me when aw went in. Aw seemed to sink into insignificance all at once, an' aw could'nt help thinkin' at ther wor happen moor trewth i' what awr Mally had tell'd me nor awd felt inclined to admit,—Aw could see at Billy wor as mich capt as me for he walked a yard or two an' then stopt to turn raand, an' his een lukt fairly to be startin' aght ov his heead, an' his lower jaw hung onto his shirt as if th' back hinge ov his face had brokken. "Nah," aw says, "what does ta think abaat this? will this do for thi?" but he nobbut gave me a luk an' withaat spaikin' went a yard or two farther an' turned raand agean. After a while we gained th' oppen air agean an' then we sat daan whear we could have a view o' th' watter fall an faantens. "This is grand," aw sed.

"Tha says reight for once, an'to tell th' plain trewth nah, awm nooan sooary aw've come, for it'll fit me to tawk abaat for monny a year."

"Well, awm glad tha's fun summat to suit thi an' aw think tha will be suited befoor we've done; for th' buildin' we've come throo is varry little moor nor th' gateway to a show at occupies 140 acres. Aw dooant think we've owt i' England to equal that!"

"Now!—Bith' heart! Sammy; if a chap could nobbut get that buildin' at a easy rent, an' start it as a brewery it ud lick owt o' th' sooart we have! Tha sees ther's plenty o' gooid watter—yo could pile yor barrels up ith' centre thear—therms plenty o' raam for th' waggons to goa in an' aght—th' brewin plant could be fixed at this end—th' malt an' hops could be kept i' one o' them steeples, an' th' grains could be shot aght o' that winder. It mud ha been built for it. It nobbut wants them moniments an' gim-cracks clearin aght, an' it could be made to do i' noa time ommost.

"Well, Sammy aw must say awm fain aw've come, an if tha's a mind, we'll get aght o' th' sun an' see if we can get summat to sup, but we will'nt have ale this time; aw dooant feel to care soa mich abaat it just nah. If tha's nowt agean it we'll join at one o' them bottles o' red ink; it can nobbut pooisen us'schews ha."

Aw felt soa mad wol aw could'nt help wishin' at it wod pooisen him for aw thowt he desarved it. We went to a bonny little place whear aw saw some bottles an' glasses, aw dooant know what to call it, but it wor a sooart ov a goa between a public haase an' a summer haase, an' aw managed to mak' a bonny young lass understand what we wanted, an' shoo sarved us wi a smilin' face an' as mich curtseyin' as if we'd gooan to ax abaat th' vallyation, an' when aw held aght a handful o' silver for her to tak pay aght on, shoo nobbut tuk one French shillin, an' yo can buy em at tuppence apiece less nor awrs. We thowt that wor bein' gentlemen at a varry cheap rate. Yo may hardly believe it, but aw've paid three times as mich for stuff'at has'nt been hauf as gooid,—"Aw call this reasonable," aw says.

"Cheap as muck," sed Billy, "its worth that mich to see a bonny lass like that—tha sees shoo's like a lady an' shoo knows manners too. Its a thaasand pities at shoo connot tawk gradely English."

"It is; shoo's to be pitied for that. English fowk have a deeal to be thankful for, but happen shoo's satisfied, for shoo'll be able to understand other fowk."

"Tha munnat tell me at a lass like yond can ivver be satisfied wi a lot o' gabberin' fowk at cant tawk soas to be understood, shoo's like yond buildin' we've just come throo, shoo owt to be put to a better purpose. A'a! what a brewus yond wod mak'!"

"Well, tha knows we've all noations ov us own, an' aw connot agree wi thee thear. Tha seems to care nowt abaat art, all tha thinks on is ale."

"Well, did ta ivver know onnybody at filled ther belly o' art? Nah aw've known monny a one do it wi ale. That's th' way to luk at it."

"It's thy way but it is'nt mine, but as time's gooin on lets goa into th' place whear all theas wonderful things are to be seen."

