class="sc">Khedive. Present, his Highness. To him enter the British Representative.

British Rep. I think your Highness desired to see me?

Khedive. Certainly, my dear Lord. I wish to express once again my great regret that I could have done, or said, or thought anything without taking your advice. You have quite forgiven me?

Brit. Rep. (in a tone of respectful annoyance). Thank you very much, your Highness; but as I am exceptionally busy this morning, I think, if you have nothing more to say to me, I will do myself the honour of taking my departure.

Khe. Oh no—a thousand times, no! Are you not aware that I am very European in tastes, am fond of books, and have a hobby in a small aquarium?

British Rep. So I have read, your Highness, in a London evening paper. And now, if you will permit me, I will——

Khe. Oh no—don't go, I promised you I would consult you in every important matter—and I mean to keep my word.

British Rep. I am glad to hear your Highness say so; and I can answer for Her Majesty's Government being extremely gratified at the report of this conversation. I shall make a point of communicating with the Premier forthwith. And now, with your Highness's gracious permission, I will take my leave.

Khe. What a hurry you are in! I have got a lot of important things to consult you about, and yet you won't wait a moment! I say, it's not treating a fellow fairly!

Brit. Rep. (grieved). I trust your Highness will not repeat that observation after due consideration. But to show you my anxiety to meet your Highness's wishes, I will sacrifice the examination of a promising scheme to make the Nile nine and a half times as productive as it is now, to listen to you.

Khe. You are very good. Well, what do you think of my dressing-gown?

British Rep. Capital—in every way capital. But surely you didn't want to talk about that?

Khe. Oh, yes, I did! Would you advise me to have it trimmed with any more fur?

British Rep. I should imagine it was more a matter of taste than politics.

Khe. Oh, hang politics! What do you think about my dressing-gown? Would your Government recommend fur?

British Rep. I think, under the circumstances, I can act on my own responsibility without further reference to Her Majesty's Government. Yes, by all means, have fur.

Khe. I am infinitely obliged to you. Fact is, I told my tailor I thought I would have fur, but I did not like to give the order without your advice.

British Rep. I trust your Highness accepts my assurance that Her Majesty's Government are most anxious to prevent you from appearing in a false position.

Khe. It's most civil of you to say so. Then I will have fur.

British Rep. And now, if your Highness no longer requires my presence——.

Khe. (interrupting). But I do. As I have already said, I've a lot of things to ask you. Now, I want to know whether it would be to the benefit of the fellaheen if I visited the theatre more frequently?

British Rep. Your Highness will use your own discretion. I think I may say, without further reference to Downing Street, that Her Majesty's Government will have not the slightest objection to your Highness indulging in any innocent recreation.

Khe. Come—that's very good of them. But don't go. Look here. There will be no great harm if I wear brown leather boots?

British Rep. I think not, if your Highness, by the exhibition of such a preference, does not wound the susceptibilities of other Powers. And now, your Highness, with your permission, I think I must withdraw.

Khe. Very well. If you won't stay any longer I suppose you won't. If I want any more advice I will send over to you.

British Rep. I am extremely obliged to your Highness.

[Bows, and exit.

Khe. Glad he's gone! And now that I have consulted him about everything, I think I will have a little recreation on my own account. What shall I do? Oh, I know, I will dismiss the entire Ministry!

[Does so.

(Curtain.)

"Going Strong."—At the Court Theatre the Pantomime Rehearsal in which Messrs. Brookfield and Weedon have a capital duet, is just as fresh as ever. Quite a new piece with all the old fun in it. "Equestrian Scenes in the Circle," might now be added, as they've got a performing Palfrey who does a very pretty scherzo or skirt-show dance. "Good entertainment for"—everybody.

Vice Versâ on the Stage.—Re-appearance of Mr. and Mrs. Bancroft at Hare's Theatre. When Mr. Hare made his first appearance in London it was at Mr. and Mrs. Bancroft's Theatre. And Diplomacy is to be revived. This move is most diplomatic.

"Happiness In ——."—Professor St. George Mivart will be glad to learn that a telegram from New York, dated the 19th instant, contained the following interesting item of intelligence.—"A vast quantity of ice is now at Hell Gate."

Depreciation of Gold!—"Guinea Fowls" were sold in the Market last week at from 2s. 5d. to 3s. 6d.! and a Plover Golden, was to be had for ninepence!!

What with The Daily Bourse and dustmen who refuse to remove the Drury-Lane refuse, our Sir Augustus Duriolanus has been, of late, considerably Harris'd.

Motto for the Ladies who Become Members of Mrs. Stannard's "Anti-Crinoline League."—"All hoops abandon ye who enter here."

Great Britain is a country per se—so is every Island, as it is only per sea it can be reached.

MAKING THE BEST OF IT.

"Good Morning, Uncle Charles! Did you Sleep well? I'm afraid your Bed was rather hard and uneven; but——"

"Oh, it was all right, thanks! I got up now and then during the Night, and rested a bit, you know!"

MISCHIEF!

["As regards Home Rule, I did not, of course, say that there were only three Home-Rulers in the world—Mr. Gladstone, Mr. Morley, and myself. I said that ... there were no stronger Home-Rulers, except myself, than Mr. Gladstone and Mr. Morley in Parliament."—Mr. H. Labouchere, in a Letter to the "Times."

"Monkeys and parrots show much analogy in character and habits; they both possess extraordinary powers of imitation, which they exercise in copying man and his peculiarities. Monkeys 'take off' his gestures, and parrots his speech."—Napier's "Book of Nature and Man."