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قراءة كتاب Rachel Gray: A Tale Founded on Fact

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‏اللغة: English
Rachel Gray: A Tale Founded on Fact

Rachel Gray: A Tale Founded on Fact

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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understood it all—the friend of Molly, her officious deliverer, was a pick-pocket She hung down her head and sighed, dismayed and astonished, not at her loss, but at the sin. "Ah! dear Lord Jesus," she thought, full of sorrow, "that thou shouldst thus be crucified anew by the sins of thy people!" Then followed the perplexing inward question: "Oh! why is there so much sin?" "God knows best," was the inward reply, and once more calm and serene, Rachel went on. At first, she hardly knew where she was. She stood in a dark thoroughfare where three streets met—three narrow streets that scarcely broke on the surrounding gloom. Hesitatingly she took the first. It happened to be that which she wanted. When Rachel recognized it, her pace slackened, her heart beat, her colour came and went, she was much moved; she prayed too—she prayed with her whole heart, but she walked very slowly. And thus she reached at length a lonely little street not quite so gloomy as that which she had been following.

She paused at the corner shop for a moment. It was a second-hand ironmonger's; rusty iron locks, and rusty tongs and shovels, and rusty goods of every description kept grim company to tattered books and a few old pictures, that had contracted an iron look in their vicinity. A solitary gas-light lit the whole.

Rachel stopped and looked at the books, and at the pictures, but only for a few seconds. If she stood there, it was not to gaze with passing curiosity on those objects; she knew them all of old, as she knew every stone of that street; it was to wait until the flush of her cheek had subsided, and the beating of her heart had grown still.

At length she went on. When she reached the middle of the street she paused; she stood near a dark house, shrouded within the gloom of its doorway. Opposite her, on the other side of the way, was a small shop lit from within. From where she stood, Rachel could see everything that passed in that abode. A carpenter lived there, for the place was full of rough deal boards standing erect against the wall, and the floor was heaped high with shavings. Presently a door within opened, the master of the shop entered it, and set himself to work by the light of a tallow candle. He was a tall, thin man, grey-headed and deeply wrinkled, but strong and hale for his years. As he bent over his work, the light of the candle vividly defined his angular figure and sharp features. Rachel looked at him; her eyes filled with tears, she brushed them away with her hand, for they prevented her from seeing, but they returned thicker and faster.

"Oh! my father, my father!" she cried within her heart, "why must I stand here in darkness looking at you? why cannot I go in to you, like other daughters to their father? why do you not love your child?" Her heart seemed full to bursting; her eyes overflowed, her breathing was broken by sobs, and in the simple and pathetic words of Scripture, she turned away her head, and raised her voice and wept aloud.

Rachel Gray was the daughter of the grey-headed carpenter by a first wife; soon after whose death he had married again. Mrs. Gray was his second wife, and the mother of his youngest daughter. She was kind in her way, but that was at the best a harsh one. Rachel was a timid, retiring child, plain, awkward, and sallow, with nothing to attract the eye, and little to please the fancy. Mrs. Gray did not use her ill certainly, but neither did she give her any great share in her affections. And why and how should a step-mother have loved Rachel when her own father did not? when almost from her birth she had been to him as though she did not exist—as a being who, uncalled for and unwanted, had come athwart his life. Never had he, to her knowledge, taken her in his arms, or on his knee; never had he kissed or caressed her; never addressed to her one word of fondness, or even of common kindness. Neither, it is true, had he ill-used nor ill-treated her; he felt no unnatural aversion for his own flesh and blood, nothing beyond a deep and incurable indifference. For her, his heart remained as a barren and arid soil on which the sweet flower of love could never bloom.

There was but one being in this narrow circle who really and fondly loved Rachel Gray. And this was Jane, her little half-sister. Rachel was her elder by full five years. When she was told one morning that Jane was born, she heard the tidings with silent awe, then with eager curiosity, climbed up on a chair to peep at the rosy baby fast asleep in its cradle. From that day, she had but one thought—her little sister. How describe the mingled love and pride with which Rachel received the baby, when it was first confided to her care, and when to her was allotted the delightful task of dragging about in her arms a heavy, screaming child? And who but Rachel found Jane's first tooth? Who but Rachel taught Jane to speak; and taught her how to walk? Who else fulfilled for the helpless infant and wilful child every little office of kindness and of love, until at length there woke in her own childish heart some of that maternal fondness born with woman, the feeling whence her deepest woes and her highest happiness alike must spring. When her father was unkind, when her step-mother was hasty, Rachel turned for comfort to her little sister. In her childish caresses, and words, and ways, she found solace and consolation. She did not feel it hard that she was to be the slave of a spoiled child, to wash, comb, and dress her, to work for her, to carry her, to sing to her, to play with her, and that, not when she liked, but when it pleased Jane. All this Rachel did not mind—Jane loved her. She knew it, she was sure of it; and where there is love, there cannot be tyranny.

Thus the two sisters grew up together, until one day, without previous warning, Thomas Gray went off to America, and coolly left his wife and children behind. Mrs. Gray was a good and an upright woman; she reared her husband's child like her own, and worked for both, without ever repining at the double burden. When her husband returned to England, after three years' absence, Mrs. Gray lost no time in compelling him to grant her a weekly allowance for herself, and for the support of her children. Thomas Gray could not resist the claim; but he gave what the law compelled him to give, and no more. He never returned to live with his wife; he never expressed a wish to see either of his daughters.

He had been back some years when little Jane died at thirteen. She died, dreaming of heaven, with her hand in that of Rachel, and her head on Rachel's bosom. She died, blessing her eldest sister with her last breath, with love for her in the last look of her blue eyes, in the last smile of her wan lips. It was a happy death-bed—one to waken hope, not to call forth sorrow; and yet what became of the life of Rachel when Jane was gone? For a long time it was a dreary void—a melancholy succession of days and weeks and months, from which the happy light had fled—from which something sweet and delightful was gone for ever.

For, though it may be sweeter to love, than to be loved, yet it is hard always to give and never to receive in return; and when Jane died, Rachel knew well enough that all the love she had to receive upon earth, had been given unto her. Like the lost Pleiad, "seen no more below," the bright star of her life had left the sky. It burned in other heavens with more celestial light; but it shone no longer over her path—to cheer, to comfort, to illume.

Mrs. Gray was kind; after her own fashion, she loved Rachel. They had grieved and suffered together from the same sorrows, and kindred griefs can bind the farthest hearts; but beyond this there was no sympathy between them, and Mrs. Gray's affection, such as it was, was free from a particle of tenderness.

She was not naturally a patient or an amiable woman; and she had endured great and unmerited wrongs from Rachel's

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