Well, honest, you are fine. No I should die if I forgot,–just simply die.

Miss R. It is wiser for her to hold her manuscript, I think. This is an essay, not an oration.

Maude (sitting down and getting up, a la Delsarte). Of course, Jack, don't you see? It is an essay, not an oration. Now, did I get up right?

Miss R. Try it again.

Maude (repeats the operation and advances very stiffly). Is that it?

Jack (judicially). Too corky.

Miss R. Be leisurely. Leisure is elegance. And bend more. Try it again,–so. (illustrates).

Maude (doing likewise). I do hope I won't drop anything. How was that?

Miss R. (hesitating). A trifle–just a trifle–well, er-stiff. Of all things, a lady must rise well.

Jack Yes, not as if she were shot out of a cannon!

Maude Jack, you keep still!

Miss R. Try it again–so. (illustrates). Bend from the waist.

(Maude does so amid solemn silence.)

Jack (graciously). That was better.

Miss R. Now, go on.

Maude (reading). "Life's Inner Meanings."

Miss R. Louder and more deliberately. "Life's Inner Meanings."

Maude "Life's Inner Meanings."

Miss R. Go on, not too fast. Don't hold it so high and bend the body forward from the waist.

Maude (in high shrill tones). "As a traveler, among the mighty mountains, fails to realize the height to which he has climbed–" (Stops, winded.)

Miss R. Compose yourself, compose yourself! Your voice is–well, unnatural.

Jack Yes, it's squeaky.

Maude (with heat). It isn't! You're awfully mean! I've got to be heard!

Miss R. Try it again. Use a deeper tone. "As a traveler, among the mighty mountains, fails to realize the height–" Now, go on.

Maude (nervously). "As a traveler, among the mighty mountains, fails to realize the height to which he has climbed, so we, in Life's dusty pathway, cannot estimate the distance we have traveled." O, Miss Rantum, that isn't right!

Miss R. No, not exactly, not precisely right. You see, you–

Jack Why don't you use "journeyed" instead of "traveled"?

Maude (ignoring him). Miss Rantum, what is the matter with it? I'm not doing as well as I did last week!

Miss R. No, you really aren't, but–

Jack I say, why don't you change–

Maude (imploringly). What is the matter, Miss Rantum?

Miss R. It isn't firm. You don't seem to know what you are saying.

Maude (in grave-yard tones). "As the traveler, among the mighty mountains, fails to–"

Jack (ditto). Finally, my beloved brethren–

Miss R. (hastily). Lighter, but firmly. Use a conversational tone, "As the traveler, among the mountains;" "It is a very pleasant day," "How do you do?" See?

Maude (in light, quivering tones). "As a traveler, among the mountains–mighty mountains–fails to realize the height to which he has climbed–has climbed, so we, in Life's dusty pathway, cannot estimate the distance we have traveled."

Jack "Climbed–climbed." I don't like "climbed" there; wouldn't "attained" be better?

Maude Professor Grindem didn't say so.

Jack "Attained" is a prettier word.

Maude (earnestly). Do you think so?

Miss R. "Climbed" is better. It is a real traveler and real mountains, hence "climbed." "Attained" sounds as if it were ideals, you know.

Maude (sighing profoundly). Yes, I think so, too. Besides, it's too late to change it now. I'd forget.

Jack All right! "On with the dance." I'm no judge.

Miss R. Go on with the next paragraph.

Maude The next isn't a paragraph.

Miss R. (very patiently and gently). Well, go on with the next.

Maude "Among life's bright flowers, its rugged slopes, its pleasant walleys–"

Miss R. Valleys.

Maude "Its pleasant walleys, its–"

Miss R. Valleys.

Maude (nervously). Let me start over.

Miss R. Well, only use deeper tones. (She sits down.)

Maude (very slowly). "Among life's bright flowers, its rugged slopes, its pleasant walleys–valleys, its dangerous pitfalls, we cannot realize the magnitood of the common things about us."

Miss R. "Magnitude," not "tood."

Maude "The magnitude of the common things about us."

Miss R. Touch "common things" more lightly; "of the common things about us,"–"common things."

Maude (takes a sprint). We cannot realize the magnitood–tude–of the "common–" oh, dear, I can never say it!"

Miss R. Yes, you can. You are doing well,–remarkably well.

Maude O Miss Rantum!

Jack You are, honest Injun! It'll be dandy.

Miss R. Please read,–are you tired standing?

Maude (dismally). No,–I got to get it.

Miss R. Please read that second paragraph–sentence–again.

Maude (taking a brace). Among life's bright flowers, its rugged slopes–

Miss R. R-r-r-rugged slopes.

Maude Rugged slopes.

Miss R. No, r-r-rugged slopes. Trill your "r."

Maude (flatly). I can't.

Jack What's the use? I don't think she need. People only do that on Decoration Day. "Br-rave, r-rugged heroes," you know.

(Enter Katherine.)

Katherine Miss Maude, a letter from you–for you, I mean. (Hands one in awestruck manner and escapes.)

Jack That girl is scared to death at anything that looks like writing. Did you see her?

Miss R. (leaning back in her chair). Is she of foreign extraction?

Jack No, foreign distraction.

Maude (falling into a chair and opening letter). From Valeria. She can't come over this