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قراءة كتاب A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
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A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
brother at the age of four was very much in love with a little girl two years of age. He used to lead the little girl around, caress her tenderly, and talk lovingly to her. He always divided with her the playthings he most appreciated. He often said he expected to marry her. While the little girl did not object to his demonstrations, she seemed to care more for a young man thirty-three years of age, and called him her sweetheart. The little boy became jealous, and finally gave her up. After they entered school together the little girl became very fond of my brother, and always managed to sit or stand next to him in the class if possible, but he had lost all interest in her, and never cared for her again.
Case 9. B. 6, g. 5. They had been lovers for about two years. They did not get to be together often since they lived in different towns. Their families were relatives and exchanged visits. Upon one occasion when of the age indicated above they met at the home of Jeaness's grandfather. Edgar came late. Jeaness was seated upon a hassock in the parlor where there were several guests. Upon Edgar's entering the door, she saw him and, as her little face beamed with evident delight, she arose and met him in the middle of the room. They were immediately in each others arms. Edgar's mother, seeing the vigor with which he was hugging Jeaness, said to him with concern: “Why, Edgar, you will hurt Jeaness.” Jeaness, who evidently was better able to judge, archly turned her head and with a smile that meant much, said: “No, he won't.”
Case 10. B. 2, g. 2. One afternoon last summer two of my little cousins, Florence twenty-three months old and Harold two years old, were spending the day at my home. They had never met until that day. Florence is an only child and is inclined to have her own way, and isn't willing to give up to other children. Harold has rather a sunny disposition. They had not been with each other more than an hour before they were sitting on the porch and Florence had her arms around Harold. She was very willing to give up to him and share all she had. They played together the remainder of the day, and were very affectionate. Ever since then they have been very devoted to each other, and it is very beautiful to watch them in all their little ways of indicating their love for each other.
Case 11. I attended a wedding last June which was the outcome of a striking illustration of this love. I will tell the story as the bride's mother told it to me. “This does not seem like a marriage to me but just one more step in a friendship which began when Minnie and Theo were babies. Before either could walk they would sit on the floor and play with each other—never having any trouble over playthings, but sharing everything alike. Theo would break bits of cake and put in Minnie's mouth, and then both would laugh as though it were a great joke. If they were separated both would cry. As they grew up the friendship grew stronger, and Theo always called Minnie his 'little wife.' At school they were always lovers, and when we moved here it was understood that when Minnie was twenty-one Theo should come for her. During their entire lives I do not know of a single quarrel between them.”
Case 12. One bright morning I noticed a little boy sitting in front of me who had not been there before. He turned around occasionally to look at me, and presently smiled. Of course I returned the smile, thinking that he was the sweetest little fellow that I had ever seen. This was the beginning of a love that lasted for several years. He was six, and I was the same age. On the next day he brought me a pretty picture, and after that paid so much attention to me that he was soon acknowledged to be my lover. Neither of us was the least bit shy over it. He did not care to play with the other boys and I did not care to play with the girls. We were not contented unless we were together. He freely confessed his love to me and confided all of his joys and sorrows in me. For three years and more he seemed to care as much for me as I did for him. When he came to our home to play with my brothers he usually forgot them and played with me. At dinner mamma always seated us side-by-side. We planned our marriage; his father who was a minister was to perform the ceremony. We discussed wedding dresses, bridesmaids and breakfasts with great seriousness. One day,—the fatal one to my childish happiness, a new girl came to school. I could not help noticing how often his eyes turned from me to her, and feared a rival from the first. He wanted her to play with us, and although I far rather would have preferred being alone with him, I hid my feelings and asked her. I tried to treat her kindly because I knew that it would please him. One day he asked me with great hesitation if I objected to his having two sweethearts. I smothered my jealous feelings and replied that I did not if he would marry me. He told me that he would, that he loved me,—in a way that was a compensation for my sacrifice. For some time the other girl and I got along very well as sister sweethearts; but I soon saw that she was receiving all of the caresses, and I concluded that I would not have it so. We had an interview. He said that he still loved me, but he gave me plainly to understand that he would be pleased to have me withdraw. Of course I did so, but was determined never to let either of them know that I cared. After a time they grew tired of each other, and he came to ask my forgiveness and make up, but by that time I had an older and as I thought better sweetheart; so he was left to repent his rash action while sweetheart number two captured some one else more suited to her taste.
Characteristics of the Second Stage.
The second stage in the development of the emotion of sex-love extends in time from the eighth year to about the twelfth year in girls and to the fourteenth year in boys. It is characterized by the appearance of shyness, of modesty, especially in girls, of self-consciousness and consequent efforts toward self-repression; by the inhibition of the spontaneous, impulsive love-demonstrations so freely indulged in during the previous stage. The boys are more secretive than the girls, but the tendency to conceal the love is present in both. This is the reason why fewer returns came for the years eight to twelve than for the years before and after this period. The children were to a degree successful in hiding their love and so passed unobserved. To the observer who does not depend upon the more demonstrative signs but who sees the less obvious but equally indicative ones, the emotion is easily detected. There is a conspicuous absence of pairing. The lover and sweetheart are not often seen alone together. On the other hand, they are much confused and embarrassed when circumstances do bring them into each other's presence. Mutual confessions are seldom made,—at least, not directly, face to face. Some confess to friends, but this is usually done very reluctantly. Some confess through notes delivered by friends, or passed in some secret way; some reveal it by defending the sweetheart when she is being “talked about,” in many of which cases boys fight most spiritedly for the honor of the one they love. Some never confess,—neither to friends nor to lover. Some boys deny that they are in love and speak slightingly about their sweetheart, but afterwards confess. Then there are the revelations through gifts that are nearly always delivered in some secret manner, in many instances of which the giver leaves no clue that would reveal his identity; in other instances cards or notes are left, but it is rare to find lovers in this stage giving gifts face to face. Another indication that will not escape the close observer and which the confessions especially reveal, is that of the

