Bradforth directly! Aw dooan't want thi to goa if it's agean thi mind!"

"It's nooan mi mind it's mi stummack! if aw worn't sufferin' like this aw should be fain to goa; but say what it's to be; are we to goa forrad or turn back?"

"Aw shall goa forrad an' tha can pleas thisen."

"Then aw shall goa forrad if tha does. Goa an' find aght all particlars an' see after this luggage an' mak all as reight an' square as tha can an' then if ther's time, tak me somewhear to get summat to stir this pain. Awm a deeal fitter for bed nor to be knockin' abaat like this."

Aw left him wol aw made enquiries, but aw couldn't help wonderin' if Smith had as mich bother wi' me when he tuk me raand to see th' Seets i' Lundun as aw seemed likely to have wi' Billy.

"The best plan for you to do is to take a cab and get your luggage to Victoria station, the train starts from there and they'll give you all information," sed th' pooarter aw ax'd. Ther wor plenty on'em an' we gate one an' wor sooin rollin' away. "Couldn't we ha' walked it, Sammy? Tha knows walkin' is far better for me nor bein' shook to bits in a ditherin' con-sarn like this."

"It's too far to walk an' we'st be thear directly."

"Has ta emptied that bottle?"

"Eeah, does ta want summat? Awl stop th' cab in a minit."

"Does fa want summat?'coss if tha doesn't tha's noa need to stop th' cab for th' sake o' me. Aw've been used to sufferin all mi life, an' happenfif aw did get summat aw should be noa better."

But just then th' cab did stop an' when aw shoved mi heead aght to see th' reason on it, thear wor th' same railway guard sittin' on th' dicky ov another cab wi' my umberel ovver his shoolder, an' he wor grin-nin' like a Cheshire cat. "Is this thy parryshute, Sammywell?"

"Awl shute thee if tha doesn't hand it ovver here!" aw says.

A'a, but aw wor fain to see him, for if awd lost that umberel aw nivver dar ha' faced hooam! Ov coorse that wor a nice excuse to get aght an' have a leek on. Billy called for a pot o' hauf an' hafe, an' when he gate it up to his lips he held it thear soa long wol aw thowt he'd getten his teeth fast i'th pewter an' couldn't leeav lawse, but when he did put it daan th' bartender whipt it aght o'th' rooad ready for another customer an' Billy wiped his lips and gave a sigh o' satisfaction'at wor like music to me.

"Nah, what does ta think o: that?" aw sed.

"Middlin', but it's rayther short o' malt."

Aw wor soa thankful to get mi'nelly back wol aw stood treat twice raand. "Aw'st ha' to be more carefui for th' futer," aw sed, "for aw wodn't pairt wi' it for its weight o' new ens."

"If tha did tha'd be able to start a shop," sed Billy.

"Why not have your name put on it?" sed th' guard.

"Bith' mass! aw nivver thowt o' that!"

"There's a shop next door but one, a regular umbrella hospital, I dare say they would do it for you in a few minutes, and you've got plenty of time; I'll stay with your friend till you come back."

Aw went, an' gate inside aw tell'd what aw wanted to a nice modest lukkin' young woman, an' as sooin as shoo saw it, it seem'd to remind her ov her early days, maybe shoo'd an old mother somewhear'at had one like it, or a fayther moulderin' away i'th' churchyard'at had once been praad o' sich a one. Aw ommost felt sooary aw'd spokken, for whativver it wor, it made her bury her face in her white kertchy an' hurry away in a state o' agitation'at touched me to th' quick. In abaat a minit, a young bit ov a whipper-snapper ov a chap, wi' his hair pairted daan th' middle, comes, an' aw tell'd him what aw wanted. He seized hold ov it an' began handlin' it as if he'd noa more respect for it nor he had for hissen, (an' a chap'at pairts his hair daan th' middle is nivver troubled wi' mich,) an' then he started laffin' an' began axin' me all sooarts o' questions abaat it." "Young man," aw sed, "Aw didn't come here to give th' history o' my umbrella, aw coom to ax if yo could put mi name on it, an' if tha doesn't stop off messin' it up an' daan awl come raand an' see if my shoe tooa can stir thi brains a bit." He saw aw meant it so he sobered daan a bit an' handed it back to me, an' he sed 'he wor varry sorry but it wom't i' their line, but if aw tuk it across to a ironmonger's opposite aw should happen be able to get a door-plate to fit it.' "An' if aw do," aw says, "awl come for thy heead for th' door nop an' when aw come aght o' that shop yo couldn't tell whear th' pairtin' o' that chap's hair had been, but awl bet it wom't i'th' middle for a wick or two at after.

Aw didn't goa to th' ironmongers, but aw went back to whear aw'd left Billy, but he wor soa taen up wi' th' guard wol aw sat mi daan, quietly to wait an' as aw'd been put abaat a bit aw eased misen wi' havin' a tawk to mi umberel.—

What matters if some fowk deride,

An' point wi' a finger o' scorn?

Th' time wor tha wor lukt on wi' pride,

Befoor mooast o' th' scoffers wor bom.

But awl ne'er turn mi back on a friend,

Tho' old fashioned an' grey like thisel;

But awl try to cling to thi to th' end,

Tho' tha'rt nobbut an old umberel.

Whear wod th' young ens'at laff be to-day,

But for th' old ens they turn into fun?

Who wor wearin' thersen bent an' grey,

When theirdays had hardly begun?

Ther own youth will quickly glide past;

If they live they'll all grow old thersel;

An' they'll long for a true friend at last,

Though it's nobbut an old umberel.

Tha's grown budgey, an' faded, an' worn,

Yet thi inside is honest an' strong,

But thi coverin's tattered an' torn,

An' awm feeard'at tha cannot last long.

But when th' few years 'at's left us have run,

An' to th' world we have whispered farewells;

May they say'at my duty wor done,

As weel as mi old umberel's.'

Awd getten soa far when they called me to'em, an' after another sup we bid gooid day to th' guard, gate into th' cab an' wor sooin at Victoria station.

When we gate thear, we fan th' train didn't start till past eight o'clock. "Nah, tha's getten us into a bonny mullock, tha has! Aw thowt tha reckoned to know summat abaat travellin'. We've hauf a day to goa wanderin' abaat an' me i' this state—net fit to walk a yard. What does ta mean to do? We'd happen better caar here? An' ther's three quarters o' malt i'th' mash at hooam an' here aw am hallockin' abaat fast what to do wi' mi time."

"Aw care nowt abaat thy three quarters o' malt, Billy; if tha'rt soa anxious abaat it tha should ha' stopt wi' it or else browt it wi' thi! Awm baan to have summat to ait an' tha can pleas thisen."

"Nay, aw nooan want to pleeas misen, net aw marry! Aw've come here o' purpose to pleas thee. Do whativver tha likes it'll be reight to me; tha's getten me here nah soa aw mun mak th' best on't."

We set off an' had a long walk an' aw could see'at he wor a bit capt as we passed some o' th' big buildins an' monuments soa aw ax'd his opinion on'em.

"Varry fair, considerin'," he sed, "but aw expected findin' 'em bigger, an' thes nooan on'em ovver cleean."

"Why," aw sed, "tha'll have to goa a long way to find bigger nor theas."

"They're noa bigger, accordinglye to th' place nor yond little haase o' mine up at th' moor end."

Aw tuk him into a place whear aw knew we could get a gooid meal at a reasonable rate an' axt him what he'd have.

"Aw dunnot know what to say—ther's nowt aw dar touch wi' mi stummack i' this state—thee order what tha likes."

"Awm gooin' in for a mutton