consideration, I believe if the Absolver taught the Art of Rebellion no more than Juvenal the Art of Pimping, the one would be respected in after Ages, as much as we know the other has in the former: But every one is Fool or Knave that is not of this Gentlemans kidney. A little while after, at the usual rate of his own accustom'd civility, he falls upon the Renown'd Shakespear, and says, Collier, p. 50. he is so guilty, that he is not fit to make an Evidence. Why now it 'twere possible for his Complexion to blush, there's ne're a Robe of any Friend Cardinal the Absolver has at Rome, that can be redder than his would be for such a Position: Nor does it end here, but is mixt with some more foolish and insolent Remarks in another place, upon the admirable Tragedy of Hamlet. And here he has no other way to shew his malice, but by ridiculously quibbling upon the prettiest Character in it, Collier, p. 10. the innocent young Virgin Ophelia, who, because the Poet makes her run mad for the death of her Father, and loss of her Lover, and consequently makes her sing and speak some idle extravagant things, as on such an occasion is natural, and at last drown her self, he very masterly tells us, the Poet, since he was resolv'd to drown her like a Kitten, should have set her a swimming a little sooner; to keep her alive, only to sully her Reputation, is very cruel. Yes, but I would fain ask Doctor Absolution in what she has sullied her Reputation, I am sure five hundred Audiences that have view'd her could never find it out, tho he has; but the Absolver can't help being positive and partial to his own humour, tho he were to be hang'd, as the Lady was drown'd, for he is very angry in another place with the aforesaid Author, for making Collier, p. 125. Sir Hugh Evens in the Merry Wives of Windsor, a silly, eating, chattering Welch Priest, but vindicates and speaks well, of Sir John, Parson of Wrotham, in the History of Sir John Oldcastle; tho he swears, games, wenches, pads, tilts and drinks, and does things which our Reformers Guts are ready to come up at another time, only, forsooth, because he is stout; but 'tis indeed only because he is a Parson, and sullen, which he thinks wise, for he cannot endure that Copyhold should be touch'd, as you may see more plainly a little further, where he says in Loves Labour Lost, the Curate plays the fool egregiously; and so does the Poet too: there he clenches the Nail, there he gives Shakespear a bold stroke, there obstinacy and malice appear in true colours: And yet if a parcel of the ones Plays, were set up by way of Auction against t'others Sermons and Essays; nay, tho the Loyal and Politick Desertion discussd was thrown in to boot, I know not what the Grave would do, but I am sure the Wise would quickly find difference. And yet to Remark him nicely, this humour of railing is only where the Poets do not suit with his design; for in another place you'll find this same Shakespear, that was before too guilty to make an Evidence, a very civil person now; for the Reformer is troubl'd with Fits, you must know, disturbances i th' brain, which makes him forget one hour what he rails at another, for here now        54 Shakespear's Falstaff is call'd the admir'd, because he is to serve his turn. And that the Poet was not so partial as to let his humour compound for his lewdness; but punishes him at last, tho he makes him all his life time a damnable, smutty fellow. And now, I think, having said enough of his modest behaviour, 'twon't be amiss to have a touch or two at his Hypocrisy. And first, concerning the word Smutt.

"Smutt, Smutt"! Why does this tarmagant Correcter of our Lives and Manners pretend to make us believe that his Mouth or Conscience is so streight, that the t'other word can't get passage, or did his Mistress (honourable I mean) sit knotting under his Nose when he was writing, and so gave occasion for the changing it instead of Bawdy, that that odious word might not offend her, tho the Phrase was made Nonsence by it—hum—No faith, the case seems to me now to be quite otherwise, and really the effect of downright Hypocrisy, unless done as I said for the last reason; for those that have read his Book, may find sprinkling up and down the other words extreamly plain upon occasion, Ribaldry and Bawdy, and Whores, and Whoring, and Strumpets, and Cuckoldmakers, with as fat a signification as any of the last nam'd could wish for their hearts; for example, by way of Tract, first, he says, Collier, p. 30, 32. Euripides in his Hipolitus, calls Whoring stupidness and playing the fool; and secondly, does Ribaldry, (not Smut) and Nonsence become the dignity of their station. Again, p. 74. Berinthia incourages Amanda to play the Whore; and then sowse upon Don Quixot, when there is not so much as one little tiny todpol of Smut, that I know of, unless he creates it—Yet I am Crambo'd with, p. 208.
p. 178. who, with low, nauseous Bawdry fills his Plays. Again speaking of Jupiter and Alcmena—but her Lover—that is her Whore-master. And at last with a Rowzer upon Mr Congreeve's Double Dealer, where he particularly Remarks, p. 12. that there are but four Ladies in his Play, and three of em are Whores; adding, withal, that 'tis a great Compliment to Quality, to tell em there is but a quarter of 'em honest. Why who, in the name of Diana, and all the rest of the Maiden Goddesses, does tell 'em so, unless it be Doctor Crambo here—If any one calls 'em Whores 'tis he, he that by an assum'd Authority thinks he may say any thing; the Ladies, I dare say for the Poet, were drest in such clean Linnen, and were so far from being Tawdry, that no Scrutineer but our severe Master of Art but wou'd have thought Charitably of 'em. Well, but huge Rampant Whores they must be with him tho, and through that very mouth that simper'd and primm'd before, as if such a filthy word cou'd not possibly break through: It comes out now in sound and emphasis, and the modest Pen is as prone and ready to write it. So that I once more affirm, that if it were not done in respect to his Lady, who, no doubt, peruses him extreamly, it must naturally be the effect of Hypcrisie, for, to be squeamish in one place and not in another is Ridiculous, especially when one word is Innocent in its kind, and makes the sense, and the other when us'd makes it wretched Affectation, and almost Nonsence.

Now if the Absolver thought Affectation would appear a vertue in him, he ought to have squeamifyed the before-mention'd Ladies with some title that was new, and if Smutt was chosen to be his fine darling word (and the course one of Whores slipt out of his Mouth, or from his Pen, by misfortune or chance) he should, in my opinion, have given 'em the title of Smutters: a primming neat word extremely proper for the occasion: And I hope I shall live to see the Master of Art have Modesty enough to thank me for't; or else (for my fancy wou'd fain oblige him if it cou'd) to make it yet more German to the matter, as Shakespear has it, to call em Colliers would be as significant as any thing; for there's allusion enough to Smutt, or the Devil's in't: For, to deal sincerely, and without Hypocrisie, I