you?

[Mr. Toovey stands stricken with confusion.

Mrs. Cagn. I may have spoke too free, Mr. Collimore, Sir, but when a party, as is elderly enough to know better, tries to put under'and questions to me about where and 'ow any o' my gentlemen pass their hevenins, and if they go to the music-'all and what not—why, I put it to you——

Charles. All right, Mrs. Cagney, put it to me some other time; you didn't understand my uncle, that's all—you needn't stay. Oh, by the way, I'm dining out again this evening. Tell Cagney to leave the chain, as I may be late. (After Mrs. C. has retired.) Well, Uncle, I'm afraid your diplomacy hasn't had quite the success it deserved.

"Mr. Collimore conducks hisself as a gentleman, and treats me as a lady."

Mr. Toov. (sheepishly). I assure you, my boy, that I—I was not inquiring for my own satisfaction. Your Aunt is naturally anxious to know how you—— But your landlady gave you an excellent character.

Charles. She didn't seem to be equally complimentary to you, Uncle. "A Russian spy," wasn't it? But really, you know, you might have come to me for any information you require. I don't mind telling you all there is to tell. And surely Aunt knows I've been to a music-hall; why, she pitched into me about it enough last Sunday!

Mr. Toov. I—I think she wanted to know whether you went frequently, Charles, or only that once.

Charles. Oh, and so she sent you up to pump my landlady? Well, I'll tell you exactly how it is. I don't set up to be a model young man like your friend Curphew. I don't spend all my evenings in this cheerful and luxurious apartment. Now and then I find the splendour of the surroundings rather too much for me, and I'm ready to go anywhere, even to a music-hall, for a change. There, I blush to say, I spend an hour or two, smoking cigars, and even drinking a whisky and soda, or a lemon squash, listening to middle-aged ladies in sun-bonnets and accordion skirts singing out of tune. I don't know that they amuse me much, but, at all events, they're livelier than Mrs. Cagney. I'm dining out to-night, at the Criterion, with a man at the office, and it's as likely as not we shall go in to the Valhalla or the Eldorado afterwards. There, you can't say I'm concealing anything from you. And I don't see why you should groan like that, Uncle.

Mr. Toov. (feebly). I—I'd rather you didn't go to the—the Eldorado, Charles.

Charles. There's ingratitude! I thought you'd be touched by my devotion.

Mr. Toov. (to himself). I can't tell him I was thinking of going there myself! (Aloud.) You will show your devotion best by keeping away. The less young men go to such places, my boy, the better!

Charles. Not for you, Uncle. You forget that it's the humble five bob of fellows like me that help to provide your next dividend.

Mr. Toov. (wincing). Don't, Charles, it—it's ungenerous and undutiful to reproach me with being a shareholder when you know how innocently I became one!

Charles. But I wasn't reproaching you, Uncle, it was rather the other way round, wasn't it? And really, considering you are a shareholder in the Eldorado, it's a little too strong to condemn me for merely going there.

Mr. Toov. I—I may not be a shareholder long, Charles. Unless I can conscientiously feel able to retain my shares I shall take the first opportunity of selling them.

Charles. But why, Uncle? Better stick to them now you have got them!

Mr. Toov. What? with the knowledge that I was profiting by practices I disapproved of? Never, Charles!

Charles. But you can't sell without making a profit, you know; they've gone up tremendously.

Mr. Toov. Oh, dear me! Then, do you mean that I shouldn't even be morally justified in selling them? Oh, you don't think that, Charles?

Charles. That's a point you must settle for yourself, Uncle, it's beyond me. But, as a dutiful nephew, don't you see, I'm bound to do all I can in the meantime to keep up the receipts for you, if I have to go to the Eldorado every evening and get all the fellows I know to go too. Mustn't let those shares go down, whether you hold on or sell, eh?

Mr. Toov. (horrified). Don't make me an excuse for encouraging young men to waste precious time in idleness and folly. I won't allow it—it's abominable, Sir! You've put me in such a state of perplexity by all this, Charles, I—I hardly know where I am! Tell me, are you really going to the Eldorado this evening?

Charles. I can't say; it depends on the other fellow. But I will if I can get him to go, for your sake. And I'm afraid I ought to go and change, Uncle, if you'll excuse me. Make yourself as comfortable as you can. Here's to-day's Pink 'Un, if you haven't seen it.

Mr. Toov. I'm not in the habit of seeing such periodicals, Sir. And I must be going. Oh, by the bye, your Aunt wished me to ask you to come down and dine and sleep on Monday next. Thea will be back, and I believe Mr. Curphew has got a free evening for once. Shall I tell her you will come, Charles?

Charles. Thanks; I'll come with pleasure. But, I say, Aunt doesn't want to give me another lecture, I hope? After all, she can't say much if you've told her about those shares, as I suppose you have.

Mr. Toov. N—not yet, Charles. I have not found a convenient opportunity. There, I can't stay—good-bye, my boy.

[He takes his leave.

End of Scene IX.

Scene X.—In the Street.

Mr. Toovey (to himself). I'm afraid Charles has lost every particle of respect for me. I wish I had never told him about those wretched shares. And what am I to do now? If I go to this Eldorado place, he may be there too; and, if he sees me, I shall never hear the last of it! And yet my mind will never be easy unless I do go and see for myself what it really is like. That young Curphew expects me to go. But I don't know, I do so dread the idea of going—alone, too! I should like to ask somebody else what he thinks I ought to do—somebody who is a man of the world. I wonder if I went to see Larkins—he won't be in his office so late as this, but I might catch him in his chambers. It was all through him I got into this difficulty; he ought to help me out of it if he can. I really think I might take a cab and drive to Piccadilly, on the chance.

[He hails a Hansom, and drives off.

End of Scene X.

CARR-ACTORS AT "THE COMEDY."

A Portrait from M-Emery. Emery Powder and