Benevolent Old Gentleman. "Now then, little boy. What do you mean by bullying that little girl? Don't you know it's very cruel?"

Rude Little Boy. "Garn! wot's the trouble? She's my Sweetheart!"

Grandpapa. "Well little lady, will you give me a lock of that pretty hair of yours?" Marjory. "Yes, granpa'; but"—(hesitating)—"I don't fink one lock would be enough, would it?"

"DADDY'S WAISTCOAT"

(Sketched from Life in Drury Lane.)

A STORY WITHOUT WORDS

The Case for the Defence.—Mother. Oh, Dicky, what terrible things you do keep in your pockets! Fancy, a dead crab!

Dicky. Well, mother, it wasn't dead when I put it there!

Happy Thought.—"Why, my boy, you've spelt window without an N! Don't you know the difference between a window and a widow?"

"Yes, sir. You can see through one—and—and—you can't see through the other, sir!"

The Young Idea Again.—(Scene—Fourth-standard room of an elementary school. Children reading.) Inspector (to the Teacher). What are they reading about?

Teacher. American Indians.

Inspector. I will ask them a few questions. (To children.) What is a Red Indian's wife called? (Many hands up). Tell me.

Scholar. A squaw, sir.

Inspector. What is a Red Indian's baby called? (Silence. At last a boy volunteers.) Well, my boy?

Boy. Please, sir, a squaker!

A CAUTION TO LITTLE BOYS AT THIS FESTIVE SEASON

Mamma. "Why, my dearest Albert, what are you crying for?—so good, too, as you have been all day!"

Spoiled Little Boy. "Boo-hoo! I've eaten so—m-much be-eef and t-turkey, that I can't eat any p-p-plum p-p-pudding!"

    [Oh, what a very greedy little fellow.

A Modern Paris.—Schoolmaster. Now, boys, supposing that the goddesses Diana, Venus, and Juno were to appear before you, what would you do with this