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Title: Signora Fantastici

Author: Madame de Stael

Translator: Frank J. Morlock

Posting Date: May 20, 2013 [EBook #4665] Release Date: November, 2003 First Posted: February 25, 2002

Language: English

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SIGNORA FANTASTICI ***

Produced by Dagny and Frank J. Morlock

This Etext is for private use only. No republication for profit in print or other media may be made without the express consent of the Copyright Holder. The Copyright Holder is especially concerned about performance rights in any media on stage, cinema, or television, or audio or any other media, including readings for which an entrance fee or the like is charge. Permissions should be addressed to: Frank Morlock, 6006 Greenbelt Rd, #312, Greenbelt, MD 20770, USA or [email protected]. Other works by this author may be found at http://www.cadytech.com/dumas/personnage.asp?key=130

SIGNORA FANTASTICI (A DRAMATIC PROVERB)

                         BY MADAME DE STAEL
                               (1811)

Translated and adapted by F. J. Morlock

CHARACTERS:
Mr. De Kriegschenmahl, former Swiss officer
Mrs. De Kriegschenmahl, his wife
Licidas
Rodolphe
Signora Fantastici
Zepherina, her daughter
A Commissioner who stutters

The action takes place in a town in the German parts of Switzerland.

NOTE: MR. de Kriegschenmahl and Rodolphe are played with a German accent. Madame de Kriegschenmahl has an English accent.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: My friend, if you could stop smoking that pipe you would please me greatly, in truth, greatly. It spoils the odor of the tea. The smoke soils my white dress. In truth, it's quite disagreeable.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: What do you want, my wife? Each country has its customs. In England you drink warm water all day. It's tasteless, it's insipid! The pipe is more military; it reminds me of my youth. I've been married to you for twenty-five years, Madame de Kriegschenmahl. Can't you get used to me?

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
For twenty five years your customs have revolted me.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
For twenty-five yeas your prudery has annoyed me.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
That's really polite.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
It's quite complaisant.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
When you were in love with me—

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
When you wanted to marry me—

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
I was greatly trifled with.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
I was indeed less annoyed.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
We are still happy together.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
Yes, quite happy.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
But sometimes, I should like—

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
What?

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
Something else.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
What do you mean, Madame de Kriegschenmahl?

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: Don't be upset, Mr. de Kriegschenmahl; I have a bounty to ask of you. For twenty-five years we've made a party of whist every night. I'd like to try this French game they say is so gay: Reversi. Do you consent to it, my dear husband? I wouldn't permit myself to do it without your approval.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: I give it to you.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
Ah, how good you are! We could try it with our two sons.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: Yes. That will be a family match. That's always a pleasure. But haven't you noticed that for some time your cherished son, the one you named Licidas, is 24 years old? On account of this English novel you haven't had time to finish. Well! Licidas de Kriegschenmahl is very rarely at home. Where's this leading?

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: Licidas is too well brought up for me to suspect his conduct. I'm sure he's busy with the new agricultural course which has just started up. He loves the country, solitude; he's modest and timid. Not the same as your Corporal Rodolphe. Truly, as for me, his mother, he frightens me when he talks.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: He's a man of sense, my younger son is. He doesn't have the complexion of roses and lillies like your Licidas. He isn't made for domestic life like you and your son; but he's reasonable and I'll go so far as to bet that your Licidas will commit more stupidities than Rodolphe.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
Stupidities! What do you mean? My son, who's never left my home and
who's decided never to leave us, while Rodolphe spends his life, will
I dare say it? in the guard room. Yes, I blush when I think of it.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
And where would you have him be?

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
Around his mother, sir. Around his mother.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
Do you imagine so? But here's Licidas.—What's wrong with him today?

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: His hair is all undone. He staggers as he walks. My God! Could some misfortune have happened to him?

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
This son, so modest, so timid: would he be drunk somewhere?

LICIDAS: (entering, reciting from the role of Hippolytus)
Friends, what say you?
You who've known my heart since my birth.
Can you ask me the sentiments of a heart so proud, so disdainful?

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: What's happened to you my son? How bold your looks are. You make me lower my eyes.

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL:
My son. Have you lost your good senses?

LICIDAS: Mother, Father, pardon. But you don't know how beautiful the part is that I was just rehearsing; you don't know the Signora Fantastici and her charming daughter Zepherina. How I pity you!

MR. DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: My son, what are you saying to us? These are names I've never heard mentioned and yet I wandered about the country when I was young.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: My son, I fear the people of whom you are speaking are not of a society suitable to a well brought up young man.

LICIDAS: Mother, they are two charming Italians, mother and daughter. They arrived a few days ago, and I've never been so amused until I became acquainted with them.

MADAME DE KRIEGSCHENMAHL: What are you saying, Licidas? Amused! Is their company worth that of your aunt Ehrenschwand to whose home we go every Monday?

LICIDAS: