if you could manage to go home without it! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons, she would call out “come here,” and there she would have to leave off, because there wouldn’t be any name for her to call, and of course you wouldn’t have to go, you know.

Alice

That would never do, I’m sure; the governess would never think of excusing me from lessons for that. If she couldn’t remember my name, she’d call me “Miss,” as the servants do.

Red Queen

Well, if she said “Miss,” and didn’t say anything more, of course you’d miss your lessons. I dare say you can’t even read this book.

Alice

It’s all in some language I don’t know. Why, it’s a looking-glass book, of course! And if I hold it up to a glass, the words will all go the right way again.

Jabberwocky
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

It seems very pretty, but it’s rather hard to understand; somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas—only I don’t exactly know what they are.

Red Queen

I daresay you don’t know your geography either. Look at the map!

[She takes a right angle course to the portieres and points to them with her sceptre.]

Alice

It’s marked out just like a big chessboard. I wouldn’t mind being a pawn, though of course I should like to be a Red Queen best.

Red Queen

That’s easily managed. When you get to the eighth square you’ll be a Queen. It’s a huge game of chess that’s being played—all over the world. Come on, we’ve got to run. Faster, don’t try to talk.

Alice

I can’t.

Red Queen

Faster, faster.

Alice

Are we nearly there?

Red Queen

Nearly there! Why, we passed it ten minutes ago. Faster. You may rest a little now.

Alice

Why, I do believe we’re in the same place. Everything’s just as it was.

Red Queen

Of course it is, what would you have it?

Alice

Well, in our country you’d generally get to somewhere else—if you ran very fast for a long time as we’ve been doing.

Red Queen

A slow sort of country. Now here you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that.

Alice

I’d rather not try, please! I’m quite content to stay here—only I am so hot and thirsty.

Red Queen

I know what you’d like.

[She takes a little box out of her pocket.]

Have a biscuit?

[Alice, not liking to refuse, curtseys as she takes the biscuit and chokes.]

Red Queen

While you’re refreshing yourself, I’ll just take the measurements.

[She takes a ribbon out of her pocket and measures the map with it.]

At the end of two yards I shall give you your directions—have another biscuit?

Alice

No thank you, one’s quite enough.

Red Queen

Thirst quenched, I hope? At the end of three yards I shall repeat them—for fear of your forgetting them. At the end of four, I shall say good-bye. And at the end of five, I shall go! That Square belongs to Humpty Dumpty and that Square to the Gryphon and Mock Turtle and that Square to the Queen of Hearts. But you make no remark?

Alice

I—I didn’t know I had to make one—just then.

Red Queen

You should have said, “It’s extremely kind of you to tell me all this,” however, we’ll suppose it said. Four! Good-bye! Five!

[Red Queen vanishes in a gust of wind behind the portieres. Rabbit music. White Rabbit comes out of the fireplace and walks about the room hurriedly. He wears a checked coat, carries white kid gloves in one hand, a fan in the other and takes out his watch to look at it anxiously.]

White Rabbit

Oh the Duchess! the Duchess! Oh! won’t she be savage if I’ve kept her waiting!

Alice

I’ve never seen a rabbit with a waistcoat and a watch! And a waistcoat pocket! If you please, sir—

White Rabbit

Oh!

[He drops fan and gloves in fright and dashes out by way of the portieres in a gust of wind. Alice picks up the fan and playfully puts on the gloves. The portieres flap in the breeze and a shawl flies in.]

Alice

[Catches the shawl and looks about for the owner; then meets the White Queen.]

I’m very glad I happened to be in the way.

White Queen

[Runs in wildly, both arms stretched out wide as if she were flying, and cries in a helpless frightened way.]

Bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter.

Alice

Am I addressing the White Queen?

White Queen

Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing. It isn’t my notion of the thing, at all.

Alice

If your Majesty will only tell me the right way to begin, I’ll do it as well as I can.

White Queen

But I don’t want it done at all. I’ve been a-dressing myself for the last two hours.

Alice

Every single thing’s crooked, and you’re all over pins; may I put your shawl straight for you?

White Queen

I don’t know what’s the matter with it! It’s out of temper. I’ve pinned it here, and I’ve pinned it there, but there’s no pleasing it.

Alice

It can’t go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side, and dear me, what a state your hair is in!

White Queen