You are here
قراءة كتاب Peachmonk A Serio-Comic Detective Tale in Which No Fire-Arms Are Used and No One is Killed
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
Peachmonk A Serio-Comic Detective Tale in Which No Fire-Arms Are Used and No One is Killed
PEACHMONK
A SERIO-COMIC DETECTIVE TALE IN WHICH NO
FIRE-ARMS ARE USED AND NO ONE IS KILLED
BEING A THREE DAYS EPISODE IN THE LIFE OF
THE DUKE OF BELLEVILLE AS RELATED BY
LORD EDWARD LYNDON
JOHN EYERMAN
NEW YORK
1917
The fabric of this tale is based largely upon the use of Book-Titles, and the names, several names in connection, or expressions in CAPITALS, which indicate these titles, should in no way interfere with the continuous reading of the story.
No Title, of either one or more words, is used more than once, unless such title is represented by more than one Author.
Approximately, Nine Hundred Book-Titles have been used.
No Literary Merit is claimed for this Tale, as none has been attempted. The following Letter explains itself:
BARCHESTER TOWERS,
KENILWORTH.
Saturday.
Dear Eyerman:
When we were talking the other night at MRS. PERKIN'S BALL, I was just about to ask you a favor, when OUR MUTUAL FRIEND, ADDISON, with his usual lack of GOOD FORM FOR ALL OCCASIONS, decided to fasten himself to us: AFTERWARD, AT THE CASA NAPOLEON, THE AMERICANS tied me up. I am glad to say that I am now FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWDS, and VILETTE, THE BEAUTIFUL WRETCH that she is, has urged me to write you.
When Scarlett's eye-troubles began he decided to amuse himself by dictating to MISS MARJORIBANKS, THE STORY OF MY LIFE, as he called it * * * * Ten days ago, and to my AMAZEMENT, he was ordered to INDIA and his work is not completed, and I am no good at that kind of thing. I want YOU to undertake the WORK, and Scarlett wants you too. Don't refuse, please.
Present or absent, I trust, my dear fellow, that you will think of me always as your sincere friend.
Belleville.
My PRINTERS have informed me that ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, it will be best to omit the Introduction, as it is "NOT IN IT" with the tale, WHICH was to have followed.
NOW, at first, I considered this all STUFF AND NONSENSE, for I am sure I know MORE about CLEVER TALES, than they do about printed MATTER, and I believe that I am considered one of the best DESCRIPTIVE WRITERS in GREAT BRITAIN, and certainly can write SKETCHES AND STORIES; however, "IT'S UP TO YOU," but when the printers told me that the question would be asked "WHO WROTE THAT?" to be followed by the remark "IT'S GREAT TO BE CRAZY," I decided that as MY BROTHER AND I are PALS FIRST, FOR HIS SAKE, the Introduction, AS A MATTER OF COURSE, must be omitted.
CONTENTS
| I: | BEGINNING OF THE TALE |
| II: | INTRODUCES THE HERO |
| III: | INTRODUCES MARJORIE |
| IV: | INTRODUCES THE VILLAIN |
| V: | WHAT THE VILLAIN DID |
| VI: | INTRODUCES THE HEROINE |
| VII: | THE CRISIS |
| VIII: | THE GRAND FINALE |
PEACHMONK
I: BEGINNING OF THE TALE.
When one sees THE HONEY BEE constructing his little hexagonal CELL, and the SPIDERS weaving their webs and bridges, with all the accuracy of the ENGINEER, which operations are not ACCIDENTALS, one is inclined to ask: is one MAKING THE MOST OF ONE'S MIND? Candidly: I DON'T KNOW: perhaps not; but I do know from a scientific standpoint, the comparison is not permissible; still it makes ONE think. However, what is most apparent to me is that I am in THE CLUTCH OF CIRCUMSTANCES, and I have to write this tale; THEREFORE, ONCE UPON A TIME, as all stories should begin, a certain successful debutante, known as LADY ROSE'S DAUGHTER, THE LADY EVELYN, sat in her boudoir in THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT, IN LONDON TOWN, looking at THE FACE IN THE GIRANDOLE, and listening to THE CHIMES of the SILVER BELLS, announcing THE ELEVENTH-HOUR. This room, like THE CIRCULAR STUDY on the floor below, was hung with GOBELINS, between which, at regular intervals, were hung original DRAWINGS OF GAINSBOROUGH, the floor being covered with that world-famous textile, THE CARPET FROM BAGDAD, while upon a magnificent LOUIS XIV stand were some exquisite specimens of SALT-GLAZED STONEWARE, stamped with THE GREEN SEAL.
Through THE OPEN SHUTTERS came the VOICE OF THE STREET, and from distant KENNEDY SQUARE, the occasional bark of THE GOLDEN-GREYHOUND, intermingled with the soft lapping noise of THE MOVING OF THE WATERS in THE POND IN THE MARSHY MEADOW.
MAMZELLE FIFINE, her ladyship's maid, was in the act of affixing THE JEWEL OF THE SEVEN STARS to her ladyship's beautiful new Peqiun CREATION, when VIVIETTE, one of the parlour maids entered, carrying a box. "MILADI," said THE EXPERT MAID-SERVANT, "this box was left but a moment ago and DENIS DUVAL told me to bring it to your ladyship at once, as THE MESSENGER said it contained FAMILY SECRETS; there is a key in this sealed envelope."
THE VERMILION BOX, upon being opened with THE DIAMOND KEY, disclosed A RED LILY, to which was attached a card bearing the short inscription, "LEST WE FORGET," and the INITIALS ONLY, TO M. L. G.
NOW, the Lady Evelyn, being A DIPLOMATIC WOMAN, NOWADAYS, not unusual, expressed her astonishment in but seven WORDS, "AT LAST, THE TRUTH ABOUT THE CASE," and continuing said, "Viviette, draw THE CRIMSON BLIND, see that MY STUDY FIRE is lighted, and ask ANN BOYD, the housekeeper, to come to me at once."
The housekeeper entered almost immediately.
"Boyd," said HER LADYSHIP, "I shall postpone MY IRISH JOURNEY, TO-DAY; I believe that before the TWELFTH NIGHT from now, I shall know who this GABRIELLE TRANSGRESSOR is, in fact I intend to know if it take FIVE YEARS TO FIND OUT; go to the Circular Study, and consult the last WHO'S WHO IN MUSIC AND DRAMA, and let me