Erra, don't bother! I'm beginnin' to feel meself again.

[Fills his pipe until she returns.

MRS. COTTER (entering and handing drink)
Did you bring your overcoat with you, Head?

HEAD
Why so, ma'am?

MRS. COTTER Because the cold o' the rain is there. I wouldn't make any delay but go home immediately. You might get a wettin'.

HEAD (feeling his tunic) This wouldn't leave in a drop o' rain in a hundred years, ma'am.

[Knock at door.

MRS. COTTER
Who's there?

VOICE
Police!

HEAD
Police, did I hear?

MRS. COTTER
'Tis the Sergeant's voice.

HEAD
Glory to be God! I'm ruined! If he finds the smell o'
whiskey from me, he'll tell the Inspector, an' then
Head Constable Mulligan is no more!

MRS. COTTER
Is he as bad as that?

HEAD He has no conscience at all. He's a friend o' the Inspector's. (Knocking continues at door) Don't open that door till I tell you—that's if you don't want to find a corpse on the floor.

MRS. COTTER
Sure, I must open the door.

HEAD Time enough. He's paid for waitin'. Have you such a thing as an onion in the house?

MRS. COTTER
I didn't see an onion for the last three weeks.

HEAD (scratching his head) What the blazes will I do? (Looking towards coal hole) Whist! I'm saved. I'll go in here until he's gone. (Goes in and puts out his head) You can open now, but get rid of him as soon as you can.

[Exit Mrs. Cotter. Enter the Sergeant.

SERGEANT
So you opened at last. Well, better late than never!

MRS. COTTER I'm sorry for keepin' you waitin', Sergeant. I don't open the door for any one on Sunday nights, an' whin you said "Police," I thought it was one o' the boys tryin' to desaive me.

SERGEANT I see! I see! There's a lot o' desaitful people in the town, ma'am.

MRS. COTTER
There are, Sergeant.

SERGEANT There are indeed. (Coughs) I'm sick an' tired o' the place altogether.

MRS. COTTER I thought it agreed with you. You're lookin' very well, anyway.

SERGEANT I'm not feelin' well at all thin. (Coughs) There's nothin' more deceptive than looks at times. (Coughs)

MRS. COTTER
True.

SERGEANT 'Tis in me bed I should be instead of troublin' dacent people like yourself a night like this. (Coughs) But duty is duty, an' it must be done. If I didn't do what I'm told, that bla'gard of a Head Constable would soon have another an' maybe a worse man in my place.

MRS. COTTER
The Lord save us!

SERGEANT But as herself says: There's no use in the Government makin' laws if the people don't keep them.

MRS. COTTER
That's so.

SERGEANT
Keepin' the world in order is no aisy business, ma'am.

MRS. COTTER
'Tis a great responsibility.

SERGEANT (drawing a chair to the fire and sitting down)
'Pon me word I'm tired an' cold too.

MRS. COTTER
Wouldn't ye go home and go to bed, Sergeant?

SERGEANT If I went to bed at this hour, the Head would send a report to his chum the Inspector, statin' that I was drunk. (Coughs)

MRS. COTTER
That's a bad cough. How long is it troublin' ye?

SERGEANT Only since supper time. I was eatin' a bit o' cold meat, an' a bone or somethin' stuck there. (Points at his throat)

MRS. COTTER
An' what did ye do for it?

SERGEANT
What could I do for it?

MRS. COTTER
Ye could take a drink o' somethin' an' wash it down.

SERGEANT
I tried some cold tea. (Coughs)

MRS. COTTER
I wonder would a bottle of stout do any good.

SERGEANT
'Twould be no harm to try.

MRS. COTTER
Will ye have a bottle?

SERGEANT To tell ye the truth, I don't like bein' disobligin', ma'am. (Coughs)

[Exit Mrs. Cotter. While she is away, he walks up and down, whistling the while.

MRS. COTTER (at door) Ye might as well come up-stairs, Sergeant. There's a fine fire in the sitting-room.

SERGEANT
I'm first rate where I am. Thank you all the same.

[Takes stout and finishes it without withdrawing it from his mouth. Coughs.

MRS. COTTER
How do you feel now?

SERGEANT (wiping his mouth with a large old handkerchief) 'Tis gone! I mean the bone. I feel meself again.

MRS. COTTER I'm glad of that. (Looking at clock) 'Tis gone half-past ten, Sergeant.

SERGEANT
Plenty o' time. We'll be a long time dead, an' happy
I hope.

MRS. COTTER
Amen!

SERGEANT 'Tis my belief that we should all try to do good while we're alive.

MRS. COTTER
There's a lot o' good people in the world, Sergeant.

SERGEANT There is, ma'am, but nearly every one o' them thinks that they're better than what they are. That's what annoys me.

MRS. COTTER
Sure 'tis imagination that keeps the world movin'.

SERGEANT Yes, an' ambition. All the same, 'tis a good job that people can't see themselves as they really are.

MRS. COTTER They wouldn't believe that they were themselves if they could.

SERGEANT
I suppose not.

MRS. COTTER
Won't ye come up to the fire in the sittin'-room?

SERGEANT Don't be worryin' about me. I'm all right. That was good stout.

MRS. COTTER
The best!

SERGEANT 'Tis a cure for nearly everythin'. Only for takin' a little now an' again, I'd never be able to stand all the hardships o' me profession.

MRS. COTTER
Hard work isn't easy.

SERGEANT True! But a good drop o' stout, or better still "spirits" makes many things easy. 'Tis the seed o' pluck, so to speak. I'm feelin' just a little queer about the nerves. I think I'll have a drop o' "Wise's."

[Exit Mrs. Cotter. While she is away he fills his pipe.

MRS. COTTER (entering with drink)
That's like the noise of a row down the road.

SERGEANT Erra, let 'em row away! The Head is prowlin' about. Let him separate 'em. 'Tis about time he did somethin' for his livin'. 'Tis a damn shame to have the poor rate payers supportin' the likes of him.

MRS. COTTER
I wouldn't be talkin' like that, Sergeant.

SERGEANT Why wouldn't I talk? There's as many Head Constables as clergy in the country, an' only for the sergeants an' an odd constable 'tis unknown what 'ud happen!

MRS.