قراءة كتاب John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 3 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 3 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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Title: John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 3 (of 3)
From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
Author: John Leech
Release Date: June 1, 2014 [eBook #45813]
Language: English
Character set encoding: UTF-8
***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JOHN LEECH'S PICTURES OF LIFE AND CHARACTER, VOLUME 3 (OF 3)***
E-text prepared by Chris Curnow, Wayne Hammond,
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| Note: | Images of the original pages are available through Internet Archive. See https://archive.org/details/picturesoflifech03leecuoft |
John Leech's
PICTURES OF LIFE AND CHARACTER
FROM THE COLLECTION OF
"Mr. Punch."
JOHN LEECH's
PICTURES OF LIFE AND CHARACTER
From the Collection of "Mr. PUNCH."
* * *
LONDON:
BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., 8, 9, 10, BOUVERIE STREET, E. C.
1887.
LONDON:
BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., PRINTERS, WHITEFRIARS.
John Leech'S Pictures
of
Life and Character.
HISTORY.—THE ANCIENT BRITONS.
Emily (reads). "IN THE SUMMER THEY WERE NAKED, AND INSTEAD OF CLOTHES THEY PUT PAINT UPON THEIR BODIES. THEY WERE FOND OF A FINE BLUE COLOUR, WHICH THEY MADE OF A PLANT CALLED WOAD, WHICH THEY FOUND IN THEIR WOODS. THEY SQUEEZED OUT THE JUICE OF THE WOAD, AND THEN STAINED THEMSELVES ALL OVER WITH IT, SO THAT IN SUMMER THEY LOOKED AS IF THEY WERE DRESSED IN TIGHT BLUE CLOTHES."
Arthur. "AND DID THEY WALK IN THE PARK AND GO TO CHURCH SO?"
A REAL TREASURE.
Paterfamilias (suddenly arrived in Town). "GOOD GRACIOUS, MRS. WILKINS, WHY DIDN'T YOU FORWARD THESE LETTERS? THEY ARE OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE."
Mrs. Wilkins (the Treasure). "LOR, SIR! I SHOULD NEVER THINK O' FORWARDING SICH THINGS AS THEM. WHY, I SEE THEY WAS ONLY BUSINESS LETTERS FROM THE HORFICE, OR SOMETHINK O' THAT!"
THE LESSON.
Disgusted Instructor of Plungers. "THERE YOU GO AGAIN! STICKING OUT YOUR TOES LIKE A HINFANTRY HADJUTANT!"
THE DARLINGS COME OUT TO SEE THE 38TH OTHERSEX VOLUNTEERS DRILLED.
Sergeant (appealingly). "NOW THEN, GENTLEMEN, ONCE MORE, EYES FRONT!—AND PRAY, GENTLEMEN—PRAY DON'T STARE ABOUT YOU AS IF YOU WERE IN CHURCH!"
A WORD TO THE WISE.
Discerning Child (who has heard some remarks made by Papa). "ARE YOU OUR NEW NURSE?"
Nurse. "YES, DEAR!"
Child. "WELL, THEN, I'M ONE OF THOSE BOYS WHO CAN ONLY BE MANAGED WITH KINDNESS—SO YOU HAD BETTER GET SOME SPONGE-CAKES AND ORANGES AT ONCE!"
A POSER.
Precocious Pupil. "PLEASE, MISS JONES, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SUBURBS?"
Governess (who is extensively Crinolined). "THE OUTSKIRTS OF A PLACE, MY DEAR."
Pupil (seizing Miss J. by the dress). "THEN, MISS JONES, ARE THESE YOUR SUBURBS?"
DINING UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
EMPHATIC.
Boy (to Nurse). "WHAT DID YOU SAY 'MADE HER ILL'?"
Nurse. "'ARK AT YOU, HALFRED! I DIDN'T SAY, 'MADE 'ER HILL'; I SAID, 'SHE LIVED AT MAIDA 'ILL!!"
CRUEL.
Young Swell (loq.). "I SAY, THOMPSON, DO YOU THINK I SHALL EVER HAVE ANY WHISKERS?"
Thompson (after careful examination). "WELL, SIR, I REALLY DON'T THINK AS YOU EVER WILL—LEASTWAYS NOT TO SPEAK OF!"
Young Swell. "THAT'S RATHER HARD, FOR MY PAP—I MEAN GOVERNOR—HAS PLENTY!"
Thompson (facetiously). "YES, SIR,—BUT P'R'APS YOU TAKE AFTER YOUR MA!"
