yes; and I'm Charley's Aunt, and Robert's Cousin."

The P. S. "Dear me! Fancy that!"

Charley's Aunt, by Mr. Brandon Thomas, is distinctly related to The Private Secretary; and Mr. Penley, as Lord Babberley, is second cousin to the Rev. Mr. Spalding, who, as the Private Secretary, obtained so distinguished a position in the theatrical world not so many years ago. As a play, The Private Secretary had a strange history, seeing that it began as a failure, had an Act cut out of it, and, surviving this severe operation, grew into an enormous success, then went "so strong" as to be able to keep on running in London, the Provinces, our Colonies, and America, for some years.

Charley's Aunt, however, has experienced no such downs and ups, being born to the rouge-pot as heiress of the great success which The Private Secretary had only gradually, though surely, achieved. Yet 'tis a matter for question whether the latter was not the better piece, dramatically, of the two, having, besides its own comic situations, two irresistibly diverting characters, represented by little Penley and mountainous Hill, both playing into one another's hands.

There are very few comparatively dull moments in Charley's Aunt, and these arise from faulty construction necessitating occasional explanations which come as dampers in the midst of the uproarious fun whereat the house has been shaking its sides and even weeping with laughter. And the awkwardness of these pauses in the action is still further emphasised by their being filled up with either commonplace narrative, or with a kind of cheap sentimentality quite at variance with the general tone of the piece. Were this slight blemish removed, the longevity of Charley's Aunt would, it is more than probable, equal that of The Private Secretary.

All the parts are well played. Mr. Brandon Thomas has not given himself much of a chance as Colonel Chesney, who bears a strong family resemblance to the heavy dragoon in the Pantomime Rehearsal. The young men, Messrs. Percy Lyndal and Farmer, have plenty of "go"—it would be "little go" were they Cantabs—as the two undergraduates, young enough to be still up at College completing their education, yet old enough to propose and be accepted as eligible husbands. But in a rattling three-act farce as this is intended to be, any exaggeration is sufficiently probable as long only as it is thoroughly amusing; and, it be added, in such a piece, sentiment is as much out of place as would be plain matter-of-fact conduct or dialogue. To see Mr. Penley in the elderly Aunt's dress is to convulse the house without his uttering a word. To see him enjoying himself with the young ladies while threatened by their lovers, who cannot take them away without compromising themselves, is delicious. Then, when after dinner he is alone with the ladies, and having been informed by the scout—capitally impersonated by Mr. Cecil Thornbury—in a whisper, what story it is that the gentlemen find so amusing, he goes into fits of laughter, and subsequently, when after one of the ladies has told a story which makes the girls laugh, he inquires "Is that all?" and being answered that it is, he cannot refrain from expressing, in very strong language, his opinion of the stupidity of the anecdote he has just heard, and then is seized with a perfect convulsion of laughter,—in all this he is most heartily joined by the entire audience, who laugh with him and at him. Altogether in this piece Mr. Penley is inimitably and irresistibly funny.

The piece has one other merit which is not the least among its attractions, that is, that it begins at nine punctually and is over by eleven, thus yielding two hours of all-but continuous merriment.

SIMPLE STORIES.

"Be always kind to animals wherever you may be!"

ELSIE AND THE MACAW.

Elsie was growing a big girl, and though she was still in short frocks, she gave herself airs, and had ideas about dress, and sometimes was tempted to argue with her dear Mamma and give her a pert answer. She was, however in high glee just now, because she had been invited by her Aunt Dabblechick to a pic-nic with a lot of other little boys and girls. She made a great fuss about her dress, she studied The Queen, and The Gentlewoman, and other papers devoted to this important subject, and worried her poor Mamma with all sorts of silly suggestions. The costume, however, was at last arranged, and the little goose was cross because her Mamma would not allow her to have a blue feather in her hat. Elsie, like a naughty child, determined that she would, by some means or other, have this feather.

How to obtain one was the difficulty. At last it struck her that the splendid Macaw, a gift from her Uncle, Admiral Sangarorum, brought from Brazil, had some lovely feathers of about the right tint.

Taking a few lumps of sugar with her, she paid a visit to the conservatory where "Lord Macawley," as he was called, swung all day and shrieked. She felt how naughty she was, but her overweening vanity quite stifled her conscience. She scratched the bird's poll, treated him to several lumps of sugar, and, when he was not looking, suddenly jerked one of the finest feathers out of his tail.

"Lord Macawley" screamed furiously, and Elsie was terribly frightened for fear she should be discovered. She, however, ran away with her prize, and carefully fixed it in her hat.

The next morning when she was ready to start, and James was waiting with the pony-chaise to drive her over to her Aunt's, her Mamma, who was gathering flowers in the conservatory, sent for her to see that she looked nice before starting. Very pretty the little girl looked in her peacock blue dress, her snowy frills, her black-silk stockings, and Oxford shoes.

Her hat was trimmed with ribbon to match her dress, and her feather so artfully intertwined, that she hoped her Mamma would not notice it. It certainly would have passed without observation, but, just as Elsie was tripping away, "Lord Macawley" saw her.

He set up a fiendish scream, and then said, "G-r-r! Gr-r-r! Who stole my feather?" over and over again.

Elsie turned scarlet. Mamma removed and inspected the hat, and, the little girl was promptly packed off to bed, where she was left to shed many tears over her folly for the rest of the day.

Mamma keeps the blue feather, which she shows to her little girl whenever she is inclined to be disobedient or vain. The exhibition usually has a magical effect.

THE SNOW CURE!!

Fiendish Little Boy (to Elderly Gentleman, who has come a cropper for the fourth time in a hundred yards). "'Ere I say, Guvn'or, you're fair, Wallerin' in it this mornin'! H'anyone 'ud think as you'd bin hordered it by your Medical Man!!!"

THE NEXT EGYPTIAN LESSON.

Scene—Interior of the Sanctum of the Young