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قراءة كتاب A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
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A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
unblushingly as she did. She talked of a faraway sometime when she should be his wife; he, terribly embarrassed, acknowledged the fact when she mentioned it in his presence. This condition of affairs continued about three months, when she gradually came to the conclusion that he did not love her and she would give him up for one she knew loved her. This was a young man of seventeen or eighteen who delighted in holding her on his knee, playing with her curls and caressing her in different ways. He cared for her as boys of that age usually care for little girls. Milton, filled with jealous anger, remained at a distance for awhile, and then spoke of the unusual proceedings to Bessie. She told him in child language that “When one is truly in love one not only says it but shows it,” and having fallen desperately in love with the more fortunate young man she gave Milton to understand that he need hope no more. The new lover remained but a short time, and after bestowing a beautiful doll as a parting gift he went away. She cried, was sorry that she had misunderstood Milton, but was too proud to call him back, and contented herself with her doll, declaring she did not like boys, and would never, never have a lover again. Milton with his parents soon moved away, and we never saw him again.
Case 10. B. 10, g. 16. A boy of ten very much in love with a girl of sixteen. They wrote letters which they exchanged in some secret way. I chanced to see some of the letters which the boy had received from the girl in which she was profuse in her expressions of love. The girl did not seem to care if her love for the boy was known, but the boy was shy. This continued for some time, in fact, until the young lady was engaged to be married to a young man, and within a week of her marriage she told her grandmother that if H. were but a little older her eyes would be turned in a different direction.
Case 11. The two children I refer to were about nine years old. They seemed to think a very great deal of each other, but were very shy in the presence of others. He often sent the little girl presents of flowers and candy on the sly. They continued to love each other for three or four years, until they finally became estranged through jealousy.
Case 12. When I was nine years old I fell in love with a girl about my own age who was also in love with me. I was jealous when I saw her playing with any other boy. I never told any one that I loved the girl, and didn't even want her to know it. As I grew older it gradually disappeared without anything to break it up.
Case 13. From the age of seven to ten I loved a boy of my own age. It happened occasionally that the class would stand up to spell, and when it did we frequently stood side-by-side. When the teacher allowed the school to spell in the old-fashioned way of “turning down” we were averse either to go above the other when we were entitled to do so. Our childish happiness lasted but one school term. His family moved away. We both felt the separation very keenly, and were sure that we never would have such friends again. At ten I thought more of another boy who had recently moved to our town. Our love began by our playing together in games with others. Our attachment grew to be very warm. He would send me valentines, and I would usually answer them. We were together in our study and in our games and sports. He would choose me and I would choose him,—except occasionally to tease him I would choose his nephew who was a little older than he. At times he did not appear to care, but at others he became angry. This love continued for four years with occasional interruptions in its placidity.
Cases of early love continuing throughout life. Case 6, page 335, and case 11, page 336, also belong to this group.
Case 1. My father and mother fell in love with each other when they were five years old, and were lovers till they died, both at the age of sixty-seven. When they were children they lived in the country some miles apart. Their parents attended the same church, and on Sundays in the summer-time the children were allowed to play outside while the church services were going on. It was in this way that they met, and for some time, they saw each other only on Sundays. When seven years old they started to the same school, and from that time on they were very devoted lovers. They were married at twenty-two, and lived happily together during forty-five years. They raised a large family, all of the members of which are now grown.
Case 2. I know of a couple who have been married ten years who have been lovers since childhood. The husband is four years older than his wife, with whom he fell in love when he was seven years old. They lived in the same town, and their parents were the best of friends. The children had many opportunities for being together, and always seemed very happy in each other's company. They were always acknowledged to be lover and sweetheart by their playmates, and it seemed very natural that they should marry, which they did when she was seventeen.
Case 3. I have a friend who is about five years older than I. We have been very intimate, and she has told me everything about her life. She and her husband have been lovers since they were five years old. She says that there has never been a time in her life since that time when she didn't love him. They were neighbors when they were small children, but moved apart and did not see each other for years. She went with friends to Europe and had many interesting experiences with other suitors, but her love for that boy never changed except to grow stronger. They have been married several years.
Case 4. During the time that I was teaching I boarded for several terms in a family, the husband and wife of which told me that they had been lovers since the first year that they attended school, and that neither had ever had any other lover.
Case 5. Two young people that I know have been lovers since they were babes. During their early school years the little boy would call for his little sweetheart every morning and take her to school. He was always at her side during the play periods, and would walk home with her after school was out in the afternoon. When either was sick the other called regularly and brought little favors. They have been very jealous of one another during all of their life. They are now twenty and soon will be married.
Case 6. I know a couple who were married at the age of nineteen whose love began when they were children. Their parents were neighbors, and the children grew up together. During their childhood their love was not interfered with by the parents, but when they arrived at adolescence and began to go to parties together the parents of both objected. The most severe measures of the parents of both failed to prevent their marriage.
Cases with disparity in the ages of the lovers.
Case 1. A little boy of four began to show the most devoted love for a young lady. Even when she was absent the mention of her name would cause an expression of almost worship to pass over his little face. She gave him her picture, and every night he said his prayers to it and kissed it good-night. There was no cloud in his sky until one day he heard two members of the family discussing the arrival of a young man who was interested in the young lady. No notice was taken of the little one, and when dinner time came he was missing. He was found in the carriage-house—a little bundle of indignation—getting ready to drive down town. In the