قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch On Tour: The Humour of Travel at Home and Abroad
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Her Husband (going on the Continent). "Look here, Arabella, from now you and I will speak nothing but French."
Arabella. "Oui."
Her Husband. "What did you say?"
"EASIER SAID THAN DONE"
Stout Traveller (in the Eastern Counties). "My lad—which is the—quickest way—for me to get to the station?"
Street Arab. "Wh' run bo'! 'th' else yeow'll sartain'y lewse th' tr'ine! There goo th' bell!!"
DESPAIR!
Brown has locked his portmanteau with one of those letter padlocks and forgotten the word that opens it.
[Only ten minutes to dinner!
VIATOR'S VADE MECUM
When the wind is in the North,
Gingham take if you go forth.
If to Eastward veer the wind,
Gingham do not leave behind.
If to West the wind should tend,
Gingham is your surest friend.
If it seek the South, of course,
Gingham is your sole resource.
Intermediate points demand
Gingham constantly in hand.
If there be no wind at all,
Gingham take, for rain will fall.
At all other times, no doubt,
Gingham you may do without,
Yet e'en then an hour may bring 'em,—
Showers I mean,—so take your Gingham!
English Tourist (in the far North, miles from anywhere). "Do you mean to say that you and your family live here all the winter? Why, what do you do when any of you are ill? You can never get a doctor!"
Scotch Shepherd. "Nae, sir. We've just to dee a natural death!"
THE WATER CURE
Young Lady. "So you've been on the Continent, Professor?"
The Professor. "Yes, I've been to Marienbad, taking the baths, you know."
Young Lady. "Really? That was a change for you, wasn't it?"
"Oh! con-found these country looking-glasses, though!"