"Goa thi ways, for thar't th' mooast restless chap aw ivver knew, tha'rt like a worm on a whut backstun, an' if tha gets into a comfortable corner tha will'nt stop. It's nice an' cooil here, but awst be sweltered i' th' sunshine. If th' weather's owt like this at hooam it'll play the hangment wi yond galcar."

Awm net gooin to say mich abaat th' Exhibition for one or two reasons—furst is aw think it's been a deeal better done bi somdy else, an' second, it'll tak up soa mich time, an' ther's net monny fowk at has'nt seen one, an' they're all mackley—Its enuff to say at this licks all at's gooan befoor it, an' 'at noa Englishman had ony need to shame for his country, an' nubdy had moor cause for pride nor Yorksher fowk. We roamed abaat for an' haar or two but feastin' one's een does'nt satisfy th' stummack, an' soa aw hinted at we should goa to th' English buffet whear my guide book sed we could get owt we wanted to ait an' find fowk at could tawk English. As sooin as aw mentioned it Billy sed he cared nowt for a buffet, he'd a deeal rayther have a arm cheer, but when aw explained what it wor he wor ready enuff to goa. Awd been warned befoor aw coom abaat extortion an' roagery an' tell'd what awful charges they made for simple things, but aw meant havin summat daycent to ait whativver it cost—soa we sat daan an' ordered soop, an' a plate o' rost beef an' puttates, an' some roily polly puddin for a start, an' we thowt if that wornt enuff, we'd ax if they could give us a plate o' pie. We sooin gate throo th' soop, but we sat a long time waitin' for th' rost beef to follow. Next to Billy wor a Frenchman an' his wife,—(aw sup-pooas Frenchmen have wives sometimes,)—an' one o' th' waiters browt him a nice plate o' boiled chicken, soa we thowt, but he didnt seem to tak onny noatice on it but went on wi his tawkin—Billy kept lukkin first at him an' then at th' plate an' at last he turned to me an' says, "This chap doesnt seem hungry an' its a pity to see this gooin cold," soa he shifted th' plate an' began to wire in. It did'nt tak him aboon three minutes to finish th' lot an' he passed back th' empty plate,—an' just then th' waiter coom wi awr rost beef. We'd just getten fairly started when th' Frenchman turned raand to begin, an' when he saw th' plate wi nowt on it he lukt as if he could ha swallered them at had swallered his dinner, an' he called for th' waiter an' be th' way he shaated an' shrugged his shoolders it wor plain to be seen'at he wor lettin somdy have it hot, but that did'nt affect Billy for he wor cooil enough an' stuck to his mark like a brick, but this Frenchman wor detarmined net to let it drop soa easily, an' he stormed an' raved as if he'd been robbed ov a pop-ticket, "Whats to do wi this cranky fooil," sed Billy?

Th' waiter could spaik English an' he says, "This gentleman says that he has had nothing to eat and he wont pay, and I am certain I brought him a dish of stewed frogs, and now he wants to declare he's never seen them!"

Billy's face went as white as mi hat, an' he dropt his knife an' fork, "Nah, aw've done it!" he sed, spaikin' to me, "awst be pooisened, aw know aw shall! It's all thy fault an' tha'll ha to answer for it."

"Awd nowt to do wi it, tha should let stuff alooan at doesnt belang to thi; but ha did they taste?"

"Aw thowt awd nivver had owt as grand i' mi life an' aw wor meeanin to have another plate but nah at aw know what it wor awd rayther ha gien a fiver nor ha touched sich-like powse. Tha mun promise me nivver to tell when we get back, or else they'll plague me abaat it as long as they've a day to live."

He seemed to ha lost his appetite after this, but aw stuck to mi corner an' made a rattlin dinner an' when awd to pay, an' it wor nobbut two franks an' a hauf (that's little moor nor two bob,) aw felt varry mich inclined to ax em if they could let us have a bed for th' neet, an then awd send for awr Mally an' live thear for six months, for awm sewer aw could'nt live as cheap at hooam. Then we went to have a luk at th' picturs, an' aw felt praader nor ivver as aw went throo th' English gallery—it wor grand! but ther wor others at wor ommost as gooid.

Ther