The Project Gutenberg eBook, Three Plays, by Zora Neale Hurston

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Title: Three Plays Lawing and Jawing; Forty Yards; Woofing

Author: Zora Neale Hurston

Release Date: November 29, 2005 [eBook #17187]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)

***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THREE PLAYS***

E-text prepared by Charlene Taylor and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net/) from page images generously provided by the American Memory Project of the Library of Congress (http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/)

Note: These plays have been transcribed from original manuscripts. There are pencilled notations possibly by Ms. Hurston herself. These pencilled notations have been transcribed as *[Handwritten:(text)], with the exception of things that were clearly corrected typing mistakes. Uncorrected typographical errors were left as in the original. Words which were underlined in the text are enclosed by underscores ("_").

      Images of the original pages are available through the
      American Memory Collection of the Library of Congress.
      For "Lawing and Jawing" see
      http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/S?ammem/hurstonbib:@field(TITLE+@od1(Lawing+and+Jawing))
      For "Forty Yards" see
      http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/S?ammem/hurstonbib:@field(TITLE+@od1(Forty+Yards))
      For "Woofing" see
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THREE PLAYS

Lawing and Jawing
Forty Yards
Woofing

by

Zora Neale Hurston

LAWING AND JAWING

by Zora *[Handwritten: (Neale)] Hurston

TIME: Present

PLACE: Way cross Georgia

SCENE: Judge Dunfumy's Court.

PERSONS: Judge Dunfumy, Officer Simpson and another, Jemima
               Flapcakes, Cliff Mullins, John Barnes, two lawyers,
               a clerk, a pretty girl and her escort.

SETTING: Usual court-room arrangement, except that there is a
               large red arrow pointing off-stage left, marked
               "To Jail."

ACTION: At rise everybody is in place except the Judge. Suddenly the CLERK looks off-stage right and motions for everybody to rise. Enter the JUDGE. He wears a black cap and gown and has his gavel in his hand. The two POLICEMEN walk behind him holding up his gown. He mounts the bench and glares all about him before he seats himself. There is a PRETTY GIRL in the front row left, and he takes a good look at her, smiles, frowns at her escort. He motions the police to leave him and take their places with the spectators and he then raps vigorously with his gavel for order.

JUDGE
Hear! Hear! Court is set! My honor is on de bench. You moufy folks set
up!
                             (He glares at the boy with the pretty girl)
All right, Mr. Whistle-britches, just keep up dat jawing now and see
how much time I'll give you!

BOY
I wasn't talking, your honor.

JUDGE Well, quit looking so moufy. (to CLERK) Call de first case. And I warn each and all dat my honor is in bad humor dis mawnin'. I'd give a canary bird twenty years for peckin' at a elephant. (to CLERK) Bring 'em on.

CLERK
                             (Reading)
Cliff Mullins, charged with assault upon his wife with a weapon and
disturbing the peace.
                             (As CLIFF is led to the bar by the
                             officer, the JUDGE glares ferociously
                             at the prisoner. His wife, all
                             bandages, limps up to the bar at the
                             same time.)

JUDGE So youse one of dese hard-boiled wife-beaters, huh? Just a mean old woman-Jessie! If I don't lay a hearing on you, God's a gopher! Now what made you cut such a caper?

CLIFF
Judge, I didn't go hunt her. Saturday night I was down on Dearborn
Street in a nasty ditch *[Handwritten: nasty ditch crossed out in
pencil, (buffet flat)]—

JUDGE
A nasty ditch? *[Handwritten: A nasty ditch crossed out in pencil,
(Buffet flat)]

CLIFF
Aw, at Emma Hayles' house.

JUDGE
Oh, yes. Go on.

CLIFF Well, (Points thumb at wife) she come down dere and claim I took her money and she claimed I wuz spending it on Emma.

CLIFF'S WIFE
And dat's just whut he was doing, too, Judge.

CLIFF AW, she's tellin' a great big ole Georgia lie, Judge. I wasn't spendin' no money of her'n.

WOMAN Yes he was, Judge. There wasn't no money for him to git but mine. He ain't hit a lick of work since God been to Macon. Know whut he 'lowed when I worry him 'bout workin'? Says he wouldn't take a job wid de Careless Love Lumber Company, puttin' out whut make you do me lak you do, do, do.

JUDGE
So, you goes for a sweet-back, do you?

CLIFF
Naw suh, Judge. I'd be glad to work if I could find a job.

JUDGE
How long you been outa work?

CLIFF
Seventeen years—

JUDGE
Seventeen years?
                             (to woman)
You been takin' keer of dis man for seventeen years?

WOMAN Naw, but he been so mean to me, it seems lak seventeen years.

JUDGE
Now you tell me just where he hurt you.

WOMAN
Judge, tell you de truth, I'm hurt all over.
                             (Rubs her buttocks)