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قراءة كتاب Eliza
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Transcriber's Note: Minor typographical errors have been corrected without note. Dialect spellings, contractions and discrepancies have been retained.
ELIZA
Says ROBERT BARR in The Idler:—
"... and as for Barry Pain's 'Eliza' I question if anything more deliciously humourous, and of a humour so restrained, has been written since the time of Lamb."
"It was true I ran into the horse." (See page 24.)
By
BARRY PAIN
ILLUSTRATED BY
WALLACE GOLDSMITH
BOSTON
DANA ESTES & COMPANY
PUBLISHERS
Copyright, 1904
By Dana Estes & Company
COLONIAL PRESS
Electrotyped and Printed by C. H. Simonds & Co.
Boston, Mass., U.S.A.
CONTENTS
| PAGE | |
| Eliza's Husband | 3 |
| The Cards | 13 |
| Eliza's Mother | 23 |
| Miss Sakers | 33 |
| The Orchestrome | 41 |
| The Tonic Port | 49 |
| The Gentleman of Title | 59 |
| The Hat | 67 |
| My Fortune | 73 |
| Shakespeare | 81 |
| The Unsolved Problem | 89 |
| The Day Off | 97 |
| The Mushroom | 107 |
| The Pleasant Surprise | 115 |
| The Mopworths | 123 |
| The Pen-wiper | 135 |
| The 9.43 | 143 |
| The Conundrums | 151 |
| The Ink | 159 |
| The Public Scandal | 167 |
| The "Christian Martyr" | 175 |
| The Pagrams | 183 |
| Promotion | 191 |
ELIZA'S HUSBAND
"Suppose," I said to one of the junior clerks at our office the other day, "you were asked to describe yourself in a few words, could you do it?"
His answer that he could describe me in two was no answer at all. Also the two words were not a description, and were so offensive that I did not continue the conversation.
I believe there are but few people who could give you an accurate description of themselves. Often in the train to and from the city, or while walking in the street, I think over myself—what I have been, what I am, what I might be if, financially speaking, it would run to it. I imagine how I should act under different