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قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, November 26, 1892
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, November 26, 1892
Foreign Wonders and Novelties."
The majority of the Public is still outside, listening open-mouthed to a comic dialogue between the Showman and a juvenile and irreverent Nigger. Those who have come in find that, with the exception of some particularly tame-looking murderers' heads in glazed pigeon-holes, a few limp effigies stuck up on rickety ledges, and an elderly Cart-horse in low spirits, there is little to see at present.
Melia (to Joe, as they inspect the Cart-horse.) This 'ere can't never be the live 'orse with five legs, as they said was to be seen inside!
Joe. Theer ain't no other 'orse in 'ere, and why shouldn't it be 'im, if that's all?
Melia. Well, I don't make out no more'n four legs to'un, nohow, myself.
Joe. Don't ye be in sech a 'urry, now—the Show ain't begun yet!
"It's quoite tri-ew!"[The barrel-organ outside blares "God Save the Queen," and more Spectators come stumping down the wooden steps, followed by the Showman.
Showman. I shell commence this Exhibition by inviting your inspection of the wonderful live 'orse with five legs. (To the depressed Cart-horse.) 'Old up! (The poor beast lifts his off-fore-leg with obvious reluctance, and discloses a very small supernumerary hoof concealed behind the fetlock.) Examine it! for yourselves—two distinct 'oofs with shoes and nails complete—a great novelty!
Melia. I don't call that nothen of a leg, I don't—it ain't 'ardly a oof, even!
Joe (with phlegm). That's wheer th' old 'orse gits the larf on ye, that is!
Showman. We will now pass on to the Exhibition. 'Ere (indicating a pair of lop-sided Orientals in nondescript attire) we 'ave two life-sized models of the Japanese villagers who caused so much sensation in London on account o' their peculiar features—you will easily reckernise the female by her bein' the ugliest one o' the two. (Compassionate titters from the Spectators.) I will now call your attention to a splendid group, taken from English 'Istry, and set in motion by powerful machinery, repperesentin' the Parting Interview of Charles the First with his fam'ly. (Rolls up a painted canvas curtain, and reveals the Monarch seated, with the Duke of Gloucester on his knee, surrounded by Oliver Cromwell, and as many Courtiers, Guards, and Maids of Honour as can be accommodated in the limited space.) I will wind up the machinery and the unfortunate King will be seen in the act of bidding his fam'ly ajew for ever in this world.
[Charles begins to click solemnly and move his head by progressive jerks to the right, while the Little Duke moves his simultaneously to the left, and a Courtier in the background is so affected by the scene that he points with respectful sympathy at nothing; the Spectators do not commit themselves to any comments.
Showman (concluding a quotation from Markham). "And the little Dook, with the tears a-standin' in 'is heyes, replies, 'I will be tore in pieces fust!'" Other side, please! No, Mum, the lady in mournin' ain't the beautiful but ill-fated Mary, Queen o' Scots—it's Mrs. Maybrick, now in confinement for poisonin' her 'usban', and the figger close to her is the Mahdi, or False Prophet. In the next case we 'ave a subject selected from Ancient Roman 'Istry, bein' the story of Androcles, the Roman Slave, as he appeared when, escaping from his crule owners, he entered a cave and found a lion which persented 'im with 'is bleedin' paw. After some 'esitation, Androcles examined the paw, as repperesented before you. (Winds the machinery up, whereupon the lion opens his lower jaw and emits a mild bleat, while Androcles turns his head from side to side in bland surprise.) This lion is the largest forestbred and blackmaned specimen ever imported into this country—the other lion standing beyind (disparagingly), has nothing whatever to do with the tableau, 'aving been shot recently in Africa by Mr. Stanley, the two figgers at the side repperesent the Boy Murderers who killed their own father at Crewe with a 'atchet and other 'orrible barbarities. I shall conclude the Collection by showing you the magnificent group repperesentin' Her Gracious Majisty the Queen, as she appeared in 'er 'appier and younger days, surrounded by the late Mr. Spurgeon, the 'Eroes of the Soudan, and other Members of the Royal Fam'ly.
Inside the Circus.
After some tight-rope, juggling, and boneless performances have been given in the very limited arena, the Clown has introduced the Learned Pony.
Clown. Now, little Pony, go round the Company and pick me out the little boy as robs the Farmer's orchard.
[The Pony trots round, and thrusts his nose confidently into a Small Boy's face.
Small Boy (indignantly). Ye're a liar, Powney; so theer!
Clown. Now, see if you can find me the little gal as steals her mother's jam and sugar. Look sharp now, don't stand there playin' with yer bit!
A Little Girl (penitently, as the Accusing Quadruped halts in front of her). Oh, please, Pony, I won't never do it no more!
Clown. Now go round and pick me out the Young Man as is fond o' kissin' the girls and married ladies when their 'usbands is out o' the way. (The Pony stops before an Infant in Arms.) 'Ere, think what yer doin' now. You don't mean 'im, do you? (The Pony shakes his head.) Is it the Young Man standin' just beyind as is fond o' kissin the girls? (The Pony nods.) Ah, I thought so!
The Rustic Lothario (with a broad grin). It's quoite tri-ew!
Clown. Now I want you, little Pony, to go round and tell me who's the biggest rogue in the company. (Reassuringly, as the Pony goes round, and a certain uneasiness is perceptible among some of the spectators). I 'ope no Gentleman 'ere will be offended by bein' singled out, for no offence is intended,—it is merely a 'armless—(Finds the Pony at his elbow.) Why, you rascal! do you mean to say I'm the biggest rogue 'ere? (The Pony nods.) You've been round, and can't find a bigger rogue than me in all this company? (Emphatic shake of the head from Pony; secret relief of inner circle of Spectators.) You and me'll settle this later!
First Spectator (as audience disperses). That war a clever Pony, sart'nly!
Second Spect. Ah, he wur that. (Reflectively.) I dunno as I shud keer partickler 'bout 'avin of 'im, though!
In the Home of Mystery.
A small canvas booth with a raised platform, on which a Young Woman in short skirts has just performed a few elementary conjuring tricks before an audience of gaping Rustics.
The Showman. The Second Part of our Entertainment will consist of the