class="ind1">"Grim rather at first, but grows upon one wonderfully;"
i.e., "He is softening a little beneath my blandishments."

Railroad Amenities.

"Would you like the window up;"
i.e., "Hope to goodness she won't, for her patchouli is simply suffocating."

"If you feel inclined for a snack, don't mind me;"
i.e.,"The scent of sherry and sandwiches in a close carriage is simply sickening."

Preparing for Private Theatricals.

"I defer to your superior knowledge of stage-effect;"
i.e., "Stuck-up know-all! I could play his head off!"

"Well, I fear it's a little out of my line; still if I can do anything to help you, I shall be delighted;"
i.e., "What I've longed for for years. Now I shall have a chance of showing what's in me!"

"Bravo, Buffins, dear boy! That little bit of business was really first-rate;"
i.e., "If he plays like that I shall shine, if only by contrast."

QUITE A LITTLE BANC(ROFT) HOLIDAY!

Mrs. Bancroft's "Little Play" is very good work. It is called The Riverside; it drew a big Matinée house at the Haymarket last Thursday, and drew big tears. The ladies did enjoy themselves! They were in full cry all the time. Capitally acted. It is rumoured that the gifted authoress, manageress, and actress (all in one), is going to take a company up the river in a House-boat fitted as a Theatre. It is to be called The Thespis, and will visit all the principal places on the river during the Season, and ought to do uncommonly well. The idea is novel. The Company will be called "The Bancroft Water-Babies." À propos of the Busy B.'s, we are authorised to contradict the report that, in consequence of his great success as an arbitrator, Mr. Bancroft is to be made a Deputy-Assistant County Court Judge. This is not so.

The First Roze of Summer.—Our Chirruping Critic off the hearth went to Madame Marie Roze's Concert the other day—advertised as "Grand Morning Concert"—well, it was a "Grand Morning" for the time of year—but why was the Concert "Grand?"—and was delighted. The Chirruper heartily welcomed Miss Grace Damian—more graceful than ever—she sang grandly—of course everyone did on this "grand" occasion—and he nearly split a pair of gloves applauding Mr. Leo Stern in his Grand Violoncello act, for which he was recalled three times, till he was quite tired of bowing and "boo'ing." But the Chirruper would not have it otherwise, "Touch not a single bow," as the song says. And then the flowers! five bouquets for Madame Marie Roze. "The flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la!" as the late firm of Gilbert and Sullivan used to sing and play. À propos of Mr. Gilbert, his protégée, Miss Neilson, whom he was the first to bring out in Brantingham Hall, St. James's, S.W., gave a recitation which made a decided hit; and then she sang a song—accomplished young lady is Miss Julia—which made another hit. The Chirruper wishes to record that—to a quartette "specially arranged for the Meister Glee Singers", called Dinah Doe, and excellently sung, no names were given of either the Shakspearian Librettist, or the Composer, J. L. Molloy, who wrote it for the German Reeds many years ago. It's as fresh as ever, and at this grand concert came out grandly. The Steinway piano was of course a grand.

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, May 19.—Old Morality in new and charming mood to-night; turned over a fresh leaf in his copybook; entered upon the chapter headed "Banter;" not only enjoyed himself, but was cause of enjoyment in others. Esslemont began it; doled out, as if it were ounce of tea or yard and quarter of calico, ponderous joke about having no Holiday at Whitsuntide, and adding three days to Recess at end of Session.

"I will take a note of the Hon. Member's recommendation," said Old Morality.

"Such badinage! such
persiflage!"

Nobody laughs when I tell this; yet, remember, House roared whilst Old Morality, resuming seat, sat with pursed-up lips and furrowed brow, fearful lest he should spoil situation by smiling. Must have told the joke wrong; look up Parliamentary Reports. No, there it is, the very words; also his retort to Tim Healy; his turning the flank of Harcourt; his triumphant knocking over of Tim, when, after brief pause, he came up again.

"Such badinage!" said Charles Wilson, "such persiflage!"

So it seemed at time. Everyone roared with delight.

"Quite in Dizzy's style," said the admiring Stanhope.

"Only better," added the ecstatic Georgy Hamilton.

Thought so too at the time; but when I come to write down the jokes, the fun has gone, the flavour escaped, the bloom shed. Wonder what it was we all laughed at?

"You do your best," said the Member for Sark, always ready with kindly remark, "but you can't bring Old Morality and all he is to us on your written page. His voice, his looks, his way of getting up and of sitting down, his throwing back his head and thrusting forward his chin as he mouths his apophthegm, his nervous glance round the House, his assumption of a stern official aspect, breaking presently into a smile when the House laughs; his apologetic way of sitting on the edge of the seat when he has snubbed Harcourt; all his goodness, his littleness, his honest intention, and his occasional lapses into crooked paths; his 'Certainly, Sir,' when the thing is quite otherwise, his blush when he discovers himself dealing with facts in a Pickwickian sense, his constitutional modesty, and his spasmodic aggressiveness, the look in his eye as of a wounded hare when Courtney refuses to put the Closure he has moved,—all these are things, little in themselves, momentary in their passage, which you, dear Toby, can no more transfer to your folios than you can illuminate them with the glow of sunset, or perfume them with the scent of country lanes in this sweet spring-time. Old Morality belongs to us. He is a peculiar growth of the House of Commons, unique, unprecedented, unapproachable, never fully to be understanded of, or appreciated by, the people."

Business done.—Battling round Budget Bill; sat all night, and far into morning.

Going down to the House.

Tuesday.—