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قراءة كتاب Seets I' Paris
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SEETS I' PARIS.
Sammywell Grimes's Trip With His Old Chum Billy Baccus; His Opinion O'th' French, And Th' French Opinion O'th' Exhibition He Made Ov Hissen.
By John Hartley
Author Of "Clock Almanack," Yorkshire Ditties," "Seets I' Lundun," "Grimes's Trip To America," "Many A Slip," "A Rolling Stone." "Yorkshek Puddin." &C.
London:
W. Nicholson & Sons,
26, PATERNOSTER SQUARE, E. C., AND ALBION WORKS, WAKEFIELD.
CONTENTS
PREFACE.
O them'at read this book an are disappointed becoss aw've described noa 'Seets' but what they knew all abaat befoar, awd simply beg on em to bear i' mind 'at they didn't mak a new Payris o' purpose for me to visit;—an to them 'at's inclined to daat trewth o' some o'th' descriptions aw do give, becoss when they wor thear things lukt different to them, awd beg em to remember at we dooant all see wi th' same een, an if it had been intended 'at we should, one pair o' een wod ha done for th' lot, an then what wod ha becoom o'th' spectacle makkers. Nah, if hawf o'th' book is fact, that's worth sixpence, an if t'other hawf is fancy, that's worth sixpence; soa bless mi life I what wod yo have?
Yors i' hard eearnest,
SAMMYWELL GRIMES.
Dedicated As Token Of Respect, To
John Stansfield, Esq., Halifax.
With The Best Wishes Of
The Author.
November, 1878.
SEETS I' PARIS.
CHAPTER I.
W nivver intended to let yo know what had happened when aw went to Payris, but as aw wor foolish enough to tak' another chap wi me, an as awm feeard if aw did'nt tell he wod, why awm foorced to tell misen. Nah, awm quite willin' to admit'at ther may'nt be mich'at yo'll consider reight abaat it but for mi' own Karacter's sake aw shall try to prove at ther wor nowt varry far wrang.
Aw could like to tell yo all aw saw an' all aw heeard, but aw've lived long enuff to know at trewth isnt allus pleasant, an' i' this case awm sewer it wod'nt be, for if aw may judge other fowk bi' misen awm foorced to say at th' inklin aw gate o' some types o' society made a bad impression'at has'nt left me yet.
Awd been advised whativver else aw did, to leeav Mally at hooam, for they sed noa chap could enjoy hissen i' Payris if he tuk a woman wi' him, an' especially if shoo considered hersen to be his guardian angel, which is another word for maister.
But aw did'nt feel inclined to goa bi' misen like a wanderin' jew, soa aw went to ax Billy Baccus if he'd join me an' then we could goa like th' Cussican brothers. Nah, it soa happened at Billy had been ailin' for a long time, ha long nubdy knew but hissen, for he's a famous memory an' booasts'at he can recollect his father an' mother havin' a fratch as to whether th' next child should be a lad or a lass befoor he wor born; but then awm nooan foorced to believe all he says, an' yo can please yorsen. Hasomivver, his ailments began somewhear abaat that time, an' he's nivver had ony gradely health sin. When Billy's at hooam he keeps a beershop at th' moorside an' does a varry tidy trade ov a Sundy, but durin' th' wick its seldom or ivver at onybody darkens th' door an' that's a varry gooid job, for he's sich a martyr to his trade, an' soa anxious to suit his customers, at he'll nivver sarve onybody wi a pint until he's supt a gill to sample it, an' when it comes shuttin' up time, he's soa full up at he has to sit ith' arm cheer as straight as a pikestaff for fear if he should lig daan it mud run aght an' be wasted. During th' rest o' th' wick he suffers tarribly, an' monny a time he's hard warkto get on wi his brewin.
He's nivver been wed, tho' he's a gooid lukkin' chap enuff, but his old mother lives wi him an' nurses him up as weel as shoo can. Shoo's tell'd him monny a time at shoo thinks he'd be better if he'd a wife, but he allus says he's feeard if he wor wed an' should have ony childer'at they might have his complaint an' he doesnt want to be th' means o' onybody else havin' to suffer as he's done. But altho' his mother has a deal to do for him, shoo's varry praad on him, for he's her only lad an' shoo says he's th' best brewer at ivver smell'd o' malt, an' for a duzzen year he's nivver had a brewin at womt fit to sup, though nah and then ther's one'at isnt fit to sell, but he's ov a careful turn an' nivver wastes it, an' wol he's suppin that he's savin' summat better, an' if it maks noa profit yet it isnt mich ov a loss. Aw've tell'd yo soa mich abaat Billy to introduce him like, an' yo'll get to know him better as we goa on.
Aw tuk th' first chonce aw had to goa see him an it happened to be Sundy mornin' an' he wor varry bad,