قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, October 13, 1894

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‏اللغة: English

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 107, October 13, 1894

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg

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Woman played out?"

A BACKWARD CROP.

Young Mr. Green (who wants a Hunter for the coming Season). "Ya—as; but he's got such a Seedy Tail!"

Dealer. "Seedy? Ah, that's it! Just germinatin', it is. Want o' Sunshine, yer see. Lor' bless y', things is mostly bin a bit backard this Season!"

"I'M GETTING A BIG GIRL NOW!"

(Song for Miss Unified London.)

Air—"I'm Getting a Big Girl Now!"

I've had all the pleasures belonging to youth, Its sweetmeats, its larks, and its toys. But I find, with regret, what is really the truth, That girls will grow old, just like boys. I'd like still to play in the jolly old way, But the world will not let me somehow. I know what it means; I am now in my teens. Yes; I'm getting a big girl now!

Chorus.

I'm getting a big girl now, And they tell me it's time I knew how To behave more like one, And in toys find less fun; For I'm getting a big girl now!

I've had a good time for a number of years, And I'm sure I'm not anxious to change, But the very best swim there is somebody queers. They won't let me alone—it's so strange! It does give one a shock; but I've outgrown my frock, My girdle won't meet anyhow; They're beginning to quiz. Ah! I see how it is; I'm getting a big girl now

Chorus.

I'm getting a big girl now, If I romp someone kicks up a row They tell me I chuck Too much money on "tuck"!— Ah! I'm getting a big girl now!

I know there's a party who's anxious to spoil My nice little games at Guildhall. He growls "turn up turtle and toys, Miss, and toil, Gog and Magog are no good at all. Your coaches, and horses, and tin-armoured forces, Are babyish bosh, and bow-wow! You must scorn grub and ease—like those good L.C.C.'s— For you're getting a big girl now!

Chorus.

"You are getting a big girl now; You must turn up the tuck-shop I vow. A cut of cold mutton Go take—with good Hutton! For you're getting a big girl now!"

I own that I hate to be talked to like this; And as to those L.C.C. prigs They always hold up as a "Model for Miss," I'll give 'em beans yet—please the pigs! Me fussy and frugal like dowdy McDougall?— Well—well; no use raising a row Like all girls and boys I must give up my toys. For I'm getting a big girl now!

Chorus.

Yes, I'm getting a big girl now; My dollies must go anyhow; And as to the tuck I must cut it—worse luck! For I'm getting a big girl now.

Good-bye, dear old toys! I am getting too big For dolls, dressing up, and—bohoo! Gog! Magog!! Alas!!! Is it quite infra dig. To drop a few tears over you? I am such a whopper, it may be improper, But—there, I am blubbing—wow-wow! Good-bye, rose and myrtle! Farewell toys and turtle! I'm getting a big girl now.

Chorus.

Yes, I'm getting a big girl now, (And feel doocedly sorry somehow,) In Unification They think there's salvation For one, who's a big girl now!

"I'M GETTING A BIG GIRL NOW!"

Miss Unified London putting away all her pretty Toys and Playthings.

MUDDY MILAN.

Once I thought that you could boast Such a perfect southern sky, Flecked with summer clouds at most; Always sunny, always dry, Warm enough, perhaps, to grill an Englishman, O muddy Milan!

Now I find you soaking wet, Underneath an English sky; Pavements, mediæval yet, Whence mud splashes ever fly; And, to make one damp and ill, an Endless downpour, muddy Milan!

Though you boast such works of art, Where is that unclouded sky? Muddy Milan, we must part, I shall gladly say good-bye, Pack, and pay my little bill—an Artless thing—and leave you, Milan.

A Really "Independent of Labour Party."—Mr. Keir Hardie, M.P.

LYRE AND LANCET.

(A Story in Scenes.)

PART XV.—TRAPPED!

Scene XXIV.—A Gallery outside the Verney Chamber.

Time—About 10.15.

Undershell (to himself, as he emerges from a back staircase). I suppose this is the corridor? The Boy said the name of the room was painted up over the door.... Ah, there it is; and, yes, Mr. Spurrell's name on a card.... The door is ajar; he is probably waiting for me inside. I shall meet him quite temperately, treat it simply as a——(He enters; a waste-paper basket, containing an ingenious

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