id="id00335">Hastings Not at all. He was never attacked by a malady in his entire life until the horrible accident which caused his death.

Captain
He had an iron constitution.

Spruce (aside to Captain)
Now, you're right.

Captain (aside to Spruce)
Shut up, then.

Hastings This conversation will awaken your grief. Let's talk of something more lively and gay. You are going to see my daughter, and I flatter myself you will be very content with her looks and her vivacity.

Captain I hope that duty will answer for me. I count very little on my own will.

Hastings You are quite wrong. Rely on enchanting her at first sight. I know women, and, take my word, Flavella is a wax tablet which I mould and form to my pleasure. I'll be very much surprised if you are not to her taste. I am her father, and to show you how much she defers to my wishes, just step aside. I am going to call her, and, without her seeing you, you will see how she responds to you.

(Exit Hastings)

Captain Leave me here. Go find my brother. The main thing is to prevent him from meeting Mr. Torrington. Make sure!

Spruce I agree. But, in the romantic mood he's in, I don't guarantee I'll be able to prevent him from seeing Miss Flavella. So, press her ardently, but be quick about it, there's no time to waste.

Captain
Go, quickly. I won't lose any time here. (steps aside)

(Exit Spruce in one direction. From another, enter Hastings and
Flavella.)

Hastings
Now, come along, Flavella.

Flavella
What is it, father?

Hastings To be brief about it, a man from Scotland has just arrived. He's very good looking, and he's here to marry you.

Flavella (aside)
What to I hear?

Hastings It's a perfect match—birth, wealth, family, all to my taste, and, as to his person—his person will suit you, my dear, suit you perfectly.

Flavella
Father, without, without pushing this conversation any further, permit
me to say, with deference and without showing any lack of obedience—I
HAVE NO INTENTION OF GETTING MARRIED!

Hastings
What? When did you decide that? You never used to talk like this.

Flavella True, but wisdom comes with age. I know the danger now. Today, husbands are, for the most part, jealous and unfaithful. They want a woman to marry their caprices. The best husbands are those with only a FEW vices.

Hastings But, he's a very nice, young man. You'll like him when you get to know him.

Flavella
I ALREADY HATE HIM WITHOUT SEEING HIM! It's enough that he's a
Scotsman and wears kilts. I wouldn't have him if he were a prince.

Captain (appearing) Madame, it's not necessary to be so passionate against the poor unfortunate your father wants to give you. If you hate him, he can find others whose sentiments differ from yours.

Flavella (aside) Good Heavens, what do I see! How astonishing! It's Captain McNaughten, dear God, it's my lover.

Hastings I am in despair that such a distaste has rendered her spirit so contrary to my wishes. But, I will force her, if you wish me to—

Captain No, sir, do not force her inclinations. I would rather die than constrain Madame's heart.

Hastings
Look him over, daughter. He's a husband practically made to order.
He's a young man, well born, and his spirit is the equal of his birth
and wealth.

Captain (plaintively)
I was wrong to set my hopes so high.

Flavella
What—is this the man you propose for me?

Hastings Yes—if you don't cross me in my choice. If your stupid, crazy ideas don't ruin all my plans and care.

Flavella To be honest with you, after seeing him, my heart isn't so set against marriage as it was before.

Captain You have such a passionate hate for me—can your eye accustom itself to look on me?

Flavella
My father's the boss. I will do everything daddy says.

(Enter Urania)

Urania
Ah, you are still here, traitor! With what impudence do you dare to
remain in my presence, after you have treated me with such indignity?
Aren't you afraid of my just anger?

Captain
Madame, I don't know what you are trying to say, and this brusque
conversation bewilders me. You mistake me for someone else, I am sure.
What complaint have you against me?

Urania Two faced traitor! Do you pretend not to know me? You tricked me with a pretended passion, and I, in good faith,—I gave you my heart— (wailing)—without knowing yours and all its darkness!

Captain You honor me with all my defects, but truly, I don't understand a word you are talking about.

Hastings
My word, neither do I. But tell me, sister, what are you getting at?
This bizarre humor—

Captain
This lady is your sister?

Hastings Yes, sir—who infuriates me—my elder sister, but not wiser. What new caprice, what new demon, I say, makes you come play mischief? To scandalize this poor gentleman who never saw you before in his life? How could he have harmed you, a perfect stranger?

Urania Doesn't know me! A perfect stranger! I believe you're mad. For two years, this ingrate has been my suitor—my lover. This gigolo has drawn on my wealth, and I have paid for practically every thing he wears. If I hadn't taken pity on his misfortunes, he would long ago have been on the dole.

Hastings
I told you so; she's a little crazy.

Captain
Still, she seems normal. Some sort of mistake.

Hastings
Oh, I give you my word.

Captain In any event, I don't relish lingering here any longer to listen to this insulting discourse. I leave the battle field to the lady. I will return as soon as she leaves.

Hastings No one can stop her from talking. You have to put up with her difficult nature.

Captain For a while, sir, permit me to leave you. I will return to finish my visit.

(Exit Captain)

Urania (pursuing him part way) Don't think to escape me. I know your plans. You may try to tear him from my arms, but I swear I will marry him, in spite of the daughter, the father, the relations, the whole family—in spite of him, and in spite of myself, too.

(Exit Urania after the Captain)

Hastings What vertigo disturbs her and brings her here? As she gets older, her head seems to get more and more disturbed.

Flavella
It's true. I'm very often ashamed for her.

Hastings I am afraid that this woman, with her unaccountable temper may come here and cause some misfortune.

(Enter McNaughten and Spruce)

Spruce (to McNaughten) Yes, sir, here they are: the father and daughter, together. You can speak with both of them about your affair.

Hastings Ah, sir, my daughter and I must beg your pardon for my sister and her wild delusions. You conceive, sir, that women, like little girls, sometimes have spirits that go against their family.

McNaughten
Ah,—yes,—sir.

Hastings
You return quickly. I am delighted.