قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, October 28th 1893
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
be changed to 'Day-homey and Night-outy Amazons.'"
The Cheshire Cruelty To Children Case.—Rightly were condemned the two unfeeling Phelans. No jury could possibly have any consideration for such Phelans as these. If for the male prisoner the jury had recommended a tail or two of the Cheshire Cat (o'-nine-tails), it would not have been thought too much.
Motto for Mr. Inderwick, Q.C.—The eminent Counsel of the Queen has been recently admitted to the freedom of the borough of Rye. He has added to his coat of arms the words, "Mind your Rye."
New Descriptive Title of the G. O. M. suggested by Lord Salisbury's Latest Speech.—"The Autocrat of the Round Table."
"EMINENTLY A SCOTTISH GOVERNMENT."
(Mr. Asquith's Speech, Tuesday, October 17.)
THE SAX SCOTCH PIPERS.
["The present Government is eminently a Scottish Government. You must remember that there are in the present Cabinet no less than five Scotch members of the House of Commons ... and we have also a member of the House of Lords who is one of the most eminent Scotchmen—I mean Lord Rosebery."—Mr. Asquith in Glasgow.]
"A Sassenach chief may be bonily built,
He may purchase a sporran, a bonnet, a kilt;
Stick a skeän in his hose—wear an acre of stripes—
But he cannot assume an affection for pipes."
—Bab Ballads.
Air—"The Hundred Pipers."
Wi' sax stalwart pipers an' a', an' a',
Wi' sax Scotch pipers an' a', an' a',
We'll up an' gie them a blaw, a blaw,
Wi' sax stout Scotch pipers an' a', an' a',
Oh! it's Sassenach bummlers awa', awa'!
Our Wullie's a Scotsman sae braw, sae braw,
We'll on an' we'll march to St. Stephen's ha',
Wi' its seats an' its salaries an' a', an' a'!
Wi' sax Scotch pipers an' a', an' a', &c.
Oh! wha' is formaist o' a', o' a'?
Oh! wha' does follow the blaw, the blaw?
Bonnie Wullie, the king o' us a', hurrah!
Wi' his five stout pipers an' a', an' a'!
His bonnet an' feather he's wavin' high.
His bagpipes wheeze, an' his ribbons fly;
The nor' win' plays wi' his thin white hair,
While the pipers blaw wi' an unco' flare.
Wi' sax Scotch pipers an' a', an' a', &c.
Primrose, an' Campbell, sae dink an' sae deep,
Shouther to shouther wi' Marjoribanks they keep,
Robertson, Balfour, an' Asher a' round
Dance themselves dry to the pibroch's sound.
Dumfoundered the English saw, they saw,
Dumfoundered they heard the blaw, the blaw
Hath a Southron ae chance ava' ava',
Wi' these sax Scotch pipers an' a', an' a'?
Wi' the sax Scotch pipers an' a', an' a',
The Saxon must go to the wa', the wa'!
Wullie's up an' gies them a blaw, a blaw
Wi' his sax Scotch pipers an' a', an' a'!
TOO PARTICULAR.
"Look here—confound it, Isaacson! You've played me a pretty Trick with this Ancestor you sold me! Showed it to a friend yesterday, and told him it was the Portrait of my Ancestor who came over with William the First; and he said, 'What a funny thing he should have dressed himself in the style of William the Fourth!'"
"Vell that'th nothing. I jeth made a mithtake of a few yearth—Villiam the Firtht and Villiam the Fourth; only hith Great-Grandthon!"
A Contribution to the celebrated Pickwickian Examination Paper.—To Students of Pickwick.—On what (as far as this questioner is aware) solitary occasion is champagne mentioned in Pickwick? who drank a bottle of it? where was it consumed? after what exhilarating performance?—Ed.
"Ta ta'd and Feathered."—"A soft thing that waves" was the description of a feather given by a Lady Correspondent—and therefore a perfectly Fair One—in the Times last Saturday. But surely "a soft thing that waves" is evidently a lady's hand bidding somebody "Ta! ta!"
By Our Own Crammer.—In unsuccessful candidates for Army and Navy Exams. England may have lost some of her best "pluck'd" soldiers and sailors.
BRIC-À-BRAC.
(By a Gallio.)
["Poetry will degenerate into mere literary bric-à-brac, such as the composition of rondels and triolets."
Literary odds and ends
Will for lays be scribbled!
Pearson thus ahead portends
"Litter"-ary odds and ends.
Pessimist, you owe amends
For this forecast ribald:—
"Literary odds and ends
Will for lays be scribbled!"
Call you then mere bric-à-brac
Triolet and rondel?
All that's knocked off with a knack
Call you then mere bric-à-brac?"
Man of prose, you thus attack
Villon, Dobson, Blondel.
Call you then mere bric-à-brac
Triolet and rondel?!
'Pon my word, I don't much care
If you prove your thesis.
Poetry's not my affair—
'Pon my word, I don't much care!
My three triolets pray tear
As you please, to pieces!
'Pon my word, I don't much care
If they prove your thesis!
The recent illuminations in Paris, it is said, were a very costly matter. Naturally, as an "affaire de LUX(E)."