She was confined to her hide-a-way in the upstairs of her home until Hospice on 14 of July, and died 16 July, 1986.

Respectfully submitted,

Muriel K. Isaacson (Mother)

Dedicated to…

those who came with culinary delights who shared of their time making crafts and visiting who brought lovely plants, curios and books who shared roses from their garden who, through Laurie's five year illness, remembered her often with cards and gifts of money and especially those who lifted her name and her family in supportive love and prayer.

Journal Quotes

"Carrying a secret would have been like transporting a dandelion seed head on a windy day."

"Cancer. One word, and yet it made such a difference; it was almost mathematical; just as surely as positive and negative numbers, multiplied, equaled a negative response, certainty coupled with uncertainty yielded uncertainty."

"Cancer knew no barrier and bore no prejudice; cancer took the weak, the strong, the indifferent, the proud, the cheerful, the embittered; it took all, greedily in an unquenchable hunger."

"Only acceptance can wash away the flames born of despair."

"The more the mind grows the more humble its 'master' becomes, for he realizes that knowledge is infinity and infinity cannot be encapsulated in the human brain."

Excerpt from Diary
June 22, 1984

…In a relationship, truth can often times hurt. So, I am faced with the problem of whether to tell the truth or speak nothing. I would never choose to jeopardize a relationship, yet if that relationship is full of deception, or other undesirable attributes, and undiscerned by the other, is it noble to hold one's peace? For to bespeak truths could lead to ruinous separation…yet, a one-sided relationship is of no account.

If I could but harness the energy begotten of my anger towards self-obsessive persons, I could heat the house for a month. Perhaps, with time, I shall be able to transfer that energy toward the thinking of constructive thoughts. Anger cannot be felt without sustaining internal damage; a raging emotional fire surely must char the mind.

Prologue

DEATH

Man's basic instinct is to survive, and despite all the civilizing and technological factors of the present, that basic instinct has remained. Though the improvements rendered on society through modernization has allowed each individual to live at a more leisurely pace, those same devices, conveniences and services have also separated each life from the healing qualities inherent in a life lived close to nature.

So often I have heard the remark, "Nature is cruel," yet I cannot regard that statement to be wholly true; nature should not be given a character which is labeled, at various intervals in time, as "good" or "bad"; it merely functions to the mutual interactions of all life. For life to continue, there must also be death. Nature is the intricate mechanism behind all living and dying things; it is reality in its most elemental sense. Unfortunately, it is the one reality which modern society has attempted to purge from all minds, and replace with a perverted idea of life; since it is nearly impossible for a man to live naturally, society has also obliterated the idea that one can die naturally, and quietly.

Even though one is facing death, it is yet difficult to relinquish that instinct, as well as the instinct to escape pain. One will do everything in his power to escape a sniper's gun, just as he would remove his hand from the hot kettle or jump at the prick of a needle. It is natural to protect ourselves. While sightless and immobile elderly may "want to die," they would never take their life.

In the case of disease and debilitation, a line must be drawn. When no treatment is available, one must say "enough" and try to find peace. Perhaps mercy will one day be a part of medicine.

Death should not be shielded from the young, and borne solely by the old; when death is faced, one can better learn to live.

Overcoming Disability and Death
The True Hero

Some may argue that the only true heroes confronting a terminal and/or disabling disease are those who have overpowered that disease. May I respectfully disagree?

Lauren fought valiantly to retain a best level of health and ability, in spite of day after day, night after night, of chronic nausea, sweating, and fatigue. To give courage to anyone facing chronic disease, she fought to continue writing, even when physically and mentally exhausted. She continued to write, even up to her very last days of life. She was, and is, the true hero.

If you have faith in a higher power than either yourself or humanity in general; and if you have overpowered your disease or disability by faith, you are to be highly commended. If, by the grace of that same power, you have given your best effort, and your disease or disability either totally destroys your capacity, or demands your life; you are also deserving of honor.

Even those who found healing through faith in a higher power eventually met their earthly death; most likely by some disease that they could not, in spite of their faith, overcome. And death is a blessing, a relief from earthly suffering, not a horrid finality.

Faith in a higher power can afford courage in death, and timeless eternity in love.

Lauren's brother,
Todd Isaacson

Monday, April 3, 2006
Revised November 29, 2006

Spanish Letter (from a pen-pal from New Zealand)

Hola!

Me llamo Dean
Soy de Nueva Zelanda
Tengo 29 anos

Hay cuatro en mi familia, Mis padres, mi hermana y yo. Mis padres viven en Auckland, Nueva Zelanda. Mientras mi hermana vive en Wigan, Inglaterra con Su familia.

Mi padre Uama Merv. Fune cincuerta y cuatro anos. Frabaja en La policia. Habla Maori y Jngles. Juega rugby y tenis. Foca La guitarra. Es muy simpatico, generoso, introvetido, sincero y sentimental. No es cruel, terrible y impulsivo. Se gusta viajar con mi madre.

Mi madre Uana Jan Fiene cincuerta anos. Habla Jngles, no habla Maori. No trabaja tambier. Se gusta nadar y beber. Es muy simpatico, generosa, servical, impulsivo y guapa. No es cruel, introvertido y rebelde.

Mi hermana Uama Tracy. Tiene Viente y seis anos. Tiene un esposo y dos ninos. La nina el mayor que la nino. Habla Italiano y ingles. No habla Maori. Es guapa, simpatica, maravellosa, Trabajadora y divertida. No es optimista, terrible, cruel, y aburrida.

Letter as corrected, with gratitude to Esther Erbele, Waterloo, Iowa, April 19, 2006.

Please note: Since the English alphabet lacks certain features commonly used in Spanish, the following words are given below, with explanation:

llamo - pronounced YAH-mo.

anos - requires a wavy line (tilde) over the n,
     pronounced AHN-yos.

nina - requires a wavy line (tilde) over the second n,
     pronounced NEEN-yah.

nino - requires a wavy line