afternoon. She's got to, to–I can't make it out. (spells slowly). B-a-an, B-a-n–

Jack Banana, maybe. She's got to banana. Let me see it, I'm used to her hand.

Maude Indeed! (elaborately). Indeed, you are! Maybee this is your note?

Jack You needn't get so mad. Let her banana. I don't care!

Maude (springing up). Neither do I! Take the note!

(Katherine appears at the door.)

Katherine (in much trepidation). Perfesser Grindem.

Jack (pleasantly). All right Katherine, we are perpared!

(Enter Professor Grindem.)

Grindem (bows profoundly, repeatedly). Ah, good morning, ladies, good morning! Mr. Hamilton, ah, good morning! How is the work progressing?

(Jack shakes hands. Miss Rantum bows distantly.)

Maude (tearing note into tiny bits). I shall be scared to death.

Grindem (cordially). Not at all, Miss Maude, ah, not at all! Not at all! You will feel power,–power is ahem!–power is a great thing–a great thing.

Maude (dejectedly). Yes, Professor.

(Enter Mrs. De Smythe)

Grindem May I hear the–ah, Mrs. De Smythe, good morning!

(Mrs. De Smythe adjusts herself on couch.)

Mrs. De S. Yes, Maudie, dear, read it all to us. O Matilda, Matilda, my salts! Now, Maudie!

(Miss Hoppenhoer bustles in and takes her station behind couch.)

Maude (painfully taking "position"). "Life's Inner Meanings."

Mrs. De S. A very pretty subject, I think.

Miss H. (sniffs). A very pretty broad one, I think!

Maude (impressively). "Life's Inner Meanings."

Miss R. Stand straighter, Miss Maude–so.

Jack I think that's awkward,–looks as if she were going to cry "Lay on, Macduff!"

Maude Why, Jack Hamilton!

Mrs. De S. Jack's only joking. Why don't you go on?

Maude "Life's Inner Meanings," (then, very rapidly). "As a traveler among the mighty mountains, fails to realize the height to which he has climbed, so we, in Life's dusty pathway, cannot estimate the distance we have traveled. Among life's bright flowers, its rugged slopes, its pleasant walleys–valleys, its dangerous pitfalls, we cannot realize the magnitood–tude–magnitude of the common things about us." (Stops, breathless.)

Miss R. Don't sway so. Hold the body firm.

Mrs. De S. There's no hurry, child.

Jack That pace would kill!

Miss R. (to Professor Grindem). Her voice is not deep enough. It lacks impressiveness.

Grindem Yes, it lacks power–power, I should say.

Maude (near tears). I can't get a new voice for this old essay!

Miss H. Yes, you ought to; you ought to be made over if you're going to graduate!

Mrs. De S. Do go on; I am very fond of the next part.

Maude (continues). "We stand upon the brink–"

Miss R. More rapidly there, "We stand upon the brink!"

Maude (in exact imitation). "We stand upon the brink."

Jack (ditto). That is, if we don't fall off–

Maude Make Jack be still or I–I–can't!

Jack Beg your pardon, but really, 'a brink,' you know.

Maude "We stand upon the brink–who can guess what say the dashing waters beneath? Who can interpret the silence of the eternal stars? We rest in the walley–valley, who can understand the whispering of the leaves? Who can read the secrets of the ocean blue? O, deep are the inner meanings,–deep, deep are the mysteries of nature, infinite are the suggestions of life!"

Grindem Too, rapidly, Miss Maude,–too rapidly. Those are grand sentiments,–give 'em time–give 'em time.

Miss R. There is not enough emotion in the climax: "Deep, deep are the mysteries of nature!" Read it (in a cellerage tone). "Deep, deep are the mysteries of nature!"

Maude (using the "vox humana stop"). "Deep, deep are the mysteries of nature!"

Mrs. De S. (soothingly). You are not doing so well, Maudie, today.

Miss H. No, I think you get worse.

Maude Nobody c-could! You all find fault. (weeps). You couldn't do any better–none of you–so there now!

Miss H. Never mind! It doesn't matter. Don't graduate.

Maude (still weeping). It does matter! It d-does! I don't want to disgrace the family.

Miss H. Ought to have commenced sooner, then, if you didn't!

Voice from without. Who's going to disgrace the family? I'd like to see 'em try it.

(As Mr. De Smythe appears, Professor Grindem and Jack go out, in deep converse.)

Maude I am!

Mr. De S. Oh, no, you're not,–not by the R.I.P. Railroad! (cheerfully). You won't be permitted to, Miss! Doesn't the dress fit?

Maude (with intense scorn). The dress! Oh, Papa, my piece!

Mr. De S. O, you're piece! Say it to me! I haven't heard it today.

Maude You're making fun of me!

Miss H. The child is worn out.

Maude I am not worn out! I am not a baby! (collapses). I wish I was d-d-dead!

Mrs. De S. O dear! O dear! Maudie, child!

Maude I just w-wish I was.

Mr. De S. W-h-y-ee! When I have brought you your present! I am astonished!

Maude Have you? Oh, Papa, have you? Let me see!

Mr. De S. (taking out of his pocket a tiny case). No more tears?

Maude (rubbing eyes hard). No–never.

Mr. De S. Honest? I've never seen so many tears. We are a Johnstown flood lately. (Gives jeweler's case.)

Maude A watch! A w-a-t-c-h!! (flies at him).

(Re-enter Jack and Mr. Bulbus.)

Mr. Bulbus. (bows awkwardly). I come to see about them