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قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, October 21st 1893

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‏اللغة: English
Punch, or the London Charivari, October 21st 1893

Punch, or the London Charivari, October 21st 1893

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
الصفحة رقم: 5

Liberty cap upon Bruin's brown noddle!

That crown—much awry—on the Beauty's fair head!

Absurd! And the Bear's heavy lumbering waddle

Sorts oddly enough with the lady's light tread.

He won't get her step! Will she try to catch his?

As soon shall small beer take the sparkle of fizz.

Is she "soothing the Bear"—with a show of lip-honey?

Is he flattering the Bee—with an eye on the hive?

Sting hidden, claws sheathed—for how long? Well, 'tis funny,

This queer little game, whilst they keep it alive!

Dance-partnership is not "for better for worse,"

And "union of hearts" sometimes smacks of—the purse.

"Twos and Threes" is a game to the playground familiar!

"Two's Company!" Yes, so, in this case, are Three!

Alliances frequently made willy-nilly are

Dual or Triple. The Eagles we see

Foregather; so may they not meet—in the dance—

The Big Northern Beast and the Beauty of France?


ANGELS.

I wonder if you give your mind

At all to angels. "Which?" you say?

Why, angels of the hymn-book kind,

Not imitation ones in clay.

I often do. They fascinate

My fancy to a strange degree;

And meditating much of late

There came two serious points to me.

You notice in the Holy Writ

Angels are never feminine;

But, wheresoever they may flit,

He came, he spake, he gave the sign.

The men who wrote of them were sage,

And knew their subject out and out;

But we live in a wicked age,

That twists the angels' sex about.

And painters paint them girls. And then

The question sets one's brains afire—

Why choristers on earth are men,

If women form the heavenly choir?

And if they do paint here or there

A man among the cherubim,

I claim to know why not a hair

May grow upon the face of him?

I know the Roman Church decreed

"A priest shall wear a shaven face."

But what of angels? There indeed

Razor and strop seem out of place.

Then why this hairless cheek and chin?

I ask, and Echo answers Why?

Have angel-cheeks no roots within?

—Here comes my keeper. So, good-bye!


Reckless.—"Mr. Allen, Senator of Albraska, a prominent silverite, spoke for fifteen hours." "Speech is silver. Silence golden." If all silverites go on at this length, there'll be no silence, ergo, no gold. Q. E. D.


'L'UNION FAIT LA-FARCE!'

"L'UNION FAIT LA-FARCE!"



"OUT FOR AN OTTER-DAY!"

'OUT FOR AN OTTER-DAY!'


MY PRETTY JANE AT A LATER SEASON.

(Respectfully submitted for the consideration of Mr. Sims Reeves.)

My pretty Jane, my pretty Jane,

You still, you still are looking shy!

You never met me in the evening

When the bloom was on the rye.

The year is waning fast, my love;

The leaves are in the sere;

The fog-horns now are humming, love;

And the moonshine's "moonshine," dear.

But, pretty Jane, my dearest Jane,

I never will "say die";—

Come, meet me, meet me in our parlour,

Where the bloom is on the fly.

Just name your day, that mother may

Produce her best in china things,

And stop yon man in apron white,

Whose muffin-bell, whose muffin-bell now rings.

The year is waning fast, &c.


"A Triple Bill."—"The Home Rule Bill," said Mr. Chamberlain to his American friends, "is not scotched. It is killed." Of course our Joe knows that were it "scotched" it would be only "half kilt." But the idea of an Irish Bill being Scotched! Our only Joe might have added that it was "Welsh'd" in the Lords.


Phœbus, what a Name!—Sir Comer Petheram, Chief Justice of Bengal, is coming home. Welcome, Sir Home-Comer Petheram. Or, why not Sir Homer Petheram for short?


TO A YOUNG COUNTRY FRIEND, AGED SEVEN.

(Who whistled of Monte Carlo not wisely, but too well.)

Sweet youth! I wonder if you'll feel much pain

To know that that sweet soul-inspiring strain

You whistle at so wonderful a rate

Is now in point of fact quite out of date.

Down in the country pr'aps you hardly know

At what a pace these street-songs come and go.

At present you're a day behind the fair,

And want (as I myself) a change of air.

You should protest you're being driven crazy

By waiting for the answer of fair Daisy;

Or else ask sadly what was she to do

Who, "silly girl," got taken on to Crewe.

Whistle that charming ditty, if you must,

Until, (forgive the phrase) until you bust,

But do not whistle, if you wish to rank

As in the know, "The Man who broke the Bank."


UPON JULIA'S MOTHER.

(To depart presently.)

Julia, I deemed that I had wed

Not thine, but only thee;

A child I wept my mother sped,

Thou'st given thine to me.

She came as wandering sea-birds come

To rest upon a spar

Of ships that trail the lights of home

Where homeless billows are.

From Aix-les-Bains to Harrogate,

From Bath to Tunbridge Wells,

She's sojourned in Imperial state,

Yet here content she dwells.

Content—and yet no truce with truth

Such Roman mothers know;

Quick to detect the faults of youth,

And prompt to tell us so.

I knew not I possess'd the charms

Her wandering will to bind,

To keep me from my

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