and Second-rate First Nights.

Q. Did you assist at the première of Gretna Green, the new "Comedy Opera" at the Opéra Comique?

A. An Act of it. It had already been played on a previous occasion, when I fancy one of the principal performers, finding that his part was dragging, introduced imitations of popular modern actors. As the period of Gretna Green is the eighteenth century, this innovation must have been at once pleasing and appropriate.

Q. I think you have also been present at the first performance of the "Wild East," at the Earl's Court Exhibition?

A. I have had that advantage, and am now thoroughly conversant with the manners and customs of our lively neighbours in some parts of Africa.

Q. Are those manners and customs what may be termed—quaint?

A. They are very quaint. Still I am not sure that I have not seen something very like them before. As for the Exhibition itself, there is as little doubt about its being French, as there was about last year's display being Spanish.

Q. Have you been to the Flower Show at the Aquarium?

A. I have; but did not find that home of scientific research quite so full as it was when the Directors were testing the powers of endurance of the Fasting Man.

Q. Do you consider the Westminster Aquarium of material assistance in developing the latent civilisation of the nineteenth century?

A. Indeed, I do; especially now that "the Royal Bears" are a feature in the daily programme.

Q. Did you pass the Bank Holiday pleasantly?

A. When I tell you that I seized the opportunity to go to Calais and back third-class excursion with a number of anti-temperance-movement fellow passengers, you will see at once that the festival must have been to me a source of unmixed enjoyment!

THE ARGUMENT BY ANALOGY.

Mariar Ann. "What a beautiful 'Ouse, Miss! What a lot o' Rent you must 'ave to pay! I suppose Ladies and Gentlemen do pay Rent?"

Daughter of the House. "Of course they do."

Mariar Ann. "What a deal o' trouble your Father must 'ave, to get it together every Week!"

"COUNTRY AND DUTY."

Old Morality (in flannels) sings;—