INTERNATIONAL COMPARISONS

Henri Dubois (who can speak English) to his friend 'Arry Smith (who can't). "Pardon me, mon ami! You are very pretty boy, you dress in ze most perfect 'chic'; but vy do you speak your own language so ungrammaticallé?"

'Arry. "Why do I speak my hown langwidge so hungrammatical? 'Ang it, yer down't suppowse as I were hedgerkited at Heton or 'Arrow like a bloomin' swell, do yer?"

Henri. "Voyez donc ça! Now in France zere is no Eton, no Harrow: all ze public schools are ze same, and ze butcher and baker's little boys go zere, and ze little candlestick-makers, and ze little boys of ze merchants of cheese like you and me!"

'Arry. "Come, I s'y, Walker, yer know! And where do their customers' little boys go?"

Henri. "Parbleu! Zey go zere too!!"

    ['Arry, suddenly conscious of his deficiencies, feels bitterly towards his country.

"DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES"

Old Gentleman. "Are you certain that these life-belts are cork, and not half sawdust?"

Storeman. "They are the best quality. We have sold hundreds, and never had a complaint!"

Foreign Hotels.

"What!—No Soap!"—"Oh—er—juste regardez ici, mademoiselle! Vous nous avez chargé pour le savon—et nous ne l'avons pas usé, vous savez, car——"

"Oh, mamma! How can you!"

    [Poor things! they had brought their own.]

The Last Thing Out.

Sensation created every morning at Crevetteville-sur-Mer by Colonel F—— (of the Guards) and the lovely Lady Magnolia D——.

The Personal Equation.

Ducal Butler (showing art treasures of Stilton Castle). "The three Graces—after Canova!"

Mrs Ramsbotham. "How interesting! And pray, which is the present Duchess?"